Stats: A Good Alternate Lede

I've been very focused on you all doing basic journalism: a to-the-point lede, a strong nut graf, frequent attribution, and so forth.

But the goal isn't to write basic stories with basic ledes; it's to use the qualities of structure, simple and direct language, attribution and such to then reinstall creativity to our writing, so that we have something that is both fun to read AND fun to write; something that is engaging in style yet solid in journalistic principles.

I think this story -- and its alternate lede -- does a good job of marrying fundamentals and a fun-to-read style. Note how it's not creativity for creativity's sake; it's an artistic style entirely rooted in the facts you're trying to emphasize:  

It’s the device that changed the lives of many people.

It has become the go-to for information regarding the news, weather, research, latest celebrity gossip and much, much more.

What is it?

It’s the computer.

There has been a dramatic growth of computer ownership and Internet use in American households from the early 1980s until now, according to a survey conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau.

The U.S. Census Bureau conducted the survey as part of the Current Population Survey (CPS) on household computer ownership and Internet use by Americans.

The CPS is a large nationally representative survey of approximately 50,000 households conducted each month by the U.S. Census Bureau; this particular survey was conducted in October, said the survey.

The survey shows that since the early 1980s when computers first entered households, the number of households owning a computer has increased from 8.2 percent to 61.8 percent of 113.1 million American households.

According to the survey, of the 61.8 percent of households with computers, 54.7 percent access the Internet from home.

“Today, more than 76 percent of children ages 3 to 17 have access to a computer, as do 57 percent of all adults ages 18+,” said the survey.

Although computers and the Internet are becoming popular in the majority of American households, they aren’t for everyone.

According to the survey, of the 45.3 percent of households that don’t access the Internet but have computers, have a variety of reasons given for not connecting to the Internet.

A few main reasons given were having computers that are inadequate to access the Internet, people who felt they don’t need the Internet or weren’t interested in it, and the cost of the Internet was too high, said the survey.

The survey also said that many people don’t access the Internet because of a lack of time, lack of skill, language barriers, privacy and security concerns, and concerns about children accessing questionable material on the Internet.

Missing: Different Types of Lede/Nut Graf Combos

Most of you were direct and to the point in your ledes and then built upon that fact with a nut graf that helped answer questions created by the lede, like this:

In 2012 in Michigan alone, a total of 57,152 people were reported missing at one time or another, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Among the people missing are crime victims, runaway adolescents, people with Alzheimer's disease, distant parents, people who have tried to run away from their debt and people who have run away with lovers.

And that was fine. The lede established the basic premise of the story in a simple and direct manner. And then the nut graf that helped answer questions created by the lede, like, "why do they disappear?"


Some of you tried to take things a step further by looking at the basic fact AND a telling subfact, like, "who is it that disappears?":


Troubled youths and runaways make up for three-fourths of the 57,152 missing people reported in Michigan last year, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Out of Michigan's missing, 48,384 people were found with another 9,000 still missing. Police estimate that people missing involuntarily total no more than 100 in number.

Here, the nut graf expands on details by looking at how many of the 57,000 plus are still gone, and how many of those are gone against their will. It drills down into that 57,000-plus number a bit.

A few of you tried an anecdotal lede. This one had a lede that covered tw grafs offering a personal anecdote symbolic of the larger problem, and then the third (nut) graf hits on that broader problem in a tone that sounds like a traditional straight lede:

Sabrina, a 14-year-old East Lansing resident and former runaway juvenile, is just one of the thousands of Michigan residents who have been rediscovered after earlier being reported as missing.

When Sabrina's parents divorced, she skipped town and moved to New York t get away from an abusive stepfather. Sabrina was discovered two years after she was reported missing after New York City police picked her up for shoplifting and prostitution, said Sabrina, who spoke on the condition her last name not be used.

According to the U.S. Justice Department, of the 57,152 men, women and children reported missing in Michigan last year, nearly 9,000 remain missing. Three-fourths of Michigan's total missing persons last year were runaway juveniles.

Here's another ambitious anecdotal lede:

Fourteen-year-old Sabrina just needed to escape.

