Yep. You sure are. But what does it mean in terms of my final grade?
This is how it breaks down:
The graded in-class practice story you took Wednesday was the first of 20 such exercises. Each equals only one-half of one percent of your final grade. So if you did poorly in this one, don't fret. You will have many opportunities to bury a bad grade. If you did great, don't start coasting yet. You still have a long way to go.
A test story -- like the one you will take today -- is weighed much heavier. Today's will be the first of four, with each constituting five percent of your final grade. The test stories are aimed at seeing what you learned -- and the lessons you apply -- from your practice stories.
Then you will take the skills from all that and show me what you can do in your out-of-class stories, like the one for which a tip sheet was due today. You will have four such stories over teh course of the semester, with each worth 10 percent of your final grade.
Because you are still in the process of learning and refining skills, I will allow you to rewrite the first two out-of-class stories, where you will have the chance to fix any mechanical, style, factual, structural and/or reporting shortfalls. Your rewrite grade will serve as two-thirds of the assignment grade, and your original grade will be one-third. (If you do a rewrite, your final grade will never be any lower than your original grade. If you do a rewrite, your grade can only stay the same or go up!).
So, if you do all the math, you see that at the end of today 94 percent of your final grade will have yet to be determined.
We still have a long way to go, folks. And you have plenty of opportunities to get the final grade you desire.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Ledes I liked
And there were plenty that I liked! Here's a few:
A six-month old infant was found unharmed this afternoon in an East Lansing parking lot, 40 minutes after a man carjacked the vehicle she was in.
. . . and . . .
Ever wanted to go on a safari? Well, the safari could be coming to you under a plan developed by scientists to bring African wildlife to the Great Plains.
. . . and . . .
All ended well when East Lansing police quickly recovered a stolen vehicle that was carjacked with a child still in the backseat Wednesday afternoon.
. . . and . . .
How would you feel driving through the Great Plains and seeing a pride of lions on the prairie? A group of Michigan State University ecologists and biologists want to make this a reality.
. . . and . . .
Six-month-old Megan Perakiss went on quite an adventure Wednesday afternoon when a robber carjacked her parent's vehicle while she was still in the back seat.
Which did you like? Or hate? And why?
A six-month old infant was found unharmed this afternoon in an East Lansing parking lot, 40 minutes after a man carjacked the vehicle she was in.
. . . and . . .
Ever wanted to go on a safari? Well, the safari could be coming to you under a plan developed by scientists to bring African wildlife to the Great Plains.
. . . and . . .
All ended well when East Lansing police quickly recovered a stolen vehicle that was carjacked with a child still in the backseat Wednesday afternoon.
. . . and . . .
How would you feel driving through the Great Plains and seeing a pride of lions on the prairie? A group of Michigan State University ecologists and biologists want to make this a reality.
. . . and . . .
Six-month-old Megan Perakiss went on quite an adventure Wednesday afternoon when a robber carjacked her parent's vehicle while she was still in the back seat.
Which did you like? Or hate? And why?
Oh, crap. A fatal.
Sorry to say we had our first (and almost certainly not the last) of the semester. Here was the lede:
In hopes of saving African wildlife from becoming extinct, a group of 30 Michigan State University scientists have come up with an idea to transplant these species into the Great Plains.
Structurally and stylistically, this was a great lede. It may have been among the highest-graded ledes if not for the claim that it was 30 MSU scientists driving the plan.
That was not so. This was what the text said on p. 196:
A group of ecologists and biologists at your university AND OTHER SCHOOLS . . . (emphasis mine).
I know it seems small. But we're in the getting it right business. This is a fatal.
Make sure you are paying attention to detail and that you accurately report the facts as you have them. Close isn't good enough.
The good news is, this assignment is just one-half of one percent of your final grade. This is easy to overcome, as long as fatals don't become a habit. So double-check your work and make sure you understand the precise meaning of what you are writing.
Make sure you say what you mean, and you mean what you say.
In hopes of saving African wildlife from becoming extinct, a group of 30 Michigan State University scientists have come up with an idea to transplant these species into the Great Plains.
