Thursday, March 17, 2011

Test #2 -- Some General Observations . . .

First off, most of you did well in this assignment, and no one did awful. Lots of good story structure and organization; many good ledes followed by explanatory nut grafs and telling quotes.

Still some problems with attribution. Make sure each graf containing information which you did not observe and which does not aggregate information from multiple sources has an attribution.

Also, using the name of a state in conjunction with a city's name usually is not necessary when the city is within the state of your publication. So adding the state name to Grand Rapids, for example, was unnecessary. If the flight originated from Peoria, Ill., then you would have to add the state ID.

There are some cities, like Chicago, that almost never need a state name,, regardless.

Plus, if the quotes you used in this story were ones you gathered straight from the mouth of the sources, then capitalizing Daddy inside of quotes would have been improper. You can make changes to conform with AP Style with quotes spoken to you, since that would not change the meaning at all.

If these quotes came from a document, though, then you would have to stick with the literal text if used as a quote (but not if you change it to a paraphrase).

Please review AP style under cities and towns, and city, and datelines.

It's also important that you simplify terms for your readers. Some of you noted one of the passengers suffered lacerations. What is a laceration? It's a fancy word for a cut. So, why not say the passenger suffered cuts, then? Try to use layman's terms whenever you can.

Also, make sure that you adequately go over your information before you start writing and find any inconsistencies. How many of you noticed Alyssa was spelled two different ways? Not many of you asked which spelling was correct. And if you did notice but didn't seek clarification, you were in the wrong.

Don't assume anything. Maybe the girl spells her name an unusual way, but someone offering you the information thinks it's spelled the conventional way and passes on an error. If I decided the unusual spelling was the correct spelling, many of you would have fataled this assignment.

Don't assume. Check it out.

And try to find the best and most accurate words to use. One person's lede called the event a "potential crisis." Well, I would argue that a pilot passing out and forcing a kid to take control of a plane is a crisis. What was averted was a crisis turning into a disaster, right?

A couple of you said what was avoided was a "potential tragedy." I think that's far more accurate and correctly descriptive of the event.

Finally, don't overlook the obvious. One story failed to mention the time element until well into the story, and even then in offering a time, the story never said what day the incident took place!

A couple of other people were vague or late in saying where this happened: in Lansing.

Don't forget your 5 w's: who, what, when, where, why (and how). Make sure not only that you have those answered in your story, but that they are listed prominently as well.

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