Vids/Blogs/Tweets #2: The Roundup

Let's look at some of the groupings!

Sam: beyond coal video / blog / tweets #jrn200msuenergy General comments: Video: Watch your spellings! One video caption has a misspelling. Blog: Give each post its own headline, not just one that's the old post name, plus "continued." Also, don't use the same hyperlink in consecutive posts. Use new hyperlinks.

Breanna: cosmetics video / blog / tweets #organicvsconventional General comments: Video: What is the attribution for the information in your text slides? Don't forget attribution there! Also, watch your editing. A latter caption had text saying "text here" or something like that; there was also a span with no video. Blog***: EXCELLENT use of embedded video and hyperlinks. Tweets***: EXCELLENT use of hyperlinks!

Trisha: housing video / blog / tweets #toliveonoroff General comments: Video***: Good range of interviews.

Jessy: roommate conflicts video / blog / tweets #roommateconflictsstory General comments: Video***: Notice the back-and-forth use of sound bytes, where you talk to one person, then another, then go back to the first person. It's more conversational and generally preferable to using everything someone has to say all at once.

Darcie: protest video / blog / tweets #MSUsafety General comments: Video***: note the use of narration to help keep the story moving between sound bytes. Blog/tweets***: EXCELLENT use of hyperlinks to give people more information. See how each medium tells a story using basically similar content, but parsing that content in different ways?

Mattie O.: college housing video / blog / tweets #collegehousing General comments: Video***; EXCELLENT use of captions to introduce each subsection and nice b-roll, but where are the minimum two interviews with a human being? Perhaps you could have introduced sound bytes to explain some of the subsections instead relying solely on what was otherwise strong narration. Blog***: Insert hyperlinks into existing text as opposed to saying, "Watch this!" Tweets*** Strong hyperlinks, including link to video. But make sure your hash tag is truly unique unless you WANT to let your readers see related topic tweets beyond your own.

Ashley: inclusion video / blog / tweets #MRULESouth General comments: Video: B-roll would have helped break up the long interview segments. Tweets: You have some tweets that are quotes. If they are from someone else, you still need attribution. If they are your observations, then you don't need quotation marks; tweets are assumed to be from you.

Nick: cigar tax video / blog / tweets #jrncigars General comments: Video***: When you're doing a news story as opposed to an opinion piece, please refrain from interjecting opinion, like you did at the end here.

Julianne: restaurant video / blog / tweets #recordbreakingnoodles General comments: Video*** Nice use of b-roll and neutral experts! The latter turns what could have been a one-sided puff piece into something more analytical. Tweets:*** Nice mix of quotes and facts.

Nicole: keg law video / blog / tweets #kegtags General comments: Video: more b-roll would help break up the interview shots a bit. Blog: Hyperlink on text and don't create a "click here" link. For example, instead of saying "To see what the tag looks like, click here," just create a hyperlink on your first reference to the tag. Tweets***: It flows well, like a story would.

Stefany: speaker video / blog / tweets #takethepledge General comments: Video***: This was a tough assignment, in that you were reporting on a speech that already took place. Smart back-tracking in getting an interview with the speaker, reactions from people who were in the audience. Blog***: Smartly updates and evolves original post on he speaker by delving into one of the subtopics of the speech. Tweets***: A basic play-by-play rundown of the speech.

Mike: dorm water podcast / blog / tweets #hubbardwater General comments: podcast***: something different, but the same. Note the structure: you still have a (narrated) lede, you still have quotes (via sound bytes), you still have attribution. Blog: Give each post its own headline, not just one that's the old post name, plus "continued."

Bethan: LGBT community video / blog / tweets #bethanstory General comments: Video: B-roll would be helpful, even with a topic where visuals aren't obvious. The story is about individuals becoming part of a community; show them interacting with others, on their daily rounds, ect. Blog: Insert hyperlinks into the text, not into a separate line. So, instead of having a line at the end saying, "All of these groups have pages" and then offering links, instead put hyperlinks over the first reference to each group.

Alissa: online dating video / blog / tweets #loveisintech General comments: Blog: Give each post its own headline, not just one that's the old post name, plus "continued."

Maddie F.: MSU entertainment video / blog / tweets #iloverha General comments: nice job all around.

BriAnn: dodgeball fundraiser video / blog / tweets #SKPhilanthropy General comments: Video***: Good use of janky-free b-roll and nice use of yourself as an on-camera narrator. But remember as journalists we need to present ourselves neutrally, which means don't wear a Greek shirt when doing a NEWS story about Greek life. Tweets***: a play-by-play of the event that complements -- but doesn't overlap -- the vid and blog.

Julia: holiday creep video / blog / tweets #christmascreep General comments: Blog***: nice use of an initial overview, then a post on reaction. Also, nice link to your own video. Tweets***: make sure your hash tag is truly unique unless you WANT to let your readers see related topic tweets beyond your own. Which, in this case, might be kinda useful.

Kevin: MSU entertainment video / blog / tweets #uabmsu General comments: Video***: your b-roll of the sales stuff would have been better used while the co-owner was talking, so you can show and tell at the same time.

Connor: Dorm security video / blog / tweets #msudormsecurity General comments: Video: a little more b-roll, pleez! Blog: Posts are a bit on the long side; you may have been better off in breaking up your two posts into four or five shorter posts.

Carly: Greek life video / blog/ tweets #missgreek2011 General comments: video: nice use of b-roll, but you only used one source when the assignment required at least two. Plus, unauthorized use of copyrighted music.

Maggie: Fan violence video / blog / tweets General comments: blog: Hyperlinking is best done when embedded in ordinary text passages, as opposed to at the end of all text. Tweets***: nice overview where the tweets collectively read like a story.

Ethics: The 9/11 Falling Man, Ect.

There's a fine line between showing readers the brutal truth of a situation so that they understand the powerful truth of any story, and showing readers a truth so brutal that readers ignore the point you were trying to make and instead question your judgment.

I can think of no better example of this than the so-called Falling man photo, taken by an Associated Press photographer during the Sept. 11, 2001 terror attacks and published by The New York Times the next day.

This remarkable article from Esquire Magazine in 2003 offers a summation of the complex and contradictory forces at play in deciding if running the image was the absolute right thing or the incredibly wrong thing to do.

If you were an editor on Sept. 11, what would you have done? And why?

Likewise, what would you do if you were a photographer covering an African famine and you came across a starving girl being stalked by a vulture? That was a real-world decision for one photog, and it may have led to his own unfortunate end.

Let's talk it out.