Escape from her parents' divorce.

Escape from her stepfather, who would get drunk and hit her mom.

Just escape.

Sabrina, who spoke on the condition her last name not be used, is among the 42,864 juveniles in Michigan who went missing last year, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Now, there's one way I think I could enhance these ledes, and that's with a telling quote from Sabrina that would help humanize the voice and perspective. In the case of an anecdotal lede, the best place for a telling quote is between the lede and nut graf, and not after the nut graf like in a more traditional approach.

Which lede/nut graf combos do you like, or hate? And why?

Squirrels: Ledes I Liked

A good number of good grades on this assignment. Good job, folks!

Additionally, you guys took different lede/nut graf approaches, offering a sampling of different ways to do the story. Here's a few examples. This first one was a basic lede/nut graf that did the job well. The lede summed up the problem; the nut graf detailed the consequences, and then you launch into the individual examples of squirrel-insipred woe:

         Lansing Community College officials are blaming squirrels for a recent run of car damage across campus.

 
          Students, teachers and staff members have faced repair bills amounting to hundreds of dollars after squirrels began nesting in their cars.


Here, you did an anecdotal lede that took several grafs before getting to the nut graf:

           For the past few weeks, Oliver Brookes couldn’t figure out why one headlight on his van refused to work.

           Despite having it replaced, the associate professor of English at Lansing Community College said he had continual problems with the headlight in his van. When he opened up the hood to poke around, he was greeted by more than just wires and machinery.

            “There was a big squirrel’s nest in the corner where the light wires were,” he said.

            Lately, squirrels have been causing quite the hassle for many LCC students and staff members by finding refuge under the hoods of cars.

In these next two, you had some fun with word play with fun alternate ledes followed by more to-the-point nut grafs:

         Nutty car problems have been occurring for the student body and faculty members of Lansing Community College this past school year.

          University officials have determined that squirrels are to blame for the issues students, teachers and staff members have been experiencing with their vehicles.

... and ... 

                  Problems with your car? A furry friend may be the cause.

                  College officials at Lansing Community College are blaming squirrels for car problems being had by students, teachers, and staff members. 

... and ...  

             Students, teachers, and staff members at Lansing Community College are going nuts courtesy of many problems caused by a familiar animal: the common squirrel.

             Officials at LCC are blaming squirrels for an influx of car problems affecting individuals who work at and attend the institution.

And these silly ledes are okay. Why? Because this is a silly story. It's not because of your writing preference; it's because the tone is true to the facts. And the facts are unexpected and weird and yes, silly.

As long as you let the facts dictate the tone, then you're doing it based not on opinion but on factual context.

Each of these ledes is a good, solid lede. But which ones do you think worked best? And why?

With each of these lede/nut graf sequences, the writers followed by offering the fact/quote sequences that we talked about earlier. So does this story -- which I will show you in its complete form -- that starts with an alternative lede, then goes to two nut grafs, then launches into the compartmentalized individual examples. This is a good structure which to aspire to:

       In Lansing, there is a new addition to the squirrel’s diet — electrical wires.

       The squirrels on Lansing Community College’s campus have been making homes and feeding on the electrical wires in cars on campus.

       The damage from the squirrels is costing students and staff money to replace ruined wires.

       LCC dietitian Linda Kasparov said an attendant at a service station found a squirrel’s nest as the cause of broken a oil-pressure gauge, speedometer and headlights on Kasparov’s car.

        “The attendant put up the hood and then jumped back exclaiming, ‘My God, what have you got in there!’” Kasparov said.

       Kasparov said the attendant found three baby squirrels in a nest built of string, sticks and plastic bags. 

       Kasparov said the damage cost her more than $400.

       Laura Ruffenboch, a wildlife professor at LCC, said the soybean-based insulation on many electrical wires may be appealing to the squirrels.

        Ruffenboch said squirrels building nests in a car which is used regularly is an uncommon phenomenon.

       Oliver Brookes, an associate professor of English at LCC, also said he found a squirrel’s nest under the hood of his car.

       “There was a big squirrels nest in the corner where the light wires were,” Brookes said.

