School: Break Up Those Grafs!

In journalism, we generally try to write in very short paragraphs. What we try to do is limit a paragraph to one main idea OR one supporting idea OR one fact to support an idea. Not all of the above.

In general, that means many paragraphs will be just one or two sentences; the exact opposite of English comp writing styles that encourage massive paragraphs.

Let's look at this example of a mega-graf that can easily be cut up:

High school athletic director Hugh Baker told the board, “If safety is the issue of concern for the board, then our girls teams would have forfeit games if there are boys on the opposing teams." Last year alone the team would have had to forfeit 10 of the 18 games, therefore creating a losing record every year. Many think its very unfair, including Jacob Stevens. Stevens, a senior at ELHS said, “I don’t think it is fair. There are countries in the world where men’s field hockey is a recognized sport. Not every guy wants to play football, basketball, or baseball." Stevens was really looking forward to playing on the team his senior year.

Now, each unit of thought and each unit of supporting information has its own graf. It's easier for readers to pick out each independent thought or supporting fact. It's easier for editors to identify key points and supporting info, and find where such facts and info are lacking.

Okay, this single graf contains several elements: the first sentence is a quote from one source. The second sentence is a fact that provides evidence to support the quote's position. The third and fourth introduce and allow a quote from a second source. The final sentence offers a new level of detail that helps build upon the quote.

So, you can break this graf up into four separate grafs, like this:

High school athletic director Hugh Baker, told the board, “If safety is the issue of concern for the board, then our girls teams would have forfeit games if there are boys on the opposing teams."

Last year alone the team would have had to forfeit 10 of the 18 games, therefore creating a losing record every year.

Many think its very unfair, including Jacob Stevens. Stevens, a senior at ELHS said, “I don’t think it is fair. There are countries in the world where men’s field hockey is a recognized sport. Not every guy wants to play football, basketball, or baseball."

Stevens was really looking forward to playing on the team his senior year.

Now, each unit of thought or supporting bit of evidence has its own graf. Now, it's easier for readers to identify each key point, in the same way an outline allows readers to visualize key points in a text-heavy draft. Now, it's easier for editors to identify key points, or the lack thereof.

I know it's gonna look weird, given years and years of bad English comp habits that you've picked up. But this is how we write in journalism. It's a more practical style for writers, editors and readers.

And FYI, if you see on your graded assignments that I wrote an L-shaped symbol at the start of a sentence, that is the copy-editing symbol for starting a new graf.