Structurally and stylistically, this was a great lede. It may have been among the highest-graded ledes if not for the claim that it was 30 MSU scientists driving the plan.
That was not so. This was what the text said on p. 196:
A group of ecologists and biologists at your university AND OTHER SCHOOLS . . . (emphasis mine).
I know it seems small. But we're in the getting it right business. This is a fatal.
Make sure you are paying attention to detail and that you accurately report the facts as you have them. Close isn't good enough.
The good news is, this assignment is just one-half of one percent of your final grade. This is easy to overcome, as long as fatals don't become a habit. So double-check your work and make sure you understand the precise meaning of what you are writing.
Make sure you say what you mean, and you mean what you say.
What's missing from these ledes?
I'm thinking of something really basic . . .
After her mother was carjacked at a local convenience store with her baby inside the vehicle, police were delighted to find the car and the baby in a parking lot, unharmed.
. . . and . . .
A 6-month-old child was found safe in East Lansing after a thief robbed a convenience store and stole the SUV the child was in while the mother finished pumping gas.
After her mother was carjacked at a local convenience store with her baby inside the vehicle, police were delighted to find the car and the baby in a parking lot, unharmed.
. . . and . . .
A 6-month-old child was found safe in East Lansing after a thief robbed a convenience store and stole the SUV the child was in while the mother finished pumping gas.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Little things!
But they still get on my nerves . . .
Make sure your slug is correct! All lower case. Don't put slug: in front of it. Make sure you're not confusing slugs between different assignments.
If everybody has the exact same slug in the email subject line, then all the emails chain together and there's less of a chance that I will lose track of your email and forget to grade you -- or worse, believe you failed to turn in an assignment!
Also, make sure you title the Word document in which you write! That means putting your name, slug and date in the upper left-hand corner of the actual Word document! If there is no title, after I print out your assignment I won't know who it is from.
Finally, make sure you're double-spacing your work! I need to be able to fit comments into the margins and between lines, so please give me some room with which to do that. Feedback is how you improve in this class; you don't want to limit my feedback, do you?
Make sure your slug is correct! All lower case. Don't put slug: in front of it. Make sure you're not confusing slugs between different assignments.
If everybody has the exact same slug in the email subject line, then all the emails chain together and there's less of a chance that I will lose track of your email and forget to grade you -- or worse, believe you failed to turn in an assignment!
Also, make sure you title the Word document in which you write! That means putting your name, slug and date in the upper left-hand corner of the actual Word document! If there is no title, after I print out your assignment I won't know who it is from.
Finally, make sure you're double-spacing your work! I need to be able to fit comments into the margins and between lines, so please give me some room with which to do that. Feedback is how you improve in this class; you don't want to limit my feedback, do you?
Is this . . .
. . . a lede, or a lede and nut graf smushed together?
Your mother was right when she said college would pay off someday. College graduates can expect to earn over $1 million more throughout their lifetime than workers with just a high school education.
Your mother was right when she said college would pay off someday. College graduates can expect to earn over $1 million more throughout their lifetime than workers with just a high school education.
Some ledes I liked
Simply warning your child never to play with guns is ineffective, a recent study conducted by two Michigan State University researchers concluded.
. . . and . . .
Is simply telling your children never to play with guns enough to keep them safe? A study done by two Michigan State University researchers says no.
. . . and . . .
Police are still searching for the Brinks driver who may have stolen $400,000 yesterday afternoon during a routine pick-up.
. . . and . . .
A scared thief called polcie last night after he discovered a dead body in the back of the van he stole.
. . . and . . .
The Census Bureau conducted a survey last year that proves knowledge might indeed be power.
. . . and . . .
Suspects who have their mug shots and fingerprints taken are now required to pay a $25 fee for the service, city officials announced today.
. . . and . . .
Those who stay in school longer and receive a higher education can expect to earn more in their lifetime than those with less education, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
. . . and . . .
Crime never pays, but criminals now have to pay $25 for their mug shots and fingerprints.
. . . and . . .
A car thief stole more than he expected when he found a dead body in the back of the van he stole Thursday night.
. . . and . . .