Out Of Class #2: More Published Work!

Is campus water safe to drink? Michael is on it!

Bored at MSU? Maddie is on it!

How can it be Christmas already? Julia is on it!

Does MSU have a new dance team? Kevin is on it!

Out Of Class #2: Extra Credit Reminder ...

. . . because it never hurts to get extra credit:

FOR GETTING AN OUT-OF-CLASS STORY PUBLISHED, I will replace your out of class story grade (which is the average between your original version and your rewrite grade) with the higher grade. If your grade was the same with both versions, I will add up to o.5 to your grade, up to the grade becoming a 4.0.

For me to count your extra credit, you need to submit to me a published copy of your work or email me a Web link to your work, along with an email request to have it applied to extra credit.

FOR DOING A FOURTH OUT-OF-CLASS STORY, I will apply points up to that equal to an out-of-class story to your final grade. (An out-of-class story is equal to about 12 percent of your final grade in this class.)

FOR DOING AN OUT-OF-CLASS MINI-STORY -- which can be between 400 and 600 words, with a minimum of two human sources, in which you can cover ANY sort of event (subject t my approval) like a student group meeting or a speaker on-campus -- I will replace your two lowest practice story grades with 4.0s.

FOR GETTING THE MINI-STORY PUBLISHED, I will replace two more lowest-scoring practice stories with 4.0s.

I will also consider other extra-credit projects on a case-by-case basis. Please see me during my office hours to work out other extra-credit assignments.

THE COMMON DENOMINATOR IN ALL EXTRA CREDIT ASSIGNMENTS is that you are demonstrating to me that you can now correctly apply skills learned in this class that at one time you did not apply as well; that you went above and beyond what we are learning in this class to further educate yourself in journalism; and/or you are demonstrating ability learned on your own prior to this class but applicable here. You can expect any ad hoc extra credit beyond the assignments listed here to include at least one of those components.

I don't care if you messed up earlier; show me you can get it right now and I'm happy to replace earlier grades with something more accurately reflecting where you are at NOW.

I just want to be clear on this one point regarding extra credit: extra credit will be applied to replace the grades of assignments you have actually done, including fataled assignments.

Extra credit will NOT be applied to assignments that you did not turn in, or in which you had a time fatal.

So if you were thinking of skipping an assignment or two toward the end of the semester by pre-emptively turning in some extra credit, that plan won't work.

Out Of Class #2: Fatals Suck

Just a reminder to double-check things, folks. Unfortunately, two of you are getting that reminder the hard way.

One of you fataled by referring to the energy drink Four Loko as Four Loco. That is a different name, so that is a fatal.

Another one of you alternately referred to Consumers Energy as Consumers Power. Consumers Energy is the power company here in Michigan. Consumers Power is a small utility in Oregon. One is not the other.

I hate to see fatals on such a heavily-weighed assignment. But whether it's a story big or small, we have to be sure that we check our facts, and that we use our facts correctly.

And we have to work on taking our lumps and learning our lessons now (when it's just a grade on the line) and not later (when it may be your internship or job in question).

Sorry, guys.

Neutral Experts: Sometimes You Don't Need To Find One ...

... sometimes, they'll find you!

Last week, I got this email via a college media advisers list serv:

If your students are working on Penn State, Joe Paterno stories -
please feel free to have them contact me with questions concerning fan
reactions, etc.

My expertise is in fan reactions to/judgments of athlete behaviors
(and by extension, administrators, teams, programs) - fan identity,
socialization, and motivation. Our new edited anthology on sports
fandom entitled "Sports Fans, Identity and Socialization: Exploring
the Fandemonium" is due out at the end of this month.

Students can email me directly at acearnheardt@ysu.edu and I will
provide the best number to call.

Thanks!

Adam

--
Adam C. Earnheardt, Ph.D.
Youngstown State University
Department of Communication

Follow me on Twitter - http://twitter.com/adamearn - @adamearn

Ohio Communication Association, Executive Director
http://www.ohiocomm.org

Rookery Radio, Advisor
http://www.rookeryradio.com

Again, let me remind you there is a neutral expert for everything. And those experts are probably on a campus somewhere.

Twitter: How To Tweet A Non-Breaking News Story

Tweeting a breaking news story is easy, as you've learned. Just type what you see, as you see it. But how do you tweet something that isn't breaking? Like a trend story, or something about a topic without a specific time peg or an actual event associated with it?

Actually, that's easy, too!

That was a situation a student in one of my past JRN 200 classes faced. She was doing a story about a rash of concussions among student-athletes. And here's her tweet stream, which I reversed so that you see her first tweet first and her last tweet last; the opposite of how it would appear on Twitter. Here we go:

#concussedathletes Over 300,000 sports related concussions occur each year, according to the Brain Trauma Research Center.

#concussedathletes The NCAA, the nation's largest college athletic association, has no guidelines for treating athletes with head injuries.

#concussedathletes The Big Ten is trying to implement its own regulations to deal with concussed athletes.

#concussedathletes Michigan State University is not pushing for the Big Ten to have the regulations.

#concussedathletes MSU soccer goalkeeper Liz Watza has had five concussions and said "The NCAA should create guidelines."

#concussedathletes Sports Specialist Dr. Homer Linard said the main concern with letting injured athletes back in the game is brain injury.

#concussedathletes Suffering a second concussion shortly after the first one can be deadly, according to the Brain Trauma Research Center.

#concussedathletes Incoming freshmen athletes at MSU are given a specific concussion test, called ImPACT. impacttest.com

#concussedathletes Athletic Clinical Coordinator Brian Bratta said "ImPACT assesses memory, cognitive ability and function of the brain."

#concussedathletes Once a concussion occurs at MSU, the athlete takes ImPACT again to gauge the severity of the injury.

#concussedathletes Despite new technology, the biggest indicator is the presence of symptoms, said Bratta. http://tinyurl.com/6cq9dx

#concussedathletes When a head injury occurs, MSU athletes are immediately given SCAT, the Standardized Concussion Assessment Test.

#concussedathletes SCAT is a checklist of common symptoms and tests balance, said MSU Certified Athletic Trainer Yume Nakamura.

Now, please notice a few things. Look at the first four tweets. Each could be a lede, right? For many of you, in writing a story -- especially trend stories -- you may find that you have more than one good lede option, but you can only choose one lede. But in tweeting the news, each lede option can become its own tweet.

Second, the tweeter took telling quotes and made each a tweet, like that of teh player giving her opinion on the subject. Just like a quote in a story, it's not YOUR opinion; it's what somebody who is a subject of your story thinks.

