Tuesday, September 27, 2011

More Ledes: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

There's a problem with this lede:

Just moments before walking down the aisle, 22-year-old Scott Forsythe swerved his Ford Mustang to spare a dog's life, and lost his own.

Now, in many ways it's not a bad lede. It conveys the meaning fairly well. But what is incorrect -- a fatal, really -- is what it says: that Forsythe lost his life just moments before walking down the aisle.

Read that literally: it doesn't say moments before he was to walk down the aisle, it says a dead guy walked down the aisle, all "Weekend At Bernie's" style.

This lede go that point right:

An East Lansing man was killed in a car accident today at 8:45 a.m. while en route to the church where he was to be married 15 minutes later.

Make sure that you say what you mean, and that you mean what you say.

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