In the midst of a financial crisis, the city has turned to criminals to make more money, announcing today they will be charged $25 for their mug shots and fingerprints.
. . . and . . .
An attempt to steal a cargo van on New Orleans Avenue last night went awry when the thief realized he had an unusual passenger.
Nice work here, folks!
. . . and . . .
Is simply telling your children never to play with guns enough to keep them safe? A study done by two Michigan State University researchers says no.
. . . and . . .
Police are still searching for the Brinks driver who may have stolen $400,000 yesterday afternoon during a routine pick-up.
. . . and . . .
A scared thief called polcie last night after he discovered a dead body in the back of the van he stole.
. . . and . . .
The Census Bureau conducted a survey last year that proves knowledge might indeed be power.
. . . and . . .
Suspects who have their mug shots and fingerprints taken are now required to pay a $25 fee for the service, city officials announced today.
. . . and . . .
Those who stay in school longer and receive a higher education can expect to earn more in their lifetime than those with less education, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
. . . and . . .
Crime never pays, but criminals now have to pay $25 for their mug shots and fingerprints.
. . . and . . .
A car thief stole more than he expected when he found a dead body in the back of the van he stole Thursday night.
. . . and . . .
In the midst of a financial crisis, the city has turned to criminals to make more money, announcing today they will be charged $25 for their mug shots and fingerprints.
. . . and . . .
An attempt to steal a cargo van on New Orleans Avenue last night went awry when the thief realized he had an unusual passenger.
Nice work here, folks!
Flip a lede?
This was one lede:
According to data gathered by the institute for Highway Safety, 16-year-old boys remain the most likely to crash their cars, but girls are gaining ground.
Very nice lede, but I'd argue the news (what the study found) is more important than the attribution. (who gathered the data). So I'd flip the sequencing of the lede, like this:
Sixteen-year-old boys remain the most likely to crash their cars, but girls are gaining ground, according to data gathered by the institute for Highway Safety.
I neither added nor subtracted any words from your original lede. I just flipped ther sequencing. Which one emphasized the news?
According to data gathered by the institute for Highway Safety, 16-year-old boys remain the most likely to crash their cars, but girls are gaining ground.
Very nice lede, but I'd argue the news (what the study found) is more important than the attribution. (who gathered the data). So I'd flip the sequencing of the lede, like this:
Sixteen-year-old boys remain the most likely to crash their cars, but girls are gaining ground, according to data gathered by the institute for Highway Safety.
I neither added nor subtracted any words from your original lede. I just flipped ther sequencing. Which one emphasized the news?
Is this an assumption . . .
. . . or an obvious truth?
We all know that 16-year-old male drivers can be risky business. However, 16-year-old female drivers are becoming just as dangerous . . .
What about here?
The results of a startling psychologists' study today shows . . .
(And if that's fair word use, what is startling? The study or the results?)
We all know that 16-year-old male drivers can be risky business. However, 16-year-old female drivers are becoming just as dangerous . . .
What about here?
The results of a startling psychologists' study today shows . . .
(And if that's fair word use, what is startling? The study or the results?)
More fatals
Among the reasons:
>>> You misinterpreted the information given
Police are on the lookout for Brinks truck driver Neil Santana, who is suspected of robbing a supermarket yesterday in Lansing . . .
. . . and . . .
. . . no longer are 16-year-old boys recognized as the most risky drivers, but girls 16 years of age have taken the lead.
Make sure you understand what you are writing about BEFORE you start writing! If you're not sure, seek further explanation from your sources!
>>> You put in faulty numbers
. . . denied a local woman permission to bury her husband of 82 years . . .
This just requires simple double-checking of numbers, spellings, ect.
>>> You misstated facts
. . . the local jail will begin charging a fee to criminals that will cover the full cost of their arrest and incarceration.
That goes well beyond the information you were given.
Avoiding fatals does not require an Ivy League education. Make sure you understand what you are writing; look for typos after you're done writing; stick to the facts and avoid making assumptions for which you have no hard facts.