Third, interesting facts are offered as tweets, like those on what the effects of a concussion can be.

Fourth, a mini-series of tweets are used to explain a nuance of the story, like the half-dozen tweets that in total detail how MSU deals with concussed athletes.

Fifth, hyperlinks are offered via tweet. Notice the tweet that uses a bit.ly link. Bit.ly is a URL shortener that will take a long URL and convert it into a shorter one that better fits on a character-restricted service like Twitter.

Let's take a look at what bit.ly can do for you, via this link.

Blogs/Tweets: Let's Look At 'Em!

Here are some blog/tweet pairings for your first assignment. Let's see how things worked! As long as you showed technical proficiency in this assignment -- using the minimum number of tweets and blog hyperlinks, and not fataling (though for Twitter, given that it's a speed-based social medium, I will relent a bit for minor typos that do not change meanings of things) then you received a 4.0 that's worth two practice story grades. If you missed a major component -- like failing to include the minimum number of hyperlinks -- then you received a grade point reduction.

Let's take a look at how you guys did:

Mike/TV show: Blog/tweets #himym

Connor/game: blog/tweets #phivschi

Mattie O./class: blog/tweets #seewhatimeancas111

Kevin/play: blog/tweets #actitout

Maggie/football blog/tweets #footballfail

Trisha/talk show: blog/tweets

Darcie/TV show blog /tweets #othtime

Jessy/Sing-off blog/tweets #jrn200singofftweets

Nick/football blog/tweets #nfljrn200

Nicole/TV show blog/tweets #legendary

BriAnn/misc. blog/tweets #sigmakappaordie

Stefany/house blog/tweets #livinginasororityhouse

Breanna/TV show blog/tweets #mtvtruelife

Alissa/TV show blog/tweets #cosbyrerun

Sam/TV show blog/tweets #gleekout

Julia/misc. blog/tweets #8amproblems

Bethan/ blog/tweets #bethanwatchesglee

Carly/dancing blog/tweets #dwtsfanatic

Maddie F./Sportscenter blog/tweets #sportscenteraddict

Julianne/school days blog/tweets #badcaseoftheTuesdays

Ashleigh/TV show blog/tweets #theoffice

Videos: Let's Take A Look ...

Okay, so your first video is done. Congrats! The good news is that by showing me basic skills such as shooting interviews and interspersing b-roll, you'll get a 4.0 grade worth one practice story on this exercise.

That is, unless you fataled or missed your deadline. I will be checking things like caption info, ect. for factual accuracy. It's a different medium, but the same rules apply: we have to get it right, and on time. Every time.

I'll comment on vids as we go. Here we go:

Darcie

BriAnn

Maggie

Jessy

Sam

Mike

Trish

Nicole

Breanna

Mattie O.

Bethan

Connor

Stefany

Julia

Ashleigh

Kevin

Alissa

Maddie F.

Carly

Nick

Julianne

What did you guys think?

Video: If You Need Some B-Roll ...

Then we've got that B-roll!

Blogs: Blogs Are Easy

Blogs are easy. But a blog may not be what you think.

A blog can be something that's snarky and opinionated. But it doesn't have to be, in the same way a newspaper can be the National Enquirer but it doesn't have to be.

And a blog for news shouldn't be opinionated. What we do is different in approach, but with the same intents as in traditional journalism.

For example, your writing voice is conversational in a blog, as opposed to something more formal in a news story. You talk like you're talking to your friends in a more natural woulda-coulda-shoulda voice and first-person references, as opposed to talking to people in a lecture-like tone. But you do it to relay information, and not your opinion.

In a blog you use hyperlinks to link to related background information, instead of putting in a bunch of background like a news story would. But in both cases you're doing it to provide factual evidence to your audience and to show and not just tell them stuff.

In a blog a story may be told in a series of short posts instead of a single story like in print. But that's okay; the blog (and not individual blog posts) is the consumption unit as part of a single ongoing and never-ending story. So instead of writing one long post once you've done all your research, you write many short posts, with the next one updating the last one. Each post is like a part of a news story, and not the whole.

In a new blog you still try to write about things that are relevant, interesting and useful to your audience, and not just you.

A news blog is a different style, not a different intent.

I think you may be able to get a sense of how you can turn a news story into a blog by looking at this Gawker.com blog post based on a news story you may have heard about on your own: Michigan's ban a while back on energy drink/alcohol mixes. Oh, and whaddya know, this blog links to -- and even credits -- The State News!

Take a look at the blog and its style and how it presents information, and then look at the State News story and its presentation method. See similarities? Differences? How alike goals are accomplished in differing ways? And see how helpful hyperlinking is to provide background without cluttering the blog or breaking its conversational tone?

Tweets: Tweets Are Easy

Many of you already use Twitter, but you may wonder how to use it for news.

That's easy, actually.

As you probably know, in Twitter you communicate in bursts of text no longer than 140 characters. So you're trying to say a little in a lot of space.

But that's less of a challenge than you may think.

That's because you're not limited to just one tweet. You can do as many tweets as you'd like!

So a single tweet is not a single story. Rather, a collection of tweets are. One tweet may be like sort of a lede, where it sums up the main point. following tweets are like the body of a story, with one tweet offering an update and another some relevant stats, and yet another a quote.

And that's the most basic value of Twitter -- it's another way to relay events live and as they happen to an audience who may not be near a TV or radio or whatever. You can essentially "broadcast" live, just using text sent to mobile devices of readers.

A collection of related tweets are unified by a hashtag; that is, the hashtag symbol on your keyboard (the thing that looks like a criss-cross fry; it's the number 3 key when under shift lock) followed by a unique phrase. For example, tweets at the convention I recently went to were joined by the hashtag #ncmc11 (short for National College Media Convention 2011).

You can supplement your tweets with links to a photo uploading site, like yFrog, which can help tell the story beyond the 140 characters allowed in a tweet, and beyond simple words.

You can also link to anything on the Web with the aid of a URL shortener, like bit.ly. What the service does is take a URL and replace it with a much shorter one. Using a bit.ly link here gives you more room to write text without the URL taking up so much space.

Ideally, the best tweet streams can be put in reverse order and read just like an inverted-pyramid news story, with (timewise) your first tweet summing up what happened, and the following tweets filling in details and offering a chronology as something unfolds.

Here -- again, in reverse order, with the tweets in order of when they were posted -- is the State News' sports Tweet stream just before and from the press conference announcing Coach Dantonio's heart attack a while back:

Report: Football head coach Mark Dantonio suffered a heart attack but is OK.