       Brookes said the squirrels chewed through the headlight wiring in his car, which cost more than $180 to replace.

Robbery: The Peanut Barrel Rule, Revisited

There were plenty of decent ledes in the "robbery" exercise you did. You made some good decisions on how to best use the space you were allotted in creating the highest and best ledes possible.

But some were better than others. Let's look at this one:

A 22-year-old college student was fired from his job for having a gun in the store against company policy.


This is factually correct. And it does go to end result in one sense; that he got fired. But it missed end result in another sense: that a man was killed. And it fails to grasp context: not just that he was fired for having a gun, but that he was fired for having a gun that he used to kill a man while defending himself.


Think about the Peanut Barrel rule: would you first tell friends that a man was fired for having a gun at work, or that he was fired for having a gun at work that he used to save his own life?


In that sense, even this lede fell short:

A convenience store clerk shot and killed a man who attempted an armed robbery yesterday in Haslett.


Is what makes this story unique and different from other robbery stories in this lede? I think not. It's missing what the first lede had: consequence for the clerk.

Again, let's think about a Peanut Barrel situation. You wouldn't tell your friends, "The cops found some dead dude" or "A dude lost his job because he brought a gun to work" or just "Some guy shot and killed a robber." You'd be all like, "Yeah, this dude killed another dude robbing a store, but the victim lost his job for having a gun at work!"

It's the combination of those things that makes this story stand out. Here's one lede/nut graf combo that's along those lines:

A robbery at O-Mart late Sunday ended with a dead robber and a fired store clerk.

Michael Layoux was working at the O-Mart at Haslett when around 11 p.m. an individual came in to rob the store. Layoux shot and killed the robber, who was later identified as Robert Wiess.


Here's another really strong lede/nut graf combo that gets it all in:

A Lansing Community College student was fired from his clerk's job this morning after the district manager of O-Mart deemed his possession of a gun that potentially saved his life was against company policy.

Michael Layoux, 22, was the single employee working at the O-Mart at 1248 E. Forest Boulevard in Haslett Sunday evening when Robert Wiess entered the store and demanded Layoux empty the cash register while holding him at gunpoint.

After emptying the register, Layoux said he grabbed his .25-caliber pistol from under the counter and shot Wiess three times.


Still, I think I could top those ledes. I think I'd hit hard on the connection between saving his life and losing his job. If I decided to go straight with little color, I'd do this:

A Haslett convenience store clerk won't face charges for shooting and killing a would-be robber, but he lost his job for violating company rules of possessing handguns on the job.


Or if I wanted to get a bit colorful:

The same actions that allowed Michael Layoux to save his own life also cost him his job.


. . . or . . .

Michael Layoux didn't break the law when he shot and killed a robber last night. But he did break a company rule, and that will cost him his job.

How do my ledes adhere to the Peanut Barrel rule? Which works best, and why? Your turn to critique me.

JRN 200: The Body Of A News Story

The most basic story structures are very specific in style yet simple in design. So let's look an imaginary story done in a basic news style, starting with what you already know -- the lede:

School was canceled forever today after a 43-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.

The lede is usually followed by what is called the nut graf. The role of that paragraph is to elaborate and expand upon the details of the lede.

Consider the general identifiers posed in the lede: an unnamed instructor, an unnamed school, an unspecified big-money lottery ect. Try to follow up on those generalities with specifics in the nut graf, like this:

Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.

That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.

In journalism, we try to keep paragraphs fairly short -- usually limited to one main point or idea per graf, and/or one or two sentences per graf. In this case, I thought the nut graf was running a bit long, so I split it into two grafs.

We try to keep paragraphs short and specific for two big reasons: one, to make it easy for the reader to identify key points and specific quotes and such; and two, to make it easy for editors to do the same so they can more quickly edit the story by easily finding what may be worth emphasis or cutting out.

The point after the nut graf is a great place to consider putting in a telling quote; something that goes to the heart of the story's theme or context or ultimate meaning. Something like this:

"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.

At this point, the lede/nut graf/key quote package creates sort of a mini-story. In the same way the lede gives you the bare minimum of what you need to know about the story, this grouping of grafs gives readers the minimum amount of information AND supporting detail and evidence.