>>> You misinterpreted the information given
Police are on the lookout for Brinks truck driver Neil Santana, who is suspected of robbing a supermarket yesterday in Lansing . . .
. . . and . . .
. . . no longer are 16-year-old boys recognized as the most risky drivers, but girls 16 years of age have taken the lead.
Make sure you understand what you are writing about BEFORE you start writing! If you're not sure, seek further explanation from your sources!
>>> You put in faulty numbers
. . . denied a local woman permission to bury her husband of 82 years . . .
This just requires simple double-checking of numbers, spellings, ect.
>>> You misstated facts
. . . the local jail will begin charging a fee to criminals that will cover the full cost of their arrest and incarceration.
That goes well beyond the information you were given.
Avoiding fatals does not require an Ivy League education. Make sure you understand what you are writing; look for typos after you're done writing; stick to the facts and avoid making assumptions for which you have no hard facts.
What's the news?
Is it here?
Recently widowed Olivida Saleeby requested permission last night from the Zoning Board to bury her dead husband in their backyard after 62 years of marriage.
No. The news isn't that permission was sought; it's what decision was made regarding that request. Ultimate outcome and latest information, right?
Last night, the East Lansing Zoning Board voted unanimously against allowing local resident Olivida Saleeby to bury her husband in the backyard of their home of 62 years.
Recently widowed Olivida Saleeby requested permission last night from the Zoning Board to bury her dead husband in their backyard after 62 years of marriage.
No. The news isn't that permission was sought; it's what decision was made regarding that request. Ultimate outcome and latest information, right?
Last night, the East Lansing Zoning Board voted unanimously against allowing local resident Olivida Saleeby to bury her husband in the backyard of their home of 62 years.
Don't forget to set context
. . . college graduates earn over $1 million more than workers with a high school diploma.
Context is missing -- how do they earn more money? Each year? This lede is more clear:
College graduates can expect to make $1 million more IN THEIR LIFETIME than those . . .
Make sure everything people need to know to understand the story is included in what you write.
Now, in this next example, is a question lede the right way to set context?
Is it fair that arrested persons that are fingerprinted and have to have mug shots taken might have to pay toward the city's crisis?
Context is missing -- how do they earn more money? Each year? This lede is more clear:
College graduates can expect to make $1 million more IN THEIR LIFETIME than those . . .
Make sure everything people need to know to understand the story is included in what you write.
Now, in this next example, is a question lede the right way to set context?
Is it fair that arrested persons that are fingerprinted and have to have mug shots taken might have to pay toward the city's crisis?
Too flip?
Sara Howard's wedding plans now include preparing for a funeral after . . .
What do you think?
What do you think?
Do you mean, "dead body"?
. . . police suspect he ditched the van after he found an UNRESPONSIVE PASSENGER along for the ride.
They had a wedding?
A local man loses his life in a speeding accident on the day of his wedding.
Did you mean, they day he was to be wed?
A local man, Scott Forsythe, died in a car accident just 15 minutes before his wedding . . .
Did they go ahead with the ceremony?
. . . half a mile away from the church where he was getting married today.
So, he died and then he went half-a-mile down the road to get hitched?
Make sure you say PRECISELY what you mean to say!
Did you mean, they day he was to be wed?
A local man, Scott Forsythe, died in a car accident just 15 minutes before his wedding . . .
Did they go ahead with the ceremony?
. . . half a mile away from the church where he was getting married today.
So, he died and then he went half-a-mile down the road to get hitched?
Make sure you say PRECISELY what you mean to say!
How do you know this?
An elderly woman wants her husband to be buried in the back yard of their home to reduce the feeling of loneliness.
Are you assuming that's her motivation? Or do you know that for a fact? What about this?
A local woman is saddened after the city's Zoning Board unanimously rejected her request to bury her dead husband in the backyard of their home.
How do you know she's sad? In a real-life setting, what would you do to see if that's the case?
What about this one?
A car thief shocked police by giving an exact location of where he would leave the stolen cargo van, only after realizing he wasn't the only passenger in the temporary hearse.
Are you assuming that's her motivation? Or do you know that for a fact? What about this?