There is a "important football-related press conference" scheduled for 1 p.m. It is unclear if it is related to reports of Dantonio's health

MSU: Dantonio will remain at the hospital for a few days for monitoring. Return to sidelines at a later date.

MSU: Offensive coordinator Don Treadwell will manage day-to-day responsibilities of head coach.

MSU: Dantonio had "symptoms consistent with a heart attack."

MSU: Dantonio had a cardiac catheterization procedure early Sunday morning.

AD Mark Hollis said Dantonio will not be on the sidelines for the Northern Colorado game Saturday.

Hollis: "This is a time for the Spartan nation to come together, to rally."

Dr. D'Haem of Sparrow Hospital said a full recover is expected.

Dr. D'Haem said procedure is very routine and happens often. Also said he expects no long-term negative impact. Return yet to be determined.

Dr. D'Haem said Dantonio began feeling symptoms around 12:30 a.m. Sunday.

Dr. D'Haem: Heart attacks are never good...but I would classify this as a rather small heart attack.

Hollis said he spent the night at the hospital until about 5:30, the returned to hospital this morning at 8.

Dr. D'Haem: "Stress doesn't cause coronary heart disease, but very stressful events can be a trigger."

Coach Treadwell on players' reaction: "They're handling it as well as they can. They love their head coach."

Hollis: "(Dantonio's) thoughts went immediately to his family and then to the football program."

Treadwell said the fact staff has been together for a number of years will make this process easier from a football point of view.

Dr. D'Haem said timetable for Dantonio's return will be taken week-by-week.

There's a lede. There's a nut graf. There's supporting details. There are quotes. There is background. It collectively qualifies as a journalistic story. And you did it within the confines of social media.

This is exactly how The Associated Press wire service has always filed breaking news stories as a story is breaking: line-by-line, with the idea the lines can be pasted together into a story. It allows the writer to push out a story (and an editor to edit copy) much faster than if he or she waited to have a mass of information combined into a story, and yet a reader still ends up with all the information they need to consider the package in its totality.

So really, tweets are just a way of applying old journalistic skills in a new way.

Now, it's your turn. Your assignment is to live-tweet anything -- the latest episode of your favorite TV or radio show; a sporting event you're attending; your roommate eating dinner; whatever -- and send me a link to your Twitter account (which must be open to the public), with a deadline of the start of class Wednesday.

You will need to send a minimum of 12 tweets, with a unique hashtag applied to each. For this first assignment, I don't care what the news value is of your topic. I simply want to see your technical proficiency in live-tweeting something happening, as it happens.

Stats: A Lot Of Youze Guys ...

... were thrown off by the press release starting so heavily with background about the survey before moving on to what the survey found.

That led many of you to offer generic background on the survey -- it's been conducted since 1942, it polls 50,000 households, ect. -- ahead of what the survey found regarding Internet use -- most households now use computers, and the number has drastically grown over the past few decades.

And it led some of you to lede with the fact a survey was taken, rather than what the survey discovered!

All because something is first in a press release -- or a city council meeting, or a football game -- doesn't mean it's worth prominent mention or a lede. Your lede is based on the Peanut Barrel values we've discussed all semester (and in that case, it's not, Hey! A survey was taken! right?) and where you rank information is based on most relevant to least relevant, and not necesarily the order in which things were presented.

Don't fall for the sequence trap. Rank information on value to the reader and support for your story's central premise.

Stats: Watch Your Math

Be careful with numbers. Make sure you say what you mean, and you mean what you say, and that you understand what you say.

For example, let's look at this passage:

The U.S. Census Bureau ... (found) 61.8 percent have computers, an increase of almost 54 percent since 1984.

This is a fatal.

How is that? you may say. It went from 8.2 percent in 1984 to 61.8 percent now. The difference is 53.6 percent!

That's because the difference in percentage points is 53.6 percent. But the difference in percentage growth is actually 653.6 percent!

Here's what I mean:

In 1984, 8.2 percent of 100 percent households had computers. If 100 percent is 113.1 million households, that means 8.2 percent is around 9.2 million households.

Today, 61.8 percent of that 113.1 million households have computers. 61.8 percent of 113.1 million is around 69.9 million.

So the percentage increase isn't 8.2 to 53.6; it's roughly 9.2 million to somewhere around 69.9 million. And that's an increase of over 650 percent. If the 9.2 million only went up just over 53 percent, we'd be talking about a total of around 14 million or so.

What I think you meant to say was that the percentage of households with computers has risen 53.67 percentage points. Which it did. But that's not what you said.

If you're not sure, check with your sources to make sure your math is correct and in proper context.

Nw, I understand math is hard. That's why many of us went into writing; to get away from math, right?

Still, we have to know how to accurately calculate percentage change, and these day it's never been easier with the Internet. Just do a Google search for "percentage change calculator" and you'll find dozens. That's how I did my math.

By the way, this isn't an isolated mistake. In my class last fall someone made the exact same mistake as you did here.

So don't fret. Do work on remembering the lesson, and not repeating the mistake.

Stats: Flip The Lede

Some of you had god ledes that would have been great ledes if you flipped the lede; that is, switch positioning of attribution and substance to highlight the latter.

Here's one lede that could have used a flip:

According to the Current Population Survey conducted each month by the United States Census Bureau, Internet use among households is common in over half of all American homes.

Nice lede, but see how it starts with the attribution before getting to the gist of the story? You can reverse that order like this ...

Internet use among households is common in over half of all American homes, according to the Current Population Survey conducted each month by the United States Census Bureau.

... and you emphasize what is being said over who is saying it. Please note in this case I did not change, add or eliminate any word you used in your lede.

I simply flipped the order.

Stats: Writing With (AP) Style

Is it internet with a little i, or Internet with a capital I?

It's Internet, with a capital I.

Some of you may have missed that because the listing in AP Style for Internet doesn't say in the text to capitalize it. But in the heading and throughout the definition Internet is indeed capitalized.

The headings for each listing is more than a heading; it also shows the form in which the term is supposed to be used. Things that are lower-cased like international date line are listed as such, in lower case. Things that are usually capitalized are also listed as such, like Internet.

Also, one of the oldest AP Style rules we have around here is that you spell out percent instead of using the percent symbol. No excuse for not knowing that by now. Yet, some of you are still repeating that mistake.

Lawsuit: The Fatals Rundown

Yet another reminder it's the little things ...

... like, spelling IQ and IG.