From this point on, you have a couple of options: you can add more supporting facts and quotes, in descending order of importance. This is called the inverted pyramid style of story organization. You start with the most important piece of background, then the next most important, and so on. Like with short paragraphs, it allows for faster reading and editing. Like this:

Sofradzija, who has been making just $2 an hour teaching an introduction-to-journalism class, said he plans to never teach again.

"Seriously, eff those little brats," he said.

But a number of students said that losing Sofradzija as an instructor has sapped their will to learn.

"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.

Sofradzija said he did not know what exactly he's spend his fortune on, but he promised it would be something stupid.

Notice how pieces of telling information are paired up with quotes supporting, amplifying and humanizing that raw data. It's not necessary that every graf of info is followed by a related quote, but it does help in reinforcing the points that are made throughout a story.

Also, please note attribution is liberally used throughout the story, in every graf after the lede. That's for the benefit of readers, who get to see exactly where you get each bit of information that supports the original claim you make in your lede. Not only are you transparent, but you essentially rely on the expertise of your sources by citing them, building your credibility.

Another approach is to offer a chronological telling, looking at things from the start. It's important that you weigh the facts you have and the context of the story to decide if an inverted pyramid, chronology or some other method best tells the story. Like this:

Events quickly began to unfold around 8 p.m. Monday, when Sofradzija was named the Amazeballs winner. His resignation was submitted to MSU by 6 a.m. Tuesday, school officials said.

"Seriously, eff those little brats," Sofradzija said.

Word quickly swirled around campus of Sofradzija's departure, with students walking out of their classes em masse throughout the day Tuesday, school officials said.

"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.

University leaders met that night before making the cancellation of the semester official at 8 a.m. today, officials said.

And that's it. Notice how the story seems to end sort of abruptly. Looks weird, right? Well, in journalism that's okay is your story lacks what writers call a satisfying ending. Why is this okay? Because you already have an ending: your lede.

Now that we looked at these two structures in pieces, let's put it all together and look at the pieces as stories. First, the inverted pyramid:

School was canceled forever today after a 43-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.

Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.

That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.

"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.

Sofradzija, who has been making just $2 an hour teaching an introduction-to-journalism class, said he plans to never teach again.

"Seriously, eff those little brats," he said.

But a number of students said that losing Sofradzija as an instructor has sapped their will to learn.

"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.

Sofradzija said he did not know what exactly he's spend his fortune on, but he promised it would be something stupid.

*****

Now, the chronological style:

*****

School was canceled forever today after a 43-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.

Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.

That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.

"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.

Events quickly began to unfold around 8 p.m. Monday, when Sofradzija was named the Amazeballs winner. His resignation was submitted to MSU by 6 a.m. Tuesday, school officials said.

"Seriously, eff those little brats," Sofradzija said.

Word quickly swirled around campus of Sofradzija's departure, with students walking out of their classes em masse throughout the day Tuesday, school officials said.

"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.

University leaders met that night before making the cancellation of the semester official at 8 a.m. today, officials said.

Now, which is the best structure to use: inverted pyramid or chronology? Again, it depends on what best tells the story.

If you're writing about something complex where impact and meaning doesn't necessarily happen in sequence -- like a tuition increase or comparing on-campus and off-campus housing -- then structuring things based on an analyzed importance may be the way to go.

But of the story you're looking into naturally and dramatically unfolds in order -- like a bank robbery or 9/11 -- then a chronology probably works best.

A lot of it depends on what kind of facts you dig up while reporting. Note in each approach, some facts get greater or lesser emphasis, and some facts get entirely left out. You should think about which approach best uses the most important, relevant, interesting and useful facts. Whichever does is probably the highest and best approach to take.

Let me be clear, though: these are NOT the only two story structure options you have. As you've read in the book and probably noticed in your newspaper readings, there are endless ways to write ledes and detail nut grafs and add quotes and cascade facts throughout a story.

You're first and foremost looking for the best way to tell a story, based on what makes meaning and context and accuracy clear and easy to follow.