A local woman is saddened after the city's Zoning Board unanimously rejected her request to bury her dead husband in the backyard of their home.
How do you know she's sad? In a real-life setting, what would you do to see if that's the case?
What about this one?
A car thief shocked police by giving an exact location of where he would leave the stolen cargo van, only after realizing he wasn't the only passenger in the temporary hearse.
Too Vague and misleading
Are parental warnings enough? A recent study shows that 52 percent of 10- to 12-year-old boys played with a gun.
You mean all boys in the world in that age range? Or 52 percent of boys in the study?
And did they just play with a gun whenever? Or when told not to beforehand?
You mean all boys in the world in that age range? Or 52 percent of boys in the study?
And did they just play with a gun whenever? Or when told not to beforehand?
The Peanut Barrel rule
This lede falls short, I think. Tell me why:
Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed in an accident this morning after he lost control of his car and slammed into two trees and a fence.
What's missing under the Peanut Barrel rule? What makes this story different and unique?
Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed in an accident this morning after he lost control of his car and slammed into two trees and a fence.
What's missing under the Peanut Barrel rule? What makes this story different and unique?
When to use a name in a lede?
There's a general rule of thumb -- if who the person was is newsworthy in an dof itself, or changes the meaning or context of a story, then use the name in a lede (e.g., Lady Gaga, President Obama, ect.).
If the name is -- with all due respect -- some average Joe that your readers likely couldn't identify by name, then it's probably okay to identify the person in the lede in the generic (e.g., a 41-year-old Haslett man) and then use the name in a second reference (Omar Sofradzija).
An exception to this rule? When you do an anecdotal or more personalized type of lede.
Today was supposed to be a happy occasion for Sara Howard. But instead she is mouring her fiance . . .
If the name is -- with all due respect -- some average Joe that your readers likely couldn't identify by name, then it's probably okay to identify the person in the lede in the generic (e.g., a 41-year-old Haslett man) and then use the name in a second reference (Omar Sofradzija).
An exception to this rule? When you do an anecdotal or more personalized type of lede.
Today was supposed to be a happy occasion for Sara Howard. But instead she is mouring her fiance . . .
Write with (AP) style
Is it a hundred or 100? It's 100. AP Style under "numerals": In general "Spell out whole numbers below 10, use figures for 10 and above."
Is it 100,000 dollars or $100,000? AP Style under "dollars": "Use figures and the $ sign in all except casual references or amounts without a figure."
Is it 16 year-old girl or 16-year-old girl? AP Style under "ages": Use hyphens for ages expressed as adjectives before a noun or as substitutes for a noun."
Don't forget your AP Style? Start picking up on common use patterns? Is it time to make a cheat sheet showing some of the more frequently-used style rules (like numbers, money, ect.)?
Is it 100,000 dollars or $100,000? AP Style under "dollars": "Use figures and the $ sign in all except casual references or amounts without a figure."
Is it 16 year-old girl or 16-year-old girl? AP Style under "ages": Use hyphens for ages expressed as adjectives before a noun or as substitutes for a noun."
Don't forget your AP Style? Start picking up on common use patterns? Is it time to make a cheat sheet showing some of the more frequently-used style rules (like numbers, money, ect.)?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Ledes I liked
College-educated women are more likely to stay married, according to a survey done by the Centers for Disease Control.
. . . and . . .
Erik Barsh, a local boy struck by lightning at a municipal swimming pool last summer, is now suing the city for his injuries.
. . . and . . .
A woman was arrested today on charges of grand theft and defrauding an adoption agency by faking her pregnancy and accepting $12,000 from the Hope Agency to cover medical expenses.
. . . and . . .
Policemen arrested a local woman today on charges of grand theft and defrauding an adoption agency of $12,000 after she falsely claimed pregnancy.
. . . and . . .
Do religion, profession and previous experience of couples living together really play a role in how long marriages last?
. . . and . . .
Women who are religious, wealthy, college-educated and at least 20 years old are less likely to get in a divorce than those who are not, according to the Centers ofr Disease Control.
. . . and . . .
Couples who live together before marriage are at greater risk for divorce, according to a new study released today, by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
. . . and . . .
