Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Flip a lede?

This was one lede:

According to data gathered by the institute for Highway Safety, 16-year-old boys remain the most likely to crash their cars, but girls are gaining ground.

Very nice lede, but I'd argue the news (what the study found) is more important than the attribution. (who gathered the data). So I'd flip the sequencing of the lede, like this:

Sixteen-year-old boys remain the most likely to crash their cars, but girls are gaining ground, according to data gathered by the institute for Highway Safety.

I neither added nor subtracted any words from your original lede. I just flipped ther sequencing. Which one emphasized the news?

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