These are just two basic ways to do that. Master this, and then start practicing other ways.

Alt Ledes: Ledes I Liked

... included ...

What was supposed to be the happiest day of 22-year-old Scott Forsythe's life turned into tragedy.

... and ... 

Trying his best to make it to his 9 a.m. wedding on time, Scott Forsythe's special day came to a fatal end.

... and ...


During a financial crisis, city officials decided it is time for the bad guys to start paying for their actions. Literally.

... and ...

Getting taken downtown by the police in East Lansing will now cost you more than just your time and dignity.

... and ...

America's grasslands could soon become America's pride lands if an idea crafted by lead scientists at Michigan State University and other collaborating institutions comes into fruition.

This next led stretched out over a couple of paragraphs, ahead of a presumed nut graf we don't see:

Most Americans go to the zoo if they ever want to see African wildlife, but what if African wildlife was brought to the Great Plains of North America?

If a group of biologists and ecologists from Michigan State University succeed with their relocation plan, that's exactly what will happen.

Now, which do you like? Why or why not?

Alt Ledes: Good Lede/Nut Graf Combos

In this exercise, you were asked to do just a lede, with no subsequent paragraph. But some of you did ledes that in essence acted as a combination alternate lede/subsequent nut graf, combined into a single graf.

What I did was split some of these ledes as follows, so you can see a concept we talked about earlier: that when you do a unique and contextual alternate lede, it is usually followed by a nut graf that sounds more like a traditional lede, fills in the specific blanks left by your general contextual lede, and offers a strong transition to the body of the story.

Let's look at a few examples:

Taxpayers in East Lansing will probably be happy to hear the term "cost of crime" is about to take on a new meaning.

East Lansing police chief Barry Kopperrud announced that the police department would begin charging arrestees a $25 fee for the process of taking their mug shots and fingerprints.

Now, the lede sets context, with the "cost of crime" meaning change. And the nut graf fills in the details of the lede, by detailing what the change is: that arrestees will be charged a $25 processing fee.

Same with this lede/nut graf combo: 

East Lansing needs money, and you can help. Want to know how? Get arrested.

The city is imposing a $25 fee, effective immediately, to every person who gets arrested and has his or her fingerprints and mug shot taken.

When we do alternate ledes, the nut graf will read very much like a basic lede.

Here's another decent one:

For Megan Perakiss, the 6-month-old daughter of Michael and Ethel Perakiss, Wednesday afternoon was a dangerous adventure.

She was in the back seat of a sport-utility vehicle which was carjacked by a man who had just robbed a nearby convenience store after 2 p.m. on Michigan Avenue. Fortunately, about 40 minutes after a search had begun, police found Megan Perakiss safe in the vehicle, which was abandoned in the parking lot of a Chinese restaurant.

And one more:

For 6-month-old Megan Perakiss, it was an ordeal she might never remember, but it's one her parents won't ever forget.

Police were "shocked but pleased" that n harm came to Perakiss after the car she was sitting in was stolen by an armed robber outside a local convenience store, although the robber is still on the loose.

Alt Ledes: Contextual, Or Too Casual?

With an alternate lede, we certainly want to set context, whether through an anecdote, an observation and/or word play. That's the purpose of an alternate lede; not just to say what happened, but how and why it matters and what greater meaning results from the action.

That means we have to make judgment calls on what is appropriate and what goes over the line in amplifying that context. Let's consider these ledes:

Cold feet is often a symptom of pre-ceremonial wedding jitters; however, the lead foot of 22-year-old Scott Forsythe resulted in tragedy this morning.

... and...

After the time and money spent to plan a wedding, the Howard and Forsythe families will need to plan for a funeral.

... and ...

Scott Forsythe was tragically in too much of a hurry to get married.

The 22-year-old was speeding over 100 mph to the church where he was to be married when he swerved off the road and was killed.

... and ...

"Until death do us part" is usually a phrase people say at the end of a weeding ceremony to seal the life-long commitment of marriage.

For 22-year-old Scott Forsythe, his death came 15 minutes before his chance to speak those words to his fiancee, Sara Howard.

... and ...