Erik Barsh, a local boy struck by lightning at a municipal swimming pool last summer, is now suing the city for his injuries.
. . . and . . .
A woman was arrested today on charges of grand theft and defrauding an adoption agency by faking her pregnancy and accepting $12,000 from the Hope Agency to cover medical expenses.
. . . and . . .
Policemen arrested a local woman today on charges of grand theft and defrauding an adoption agency of $12,000 after she falsely claimed pregnancy.
. . . and . . .
Do religion, profession and previous experience of couples living together really play a role in how long marriages last?
. . . and . . .
Women who are religious, wealthy, college-educated and at least 20 years old are less likely to get in a divorce than those who are not, according to the Centers ofr Disease Control.
. . . and . . .
Couples who live together before marriage are at greater risk for divorce, according to a new study released today, by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Which lede is right?
Wealthy, religious and educated women tend to have longer-lasting marriages, recent studies by the Centers for Disease Control concluded.
. . . or . . .
Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to file for divorce, according to researchers from Centers for Disease Control.
. . . or . . .
Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to file for divorce, according to researchers from Centers for Disease Control.
A flurry of fatals, Pt. 1
Yep, some of you fataled. Good thing for you it wasn't a graded assignment. Let's count the ways you had a fatal day:
You misspelled names.
One of the fastest ways you can fatal. Like here:
Who is responsible: the patron or the lifeguard? Erick Barsh is suing the city for injuries resulting from being hit by lightning during a storm last summer while in the city pool.
Nice lede, except for the fact it is Erik, not Erick. Double-check names, addresses, ages, locations, everything!
You misspelled names.
One of the fastest ways you can fatal. Like here:
Who is responsible: the patron or the lifeguard? Erick Barsh is suing the city for injuries resulting from being hit by lightning during a storm last summer while in the city pool.
Nice lede, except for the fact it is Erik, not Erick. Double-check names, addresses, ages, locations, everything!
A flurry of fatals, Pt. 2
You incorrectly reported facts
Like here, regarding the vagrants proposal:
Tired of vagrants' negative image, businessmen are raising money for bus tickets to send vagrants to a city where they have family through an ordinance passed by Mayor Datoli.
First, the information given to you said businessmen would raise the money; not that they are or they did.
Second, the mayor did not pass an ordinance; she said she would introduce one next week.
Here, you misinterpreted data:
Shacking up with your partner lads to a 70 percent greater chance of marriage, but a 40 percent greater chance of divorce . . .
The data did not deal with greater/lesser chances; the percentages referred to the share of study sample size. If you had a 70 percent greater chance of getting married by first "shacking up" and the data you were given is otherwise correct, then you'd have a zero percent chance of getting married if you don't.
Make sure you say what you mean, and you mean what you say, and you understand what you are writing and know whether it adheres to the facts.
Like here, regarding the vagrants proposal:
Tired of vagrants' negative image, businessmen are raising money for bus tickets to send vagrants to a city where they have family through an ordinance passed by Mayor Datoli.
First, the information given to you said businessmen would raise the money; not that they are or they did.
Second, the mayor did not pass an ordinance; she said she would introduce one next week.
Here, you misinterpreted data:
Shacking up with your partner lads to a 70 percent greater chance of marriage, but a 40 percent greater chance of divorce . . .
The data did not deal with greater/lesser chances; the percentages referred to the share of study sample size. If you had a 70 percent greater chance of getting married by first "shacking up" and the data you were given is otherwise correct, then you'd have a zero percent chance of getting married if you don't.
Make sure you say what you mean, and you mean what you say, and you understand what you are writing and know whether it adheres to the facts.
A flurry of fatals, Pt. 3
You misinterpreted context
Like here . . .
Tuesday's introduction of a panhandling ordinance send the city's homeless on a one-way trip out of downtown . . .
. . . and here . . .
Complaints on vagrants land them a one-way bus ticket out of town.
The information given to you said the mayor planned to introduce the ordinance next Tuesday, which means it can't possibly be in effect right now. Yet, the use of the present tense here indicates it's already happening. Which it is not. Which is a fatal.
