Make sure you're being precise in what you say. Like with this lede:
A
family of three miraculously survived after being struck by a train
while failing to stop at a gate to make sure no train was approaching.
So, the family was hit by the train? Were they walking across the tracks?
No.
They were in a sport-utility vehicle that was struck by the train.
Problem is, your lede at best is fuzzy on that critical detail and at
worst misleading.
What you needed to say was, A family of three miraculously survived after their SUV was struck by a train
while failing to stop at a gate to make sure no train was approaching.
Plus, there's an important element missing from this lede: when it happened. When is critical to news, right?
So, let's plug in the date, which in this case was Monday: A family of three miraculously survived after their SUV was struck by a train
Monday while failing to stop at a gate to make sure no train was approaching.
Okay, now you're done.
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