They say a man's life is over once they marry the woman they fell in love with.

For 22-year-old Scott Forsythe, his life ended 15 minutes before his wedding was set to take place.

Whaddya think? Fair or foul? I go back and forth on these two. Let's discuss.

Alt Ledes: Don't Assume!

Like in this lede:

There are many fears that go through a bride's mind before their wedding. For Sara Howard, she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church.

Now, it's structurally fine. But the question I have is, how do you know she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church?

In the information you were given, you have no indication whether she wasn't worried, or that her fiancee was a shitty driver who had her constantly terrified with his lead foot.

Here, we went beyond the information you had, and made an assumption. We were being creative based on our guessing, not the facts. And we can't do that.

Now, as a journalist you would have been correct to find out if she ever though she'd have to worry about her fiancee's driving. And if she answered yes, then this lede would be perfect.

But we need to confirm the facts first.

Alt Ledes: The Peanut Barrel Rule

There's nothing wrong with this lede. But it's still missing something. Here it is:

A 22-year-old man was killed in a car accident earlier this morning after veering to avoid a dog in the road, according to police.

Technically, it's correct. But let's think about the Peanut Barrel rule. If you wrote this story for The State News and then headed down to the Peanut Barrel to meet friends for a legal drink or two afterward, and then they asked you what you wrote about today, what would you say? More importantly, what would be first to come out of your mouth?

"Uh, well I wrote something abut a dude who got killed when he swerved his car to miss a doggie in the road."

I don't think so. What I think you'd say would be something like this:

"Dude, this was so effed up I don't believe it! Some guy was driving his car all crazy fast so he could make it to his wedding, but he CRASHED and DIED! On his WEDDING DAY! Soo effed up."

I really do think you'd certainly include the wedding angle. That's what made this crash unique and especially poignant and tragic.

If it's a fact or angle that would pass the Peanut Barrel test, then it's a good fact or angle for a lede. If your proposed lede doesn't pass Peanut Barrel muster, then try again until it does.

Again, I can't say your lede was incorrect. Clearly, it passes factual muster. But is it really complete? No. It misses context, like calling 9/11 just a plane crash.

Let's look at this lede: does it meet the Peanut Barrel rule?

A Quik Shoppe robbery and carjacking took place just seconds apart. No one was killed, and the robber got away.

Now, you tell me what you think.

Alt Ledes: Say What You Mean!

What is wrong with this lede?

To save the life of a dog, 22-year-old Scott Forsythe lost his life in a car crash just 15 minutes before his wedding this morning.

If you read this lede literally, it's this: you're saying this man died 15 minutes before his wedding. You're suggesting his wedding took place (all "Weekend at Bernie's"-style, perhaps).

But that's not what you meant. What you meant was, he died 15 minutes before his wedding was to take place this morning.

If that's what you meant, then that's what you should have written.

Make sure you say what you mean, and mean what you say. Don't leave room for any misinterpretations. Be precise.

Alt Ledes: Did You Need The Name?

In your ledes, some of you referred to the car accident victim specifically -- Scott Forsythe -- while others referred to him in the generic -- 22-year-old local man, or something to that effect.

While neither is wrong, I'd say the latter is the best approach. You have no reason to believe Forsythe is someone that would be known by name to your readers. In such cases, the generic identifier would suffice in a first reference, and you can offer the specific name as a secondary detail later in the story.

Now, if the victim was Oprah Winfrey, the name would be a good bet for the lede, precisely because she is someone many people would instantly recognize by name.

Missing: Different Types of Lede/Nut Graf Combos

Most of you were direct and to the point in your ledes and then built upon that fact with a nut graf that helped answer questions created by the lede, like this:

In 2011 in Michigan alone, a total of 57,152 people were reported missing at one time or another, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Among the people missing are crime victims, runaway adolescents, people with Alzheimer's disease, distant parents, people who have tried to run away from their debt and people who have run away with lovers.

And that was fine. The lede established the basic premise of the story in a simple and direct manner. And then the nut graf that helped answer questions created by the lede, like, "why do they disappear?"