Make sure you say what you mean to say, and what is supported by the facts.
Like here . . .
Tuesday's introduction of a panhandling ordinance send the city's homeless on a one-way trip out of downtown . . .
. . . and here . . .
Complaints on vagrants land them a one-way bus ticket out of town.
The information given to you said the mayor planned to introduce the ordinance next Tuesday, which means it can't possibly be in effect right now. Yet, the use of the present tense here indicates it's already happening. Which it is not. Which is a fatal.
Make sure you say what you mean to say, and what is supported by the facts.
A flurry of fatals, Pt. 4
You failed to adequately double-check your numbers.
Like in this adoption fraud lede:
. . . after receiving $10,000 in medical expenses . . .
Actually, it was $12,000. You would also been okay to say "around $10,000," but without that qualifier you're listing an exact amount.
And it was in cash to pay for medical expenses, not an amount of cash in the form of medical expenses which is implied in the way it's written.
Double-check facts and figures, folks. And make sure it's always in proper context.
Like in this adoption fraud lede:
. . . after receiving $10,000 in medical expenses . . .
Actually, it was $12,000. You would also been okay to say "around $10,000," but without that qualifier you're listing an exact amount.
And it was in cash to pay for medical expenses, not an amount of cash in the form of medical expenses which is implied in the way it's written.
Double-check facts and figures, folks. And make sure it's always in proper context.
A flurry of fatals, Pt. 5
You made an assumption, or incorrectly used a word in a way that changed meaning
Like here: Police have arrested and charged East Lansing native Cynthia Lowrie . . .
"Native" in AP Style cites a heading under "citizen, resident, subject, national, native" as such: "Native is the term denoting that an individual was born in a given location."
You have no information indicating where Lowrie was born, so "native" is more than just the incorrect use of a word; it changes the meaning and turns it into a fatal.
This one is a borderline fatal:
Police today arrested a local woman charged with grand theft . . .
You imply she was already charged with grand theft when arrested. In fact, she was arrested and then charged with grand theft.
Say what you mean; mean what you say.
Like here: Police have arrested and charged East Lansing native Cynthia Lowrie . . .
"Native" in AP Style cites a heading under "citizen, resident, subject, national, native" as such: "Native is the term denoting that an individual was born in a given location."
You have no information indicating where Lowrie was born, so "native" is more than just the incorrect use of a word; it changes the meaning and turns it into a fatal.
This one is a borderline fatal:
Police today arrested a local woman charged with grand theft . . .
You imply she was already charged with grand theft when arrested. In fact, she was arrested and then charged with grand theft.
Say what you mean; mean what you say.
Spell cheek wouldn't have caught this
Faking a pregnancy has LEAD to the arrest of a local woman . . .
. . . or this . . .
. . . after receiving $10,000 in MEDIAL expenses . . .
Don't trust spell check alone! It will not tell you when you correctly spelled a word that you improperly used.
. . . or this . . .
. . . after receiving $10,000 in MEDIAL expenses . . .
Don't trust spell check alone! It will not tell you when you correctly spelled a word that you improperly used.
Wordy, wordy
What could go from this lede? What can wait until the nut graf?
Accusations that local lifeguards failed to provide adequate warning of an approaching storm have resulted in a local lightning strike victim suing the city of East Lansing in wake of mounting medical bills from injury.
How would you tighten up this lede?
Accusations that local lifeguards failed to provide adequate warning of an approaching storm have resulted in a local lightning strike victim suing the city of East Lansing in wake of mounting medical bills from injury.
How would you tighten up this lede?
Who, what, WHEN, where, why?
What's missing here?
A young man struck my lightning is now suing the city for negligence, claiming that the lifeguards gave him no warnings.
And here?
A local teenager is suing the city for the costs of medical bills and damages as he blames the city's lifeguards for his being struck by lightning at the municipal swimming pool.
A young man struck my lightning is now suing the city for negligence, claiming that the lifeguards gave him no warnings.
And here?
A local teenager is suing the city for the costs of medical bills and damages as he blames the city's lifeguards for his being struck by lightning at the municipal swimming pool.