... like, listing the school district as the Ingham County School District. In fact, it was the East Lansing School District being sued in Ingham County Circuit Court.

... like, spelling Marvin Ferrell's last name as Ferrel, with only one l.

Again, this class isn't about writing. It's about information organization and affirmation. Make sure you give yourself just as much time to understand the information you have and then review what you've written as you do actual writing.

Lawsuit: Allegedly

Like we've discussed before, in a lawsuit anyone can allege anything. So it's extra-important to note things are alleged.

The district didn't fail to adequately educate James Dowdell. They allegedly failed to adequately educate Dowdell. We won't know whether that's true or not until the trial takes place and evidence is presented.

Lawsuit: Plural vs. Possessive

When you are talking about the Dowdells as a family unit, it's plural, as in Dowdells; e.g., the Dowdells demand a jury trial.

When you are talking about a single Dowdell in the possessive form, then it's Dowdell's; e.g., Dowdell's IQ score was 94.

When you are talking about a group of Dowdells in the possessive, then it's Dowdells'; e.g., the Dowdells' lawsuit.

Losta problems with apostrophes and s's in this one.

Lawsuits: Legal B.S.

Did you need to say the Dowdells demand a jury trial of all issues triable as of a right by jury?

What the hell does that mean, anyway?

It just means they are asking for a jury trial. So it would have been enough to say the Dowdells demanded a jury trial.

Likewise, did you need to say the lawsuit targeted both the defendants jointly and severally, for the compensatory damages in the amount of $500,000?

No. More legal B.S. You could just say the lawsuit targeted the defendants for $500,000.

Now, I didn't knock your grade for your inability to navigate legal mumbo-jumbo, unless it changed the meaning of things. This is the sort of stuff you'll get the hang of when you actually start covering court cases.

Still, if you're not sure of the meaning of what you're writing, you should ask a source for a layman's translation.

JRN 200: We Have Some Published Journalists In Here!

Happy to see people in here are starting ot get their work published. At Spartan Edge, one of you got in a story on the rape culture at MSU. Another person is an author for their work on preparations for the Izzone campout this fall. And a third person's examination of study abroad programs at MSU is also the cat's meow.

Now, each of these people have at least one clip for their portfolio. (Yes, that means you need to print out a copy of your story to go with your resume.) And on your resume, you can put down that you were a contributing writer for the MSU student-run news Web site spartanedge.com for the fall of 2011.

And that's pretty important. Journalism is a field of demonstrated ability; that is, editors want to see what you've done, and not just what your grades indicate you may be able to do in the future. They want a sure thing, and there's nothing more sure than someone who has already demonstrated their ability in other media.

Don't forget: for me to count your published work as extra credit, you must send me an email making the extra credit request and including a link to your story.

JRN 200: Multimedia Downloads Are Here!

From these hyperlinks, you can download both Journalism 2.0 (in either the English, Spanish or Portuguese versions; whatever ya want. Knock yerself out) and the Reporters Guide to Multimedia Proficiency.

Please download BOTH free texts and read each in its entirety (close to 200 pages total) before we next meet on Wednesday, Nov. 2. And thanks!

Rescue: Why Did So Few Of You ...

. . . make any mention that the city's zoning board was to be notified about the site's hazard to children, as indicated at the end of the report?

Isn't that an important detail relating to where the story may go from here, and detailing consequence for what happened?

Also, some of you referred to the site owner generically, but you never named the company directly. Why is that? Isn't that specific and useful information? Wouldn't readers want to know who owns the land, in the same way they want to know who died? Isn't who one of the five W's every story should have?

Finally, if this was a real story you were doing for a real news organization, what would have been some additional steps in reporting this story? Let's get some good answers.

Rescue: Five W's

Quite a few of you never said what time the collapse took place. Even more of you never said when the boy was pulled out of the tunnel, and at what time the boy died.

Time often matters as one of the five W's. But in this case, it's especially important to the telling of the story.

Time tells you how difficult it would have been for the boy to be okay after being buried for so long. Time tells you how difficult it was to dig out the boy, in that it took so long.

In this case, specific times are important bits of data that help show teh reader what happened, and not just leave them being told by you.

You say it was a difficult rescue. The times help readers see that.

In every story you write, try to determine which data sets help explain the story and show readers what they need to see in terms of evidence supporting your overall angle.

Rescue: Was It ...

. . . a fort the kids were building? You know, with gates and turrets and moats and solid stone walls and stuff?

Or a tunnel that was a kind of play-fort?

It's the former, right?

So, why call it a just fort when it was really a tunnel?

It's not wrong that you refer to the fort in some way; just make sure the context is correct. One of you found a great way to say it: the boys were digging a tunnel to create a play fort.

Rescue: Fatals

It doesn't take a lot to fatal, so be careful with your facts.

Like what time something took place. One of you said the collapse happened just shy of 6 p.m. In fact, the collapse happened at 4:40 p.m.

You would have been correct to say the collapse happened just shy of five p.m., or at 4:40 p.m. But 6 p.m. is not 4:40 p.m., and 4:40 p.m. is not just shy of 6 p.m.

But it is a fatal.

The day something happened is important, too. One of you said the incident happened today. But under date of incident, it clearly said yesterday.

So that's a fatal, too.

Finally, someone said a pond collapsed. In fact, it was a tunnel that was near a pond.

You know what that means.

Updating the fatal tally, as of now 17 of 21 students are card-carrying members of Omar's Fatals Club. Only four of you to go.

Police: Fatals

It doesn't take a lot to fatal, so you have to watch the details.

Like whether Terry DaRoza is a he or a she. In three places in the sheriff's report narrative DaRoza is described as "he." And that's a fatal.

Another point is the time. One of you said police were called at 1:20 a.m. In fact, it was 1:22 a.m.

Now, you'd be right to say police were called around 1:20 a.m., or at 1:22 a.m. But 1:20 a.m. is not 1:22 a.m.

But it is a fatal.

Police: Ledes That Are Good/Gooder/Goodest

This was a lede that hit the essentials just right:

An Okemos man was charged with armed robbery and resisting a merchant after a failed attempt on a Jiffy Foods early this morning.

While it includes everything that happened this morning, it left out something that was happening right now: that a suspect was still on the loose. Was that necessary in the lede? Maybe not. But this next lede weaved in that angle:

A local man has been arrested and another suspect is still on the loose following an alleged attempted armed robbery earlier today.