Some of you tried to take things a step further by looking at the basic fact AND a telling subfact, like, "who is it that disappears?":


Troubled youths and runaways make up for three-fourths of the 57,152 missing people reported in Michigan last year, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Out of Michigan's missing, 48,384 people were found with another 9,000 still missing. Police estimate that people missing involuntarily total no more than 100 in number.

Here, the nut graf expands on details by looking at how many of the 57,000 plus are still gone, and how many of those are gone against their will. It drills down into that 57,000-plus number a bit.

A few of you tried an anecdotal lede. This one had a lede that covered tw grafs offering a personal anecdote symbolic of the larger problem, and then the third (nut) graf hits on that broader problem in a tone that sounds like a traditional straight lede:

Sabrina, a 14-year-old East Lansing resident and former runaway juvenile, is just one of the thousands of Michigan residents who have been rediscovered after earlier being reported as missing.

When Sabrina's parents divorced, she skipped town and moved to New York t get away from an abusive stepfather. Sabrina was discovered two years after she was reported missing after New York City police picked her up for shoplifting and prostitution, said Sabrina, who spoke on the condition her last name not be used.

According to the U.S. Justice Department, of the 57,152 men, women and children reported missing in Michigan last year, nearly 9,000 remain missing. Three-fourths of Michigan's total missing persons last year were runaway juveniles.

Here's another ambitious anecdotal lede:

Fourteen-year-old Sabrina just needed to escape.

Escape from her parents' divorce.

Escape from her stepfather, who would get drunk and hit her mom.

Just escape.

Sabrina, who spoke on the condition her last name not be used, is among the 42,864 juveniles in Michigan who went missing last year, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Now, there's one way I think I could enhance these ledes, and that's with a telling quote from Sabrina that would help humanize the voice and perspective. In the case of an anecdotal lede, the best place for a telling quote is between the lede and nut graf, and not after the nut graf like in a more traditional approach.

Which lede/nut graf combos do you like, or hate? And why?

Squirrels: Ledes I Liked

The good news with the squirrels exercise is, no fatals! Congrats to all.

Additionally, you guys took different lede/nut graf approaches, offering a sampling of different ways to do the story. Here's a few examples. This first one was a basic lede/nut graf that did the job well. The lede summed up the problem; the nut graf detailed the consequences, and then you launch into the individual examples of squirrel-insipred woe:

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         Lansing Community College officials are blaming squirrels for a recent run of car damage across campus.

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          Students, teachers and staff members have faced repair bills amounting to hundreds of dollars after squirrels began nesting in their cars.


Here, you did an anecdotal lede that took several grafs before getting to the nut graf:


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           For the past few weeks, Oliver Brookes couldn’t figure out why one headlight on his van refused to work.

Despite having it replaced, the associate professor of English at Lansing Community College said he had continual problems with the headlight in his van. When he opened up the hood to poke around, he was greeted by more than just wires and machinery.

            “There was a big squirrel’s nest in the corner where the light wires were,” he said.

            Lately, squirrels have been causing quite the hassle for many LCC students and staff members by finding refuge under the hoods of cars.

In these next two, you had some fun with word play with fun alternate ledes followed by more to-the-point nut grafs:

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         Nutty car problems have been occurring for the student body and faculty members of Lansing Community College this past school year.

          University officials have determined that squirrels are to blame for the issues students, teachers and staff members have been experiencing with their vehicles.

... and ... 

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                  Problems with your car? A furry friend may be the cause.

                  College officials at Lansing Community College are blaming squirrels for car problems being had by students, teachers, and staff members. 

... and ...  

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             Students, teachers, and staff members at Lansing Community College are going nuts courtesy of many problems caused by a familiar animal: the common squirrel.

             Officials at LCC are blaming squirrels for an influx of car problems affecting individuals who work at and attend the institution.

And these silly ledes are okay. Why? Because this is a silly story. It's not because of your writing preference; it's because the tone is true to the facts. And the facts are unexpected and weird and yes, silly.

As long as you let the facts dictate the tone, then you're doing it based not on opinion but on factual context.

Each of these ledes is a good, solid lede. But which ones do you think worked best? And why?