No Bonus Points For Big Words
Use simple language. That's what reporters try to do, right? So, was the language here as simple as it could have been?
Cynthia Lowrie was arrested today and charged with grand theft and defrauding an adoption agency, falsely claiming that she was pregnant in order to receive a cash compensation for her medical bills.
"Cash compensation"? Couldn't you just say "money"?
Speaking of wordiness, is "that" necessary? Does the removal of "that" change meaning and sentence structure at all?
Often, you don't need "that."
And make sure you use the best word possible. I'm not sure you did here:
Mayor Datoli is responding to local businessman's concerns about vagrants deteriorating the integrity of the city . . .
Uh, whaa? Plain English, please?
Cynthia Lowrie was arrested today and charged with grand theft and defrauding an adoption agency, falsely claiming that she was pregnant in order to receive a cash compensation for her medical bills.
"Cash compensation"? Couldn't you just say "money"?
Speaking of wordiness, is "that" necessary? Does the removal of "that" change meaning and sentence structure at all?
Often, you don't need "that."
And make sure you use the best word possible. I'm not sure you did here:
Mayor Datoli is responding to local businessman's concerns about vagrants deteriorating the integrity of the city . . .
Uh, whaa? Plain English, please?
Proper or insulting?
What do you think of the word choice in this lede?
Mayor Datoli wants to give the riffraff a one-way ticket out of East Lansing with an ordinance she'll introduce next Tuesday.
I fear it's unnecessarily inflammatory and deragatory, like if I'd use "old geezer" instead of "senior citizen" or "elderly person."
What do you think?
And is this too casual? Or just right?
Shacking up with your partner . . .
Mayor Datoli wants to give the riffraff a one-way ticket out of East Lansing with an ordinance she'll introduce next Tuesday.
I fear it's unnecessarily inflammatory and deragatory, like if I'd use "old geezer" instead of "senior citizen" or "elderly person."
What do you think?
And is this too casual? Or just right?
Shacking up with your partner . . .
It's ALLEGEDLY. Allegedly.
This is something we haven't gotten into yet, but now is as good a time as any to do so: if you are dealing with accusations or criminal charges that have yet to lead up to a conviction, be sure to preface information with "allegedly."
Such as . . .
A local woman was arrested today for ALLEGEDLY stealing money from an adoption agency . . .
Such as . . .
A local woman was arrested today for ALLEGEDLY stealing money from an adoption agency . . .
Write with (AP) style
Is this correct, under AP Style rules?
70% of couples who live together . . .
No. This is under the "numerals" heading:
Spell out a numeral at the beginning of a sentence.
Plus, if you look under "percent," you find examples that show you should use the word, not the figure.
Also, many of you referred to Mayor Datoli as Mayor Datoli. Is that okay under AP style rules? No. This is what it says under "names":
In general, use last names only on second reference.
So you should have included a first name. Did you have one given to you? No. So, what should you have then done?
This is a trick question that you'll constantly be facing this semester. What's the correct answer?
Start checking/familiarizing yourself with AP Style, folks!
70% of couples who live together . . .
No. This is under the "numerals" heading:
Spell out a numeral at the beginning of a sentence.
Plus, if you look under "percent," you find examples that show you should use the word, not the figure.
Also, many of you referred to Mayor Datoli as Mayor Datoli. Is that okay under AP style rules? No. This is what it says under "names":
In general, use last names only on second reference.
So you should have included a first name. Did you have one given to you? No. So, what should you have then done?
This is a trick question that you'll constantly be facing this semester. What's the correct answer?
Start checking/familiarizing yourself with AP Style, folks!
Don't forget your articles!
I don't mean stories! I mean words that go with nouns that help form a sentence, like "a," "and," and "the."
Articles were needed here:
Local woman arrested in an adoption agency defrauding scheme . . .
You should be able to read a lede out loud and have it come across as an intelligible complete sentence.
Articles were needed here:
Local woman arrested in an adoption agency defrauding scheme . . .
You should be able to read a lede out loud and have it come across as an intelligible complete sentence.
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