Still, I feel like there's something missing. Think Peanut Barrel. What makes this story unique? That somebody tried to rob a store? Or that the robber was beaten back by a dude in a cast? This next lede gets to the latter:

Despite having injuries from a previous accident, a Jiffy Foods clerk was able to single-handedly fend off two armed robbers in an attempted robbery that took place early this morning.

Now it's your turn. Which lede works the best, and why?

Police: Peanut Barrel

I'm kind of surprised that none of you cited something that to me stood out like a sore thumb: the fact that the cane-wielding victim was almost 6 1/2 feet tall, while the would-be alleged robber he beat was not much over five feet tall and weighed less than half as much as the victim.

Isn't that a Peanut Barrel-type of item? Isn't that sharp contrast in size what takes an out-of-the-ordinary robbery story (unusual in that the victim beat off the attacker) and make it even more unique?

I'm not shocked that many of you didn't weave it into your ledes, because to do that is doable but a bit complex. I'm just surprised none of you noted that bit of interest.

Any explanations?

As journalists, it's important that even when we are looking at what we think is a routine event, that we are always on the lookout for something that makes it a bit different and a bit more interesting. Even if that bit of interest is buried in the nuances of a police report.

Police: Many Of You ...

. . . didn't list an exact address for Jiffy Foods.

You should have. It's news WHERE something happens, right?

Who, what, when, where, why, how.

Police: Allegedly

Some more problems with when to use allegedly.

It's not alleged that Keel entered the store. He has a face full of broken bones proving he was there. And it's not a crime to get your ass kicked (though it may be a crime to do the ass-kicking).

What is alleged is whether he pulled a knife, and tried to commit a crime.

So, where does allegedly fit in here?

DaRoza walked behind the counter for the key to the restroom when Keel followed him and exposed a knife.

Before "exposed a knife," right?

JRN 200: Multimedia Downloads Are Here!

From these hyperlinks, you can download both Journalism 2.0 (in either the English, Spanish or Portuguese versions; whatever ya want. Knock yerself out) and the Reporters Guide to Multimedia Proficiency.

Please download BOTH free texts and read each in its entirety (close to 200 pages total) before we next meet on Wednesday, Nov. 2. And thanks!

JRN 200: Did You Know ...

... after this week, we'll only have three more written practice stories to go?

That doesn't mean work is wrapping up. It just means writing will shift to what you do with your out-of-class stories, and in-class we'll be dipping into multimedia and social media journalism skills soon.

I think it'll be a fun change of pace from the grind of writing drills. That also means you should soon get free accounts set up at twitter.com, blogger.com and youtube.com. And if you have a Flip or similar video camera, keep it near 'cuz you'll need it soon.

Details pending.

911: Identification

Probably the hardest thing about this exercise for you was identification. You had competing interests at work here.

First, you should have been operating under the general journalistic premise that we do NOT name rape victims in almost all cases.

And on this point, this is where we did a bit worse than previous semesters when virtually no one did that. Here, three of you DID name the victim by name.

Earlier in this semester, we discussed when and when not to name victims in stories. In most cases we DO name victims, but a notable exception in American journalism regarded the names of rape victims.

In general, the current rule of thumb is that in weighing the benefit to society in knowing who exactly was victimized versus the harm that would come in terms of stigma to the victim, we do not name rape victims expect in rare circumstances, like a victim wanting to intentionally put a name and face to a victim to promote greater societal understanding, or a rape victim whose alleged attacker wasn't convicted in criminal court but who is facing a lawsuit for money in civil court.

This wasn't one of those times.

Then, there is the concern of making a virtual identification; that is, giving so much other information that it is easy for anybody to identify the victim.

Three of you named the victim's daughter. A daughter only has one mother, right? So that would be real easy to narrow down who the victim was if you gave the girl's name.

Also, one of you listed the exact home address where the crime took place. Only one family lives in a home, right? Again, you took a huge step in virtually identifying the victim.

Even though an exact address would expose the victim, don't readers still deserve to know where a crime took place? I mean, a story is much more relevant if it happened on your street or in your neighborhood than if it didn't. Some location is necessary to establish relevance.

A couple of you handled it in a smart way: you simply said the incident happened on Wilson Avenue. No street address included. That gave readers enough information to better set proximity, without giving away the victim's home and creating a virtual identification.

Now, what about the suspect's name? I think only under the rarest of cases would you not name the suspect. He's central to the story. As a society we need to know who among us is considered dangerous, and who among us is being locked up like a zoo animal by our authorities.

The only time in my whole journalism career when I didn't name a suspect was in a case around 1992 -- really early in my professional career -- where I was covering the trial of a teen accused of raping his own mother.

My editors went back-and-forth on how to handle it before deciding they wouldn't name the victim or the suspect, because naming the latter would identify the former. And there was a big ol' editor's note added ahead of my lede to explain their reasoning.

So exceptions are rare. Either the circumstances are amazingly twisted and unique or the suspects are juveniles and a particular media organization has rules about naming kids.

Again, this ain't one of 'em.

I also thought important to the story was noting that Caspinwall was a neighbor of the victim. Readers need to know if this crime was totally random or if there was some sort of link between the victim and attacker. Readers have more reason to worry if someone is willy-nilly breaking into random homes, as opposed to attacking a neighbor, right?

But only about half of you noted the link.

Note I say Caspinwall was a neighbor, not her direct neighbor. A neighbor -- or even better, a nearby neighbor -- could be somebody next door or down the street, right? So using neighbor in the generic doesn't necessarily narrow the possible victim pool to a single house or two.

Next, is the suspect's home address needed? I think some identification of where he lives is noteworthy. Wouldn't readers really want to know if an alleged rapist and home invader lived by them? Wouldn't you?

Also, there was something else that I think you owed the reader: an explanation of why you weren't naming the girl or listing her exact address.

Even though you're following journalistic rules, your readers probably don't know those rules and may simply be wondering, why the hell aren't there any names or exact addresses in this story? It wouldn't have hurt to have a simple background sentence somewhere in the story, like this:

The names of the girl and victim and the exact address where the crime occurred is being withheld to protect the identity of the victim.

That way, you are being transparent with readers about why they're not getting the level of information that other non-rape stories would include. A couple of you did do something along those lines.

Admittedly, this was a confusing exercise. You had many different factors tugging at you. It's really a tough situation for a young reporter to find himself or herself in. In a real-world setting, you'd definitely want to bring an editor in the loop to help make the best judgments that give the readers the most information while at the same time minimizing harm to the victim.

But here, I wanted to test your judgment and see how you responded. And I figured you''d appreciate the lesson much more if we did it this way, as opposed to just lecturing about it.

And in all fairness to you, how you handled these circumstances were a smaller-than-usual part of your assignment grade here. I gave you a break because I didn't want you to suffer a penalty on this one, but I did want you to have to think about it before we discussed it now.

Finally, this is how I would have handled it: I WOULD NOT name the victim or the girl. I WOULD name the suspect and even use HIS home address. I'd say the victim lived nearby, but I wouldn't specifically say they were direct neighbors.

That way, readers know who did this (and know exactly where the sicko lived) and the general area where the crime occurred and that it wasn't a random crime, while at the same time limiting the ability to identify who the victim was.

This is the sort of stuff you'll have to think about all the time in deciding what is teh best way to tell your story.

911: Don't Assume!

In one lede, you did assume by saying that the 911 call ended up saving her mother's life.

Now, certainly the mother was being brutally attacked. Conventional wisdom gives you the right to label that as just that, in the same way the girl's actions can be viewed as heroic based on how she dealt with a horrible situation and how conventional wisdom would view that.

But can you say the mom would have certainly died without the 911 call being made?

I don't think so. This is a stretch. You can say the girl helped rescue her mother or helped apprehend her attacker, because those are based on facts. We simply don't have enough information to judge whether she would have been killed or just brutalized.

In another instance, you made an assumption that the victim was someone the attacker had personally known.

You did know the victim was the suspect's neighbor, but does that automatically mean the knew each other? I mean, I don't know my neighbors. Maybe that's because I'm an asshole, but the rapist doesn't sound like the nicest neighbor, either.

Again, you're going a step further than the evidence at hand allows.Either get a clarification from sources that establishes your premise or back off to a claim better supported by the facts in hand.

911: Did You Know ...

... the copy-editing symbol for adding a comma to a sentence is an insert symbol and a comma, which tends to look like a little arrow?

I'm not sure many of you checked your copy-editing guide sheet to verify that, since so many people seem to be making repeated comma errors.

Also, the curly squiggle means you should delete any punctuation it touches. The squiggle looks like a little curly fry.

So if you have a squiggle connecting to a period and then there's that little arrow, what I'm trying to tell you is to replace the period with the comma.

911: Explain For Your Readers

When one of you decided to leave the little girl's name out of this, you mentioned this in an early attribution:

The girl, whose name will remain anonymous to protect the victim, said ...

You are doing something out of the ordinary (leaving someone's name out) and you are being transparent with your readers (by explaining why).

Good job!

911: Say What You Mean; Mean What You Say

This lede says something you didn't mean to say. Let's read it literally:

An East Lansing man was arrested today for allegedly raping his neighbor in response to a brave 6-year-old's 911 call placed to the East Lansing Police Department.

What you just said the rape was in response to the 911 call. What you mean to say was that the man was arrested due to the 911 call, like this:

An East Lansing man who allegedly raped his neighbor was arrested in response to a brave 6-year-old's 911 call placed to the East Lansing Police Department.

Let's ignore that the sentence is a bit run-onish. Now, improved word order better recognized the sequence of events while minimizing the chance of any reader confusion.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

911: Write With (AP) Style

Is it six-year-old girl with six spelled out, or is six in numeric form, like this: 6-year-old girl.

It's the latter. In AP Style under ages:

Always use figures.

Yes, the general number rule is spell out numbers under 10, and use numerals for 10 and over. But age is an exception. So are numbers used at the start of a sentence, which are always spelled out.

Remember these and the other exceptions we've noted through this semester.

911: Allegedly

Some confusion on what was alleged here.

Is it alleged that the woman was raped? No. She was raped. Someone broke into her house and raped her. That much was clearly established.

What is alleged is who raped her. A man did, obviously. But it's alleged that it was Andrew Caspinwall.

So you should say Caspinwall allegedly raped the victim. Or the victim was raped, allegedly by Caspinwall. Or that the girl said a man, alleged to be Caspinwall, did this and that.

Is Caspinwall allegedly charged with rape? No. He is charged with rape. That's the name of the charge he's facing. It's a bit confusing in this exercise because the name of the charge and the action he is alleged to have done are the same: rape.

So, let's imagine instead of allegedly raping the woman, Caspinwall stabbed her to death. Caspinwall would be charged with murder, since that's the name of the charge which he will face in court. He's a murder defendant. The charge of murder came because he allegedly stabbed a woman to death.

The action is alleged. The charge is simply the label of the law which he is alleged to have broken.

I know this is confusing. Does this help?

911: Quotes

A big part of this story -- if not the central focus of this story -- was the little girl's bravery. And you had some telling quotes in the 911 transcript, like these:

Somebody's hurting my mommy.

Hurry. My mommy's crying.

My mommy. What'll happen to my mommy?

I'm afraid. Will he hurt me, too?

Great quotes. They're telling. They set context in a special way -- they sound like things you'd imagine a 6-year-old girl would say, right?

Yet some of you didn't use any quotes in your articles!

We've talked about the concept of showing and not just telling readers; that is, don't just tell them something happened; show them the proof.

Those quotes are the "show" part. Don't be afraid to use quotes that support and prove your key points.

Also, the quotes also humanize the story. It's not the dry legal jargon of a crime taking place; it's the quivering voice of a scared little girl. It emphasizes people, and when it comes down to it, all stories are not crime stories or business stories or political stories; they are all people stories -- stories about what happened to people, or what people did, or what may affect people.

Let the humanity shine through in your stories, when possible. Such quotes aren't necessary, but they do help.

Out Of Class #2: Extra Credit Options

. . . because it never hurts to get extra credit:

FOR GETTING AN OUT-OF-CLASS STORY PUBLISHED, I will replace your out of class story grade (which is the average between your original version and your rewrite grade) with the higher grade. If your grade was the same with both versions, I will add up to o.5 to your grade, up to the grade becoming a 4.0.

For me to count your extra credit, you need to submit to me a published copy of your work or email me a Web link to your work, along with an email request to have it applied to extra credit.

FOR DOING A FOURTH OUT-OF-CLASS STORY, I will apply points up to that equal to an out-of-class story to your final grade. (An out-of-class story is equal to about 12 percent of your final grade in this class.)

FOR DOING AN OUT-OF-CLASS MINI-STORY -- which can be between 400 and 600 words, with a minimum of two human sources, in which you can cover ANY sort of event (subject t my approval) like a student group meeting or a speaker on-campus -- I will replace your two lowest practice story grades with 4.0s.

FOR GETTING THE MINI-STORY PUBLISHED, I will replace two more lowest-scoring practice stories with 4.0s.