With each of these lede/nut graf sequences, the writers followed by offering the fact/quote sequences that we talked about earlier. So does this story -- which I will show you in its complete form -- that starts with an alternative lede, then goes to two nut grafs, then launches into the compartmentalized individual examples. This is a good structure which to aspire to:

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       In Lansing, there is a new addition to the squirrel’s diet — electrical wires.

       The squirrels on Lansing Community College’s campus have been making homes and feeding on the electrical wires in cars on campus.

       The damage from the squirrels is costing students and staff money to replace ruined wires.

       LCC dietitian Linda Kasparov said an attendant at a service station found a squirrel’s nest as the cause of broken a oil-pressure gauge, speedometer and headlights on Kasparov’s car.

        “The attendant put up the hood and then jumped back exclaiming, ‘My God, what have you got in there!’” Kasparov said.

       Kasparov said the attendant found three baby squirrels in a nest built of string, sticks and plastic bags. 

       Kasparov said the damage cost her more than $400.

       Laura Ruffenboch, a wildlife professor at LCC, said the soybean-based insulation on many electrical wires may be appealing to the squirrels.

        Ruffenboch said squirrels building nests in a car which is used regularly is an uncommon phenomenon.

       Oliver Brookes, an associate professor of English at LCC, also said he found a squirrel’s nest under the hood of his car.

       “There was a big squirrels nest in the corner where the light wires were,” Brookes said.

       Brookes said the squirrels chewed through the headlight wiring in his car, which cost more than $180 to replace.

Alt Ledes: Ledes I Liked

Everyone did at least fine on this assignment, some by sticking to basic ledes, and others by trying alternative ledes.

Since you seem to have the former down pat, we'll look at the latter. Off we go:

Arrested? Prepare for a mug shot, fingerprints, and a $25 service charge.

It's basic and to-the-point, yet still a bit creative in terms of the question lede. It makes it sound a bit more conversational. So did this one:

In an attempt to cure East Lansing's financial troubles, committing a crime now csts offenders more than the humiliation of an arrest.


These next two one looked at the topic from a similarly-practical angle; what you may see as a result of the news:

Lions, elephants and giraffes may soon be found roaming a lot closer to home, as ecologists and biologists want to transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America.

... and ...

While driving across the Great Plains of North America, how would you feel about looking out the car window and seeing giraffes, lions and elephants?


These next two went straight to context:

What could have been the happiest day of Scott Forsythe's life turned fatal after he was killed in a car accident driving 100 mph on the way to his own wedding.

... and ...

Just 15 minutes before 22-year-old Scott Forsythe was scheduled to say "I do," a decision to save a dog's life took his own.

Now, which ones do you like, and why? Which ones don't you like, and how come?

Alt Ledes: What A Nut Graf Looks Like

In this exercise, you were asked to do just a lede, with no subsequent paragraph. But some of you did ledes that in essence acted as a combination alternate lede/subsequent nut graf, combined into a single graf.

What I did was split some of these ledes as follows, so you can see a concept we talked about earlier: that when you do a unique and contextual alternate lede, it is usually followed by a nut graf that sounds more like a traditional lede, fills in the specific blanks left by your general contextual lede, and offers a strong transition to the body of the story.

Let's look at a few examples:

Freedom might not be free, but neither is detainment.

Police chief Barry Kopperrud is proposing cost cuts for the city, starting with a $25 service fee for incoming criminals.

The lede nicely sets context, then the nut graf explains the details behind the context.

Next:

It looks like someone's been thinking on the wild side!

A group of scientists are interested in a project that would transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America.

The lede has fun with an odd concept, that of bringing Africa to America. So you reveled in the fun in the lede, then explained what was so unique in the nut graf.


Then, there's this:

Typically, 'til death do us part doesn't apply until after the wedding.

Scott Forsythe, 22, died in a high-speed accident around 8:45 this morning on Kirkmann Road after veering to avoid a dog. Forsythe was less than a mile away from the church where he was to be married today.

Certainly, the lede is creative, contextual and accurate. But let me ask you guys this: is it a bit too flippant and casual in noting the irony? Let's discuss.