One of you did a bang-up job on your story. Nice lede, good nut graf, good story flow.
One problem, though: nowhere in the story did you way WHEN anything happened. No dates, no times.
You could have an otherwise-great story, but if it entirely misses a key element -- like any of the five W's -- then it's not a great story, or even a good one.
Don't overlook the obvious, folks!
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