Try to make sure that your ledes are smooth and clear in sequence, and that related information flows cleanly. I thought this lede was a bit choppy:
A woman is charged for accepting $12,000 in aid from an adoption agency after claiming a false pregnancy, with intent of fraud.
Read that one out loud. Not so smooth, right?
I think sequencing could have helped here by putting like information together; in this case, the woman and what got her in trouble. Taking the same info but putting it in a new order resulted in this:
A woman claiming a false pregnancy with intent of fraud was charged for accepting $12,000 in aid from an adoption agency.
What do you think? A bit better? More logical? Rolls off the tongue a bit easier? Easier to read?
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