I will also consider other extra-credit projects on a case-by-case basis. Please see me during my office hours to work out other extra-credit assignments.

THE COMMON DENOMINATOR IN ALL EXTRA CREDIT ASSIGNMENTS is that you are demonstrating to me that you can now correctly apply skills learned in this class that at one time you did not apply as well; that you went above and beyond what we are learning in this class to further educate yourself in journalism; and/or you are demonstrating ability learned on your own prior to this class but applicable here. You can expect any ad hoc extra credit beyond the assignments listed here to include at least one of those components.

I don't care if you messed up earlier; show me you can get it right now and I'm happy to replace earlier grades with something more accurately reflecting where you are at NOW.

I just want to be clear on this one point regarding extra credit: extra credit will be applied to replace the grades of assignments you have actually done, including fataled assignments.

Extra credit will NOT be applied to assignments that you did not turn in, or in which you had a time fatal.

So if you were thinking of skipping an assignment or two toward the end of the semester by pre-emptively turning in some extra credit, that plan won't work.

Meeting: Fatals

Let's update the fatal tally!

In the meeting assignment, the number of fatals we had were ... uh, none.

This is the earliest in any semester a class of mine has had a fatal-free assignment. Congrats!

Meeting: End Result/Ultimate Outcome

The best ledes start with the ending.

That is, a great lede is hooked on end result and ultimate outcome: how did things end? What was the final outcome? Was it happily ever after, or not?

In this case, the end result as the council action: it ultimately decided to donate land for the homeless shelter.

So this lede fell short:

The Grand Ledge City Council held a meeting yesterday regarding the proposal to build a homeless shelter on Garland Avenue.

Let's repeat the football analogy: this would be akin to writing a lede like, The Michigan State football team played a game yesterday against Notre Dame. The news isn't that something took place; it's what resulted at whatever took place. In the case of the game, it's who won or lost. In the case of the council, it's how they voted and what action they took.

This lede wasn't much better:

Last night, the Grand Ledge City Council held a meeting to vote on the donation and construction of a homeless shelter where the old fire station once stood on Garland Avenue.

Again, let's translate this to footballese: Last night, the Michigan State football team hoped to beat Notre Dame. It takes a step in the right direction by noting intent, but still falls way short of ultimate outcome.

This lede gets to ultimate outcome, but never says what the ultimate outcome was!

A decision has been made on the plan to continue producing housing for homeless people who populate Grand Ledge.

This might have been acceptable if your nut graf said what the decision was. But while the nut graf said the council voted on whether to donate land and that the decision as a majority vote, it never said whether they voted to donate or not donate land until the last graf!

That would be like holding off on saying who won the football game until the last graf, when this was your lede: A winner has finally emerged from the Michigan State-Notre Dame football game. Simply not good.

And very serious. Ledes that fail to address how things ended up and where things are at now are confusing and less-than-useful to readers. It defeats the purpose of journalism, which is to sum things up and update readers to the latest and newest happenings. In that regard, even if your story was otherwise well-written, I severely docked you for missing your lede or "burying" your lede well within a story.

This lede closes the job, like a lede saying, Michigan State's football team beat Notre Dame 147-0 last night would:

The Grand Ledge City Council voted 6-1 in a meeting yesterday to donate a former fire station site, valued at $500,000, to a project for a new homeless shelter.

Plus, here's a good lede/nut graf combo, where the nut graf further detailed from the lede the what (vote = 6-1) and why (land donation = old fire house) and added the why:

The Grand Ledge City Council voted yesterday to approve a land donation to the Coalition for the Homeless, Inc. valued at $500,000.

The City Council voted 6-1 to donate land to the coalition to build a new shelter at the old fire station on Garland Avenue for the homeless after the old shelter, the First United Methodist Church, became overcrowded and couldn't afford housing and feeding all of the homeless people.

You can't have a good story without a good lede, folks.

Meeting: Who Cares ...

... who spoke first, second or third at the meeting? Does that really impact reader understanding of the story at all?

In this case, I would argue it does not. Listing who spoke first or last or whenever doesn't matter and just wastes space.

Likewise, you should rarely -- if ever -- rank the use of quotes by the order in which people spoke. You use your best and most telling quotes first, regardless of when the person spoke.

You're not simply taking dictation; you are ranking information from most important to least.

Meeting; Second Refernces & Acronyms

Many of you referred to the Coalition for the Homeless, Inc. and the Grand Ledge City Council in first reference. And in most first cases, it's best to spell out the full title of an entity.

But how do you handle subsequent references?

You have a few options. One is to refer to the coalition or council in the generic, like I just did: as the coalition and council, lower-cased. Or you can call the former the homeless group, or whatever generic identifier is clearly in reference to such an organization.

A second option would be to consider using an acronym, if there is a common acronym for the group. An acronym is a word formed from the first letter or letters of a series of words, such as MSU (which is the acronym for Michigan State University).

If an acronym is well-known -- like NASA or FBI or USA -- then generally it is acceptable in a second reference, or even in a first reference.

This is where I'm going to refer you back to AP Style. Please carefully read and review the listing for abbreviations and acronyms.

Meeting: You Don't Need "That"

Look at this sentence:

The coalition asked that the site be valued at $500,000 and then they would raise $1.5 million that they needed to construct the shelter.

Now, look at this sentence:

The coalition asked the site be valued at $500,000 and then they would raise $1.5 million they needed to construct the shelter.

Is there any difference, except for the removal of two references to "that"?

Quite often, "that" is unnecessary. Try removing "that" and see if your sentences still read as complete sentences. If so, leave "that" out.

In many of your graded returned assignments, I've scratced out your uses of "that." See how those deletions don't change anything.

Meeting: writing With (AP) Style

Is it Lieutenant Luis Rafelson or Lt. Luis Rafelson?

It's Lt. AP Style, under "military title," offers a list of such titles that should be abbreviated. Lieutenant is on that list.

Additionally, it offers a subhed of "firefighters, police officers" which says this:

Use the abbreviations listed here when a military-style title is used before the name of a firefighter or police officer outside a direct quotation.

Out Of Class #1: A Rewrite Reminder

When turning in your rewrite, PLEASE BE SURE to also turn in the original graded copy of your out of class story so I can see what changes you needed to make, and what changes you actually made.

Thanks!

Speech: The News Is The News!

Make sure you state not just that something took place, but what it was precisely that took place. This otherw0ise-solid lede did not:

U.S. Surgeon General Tom Izzo spoke at a Michigan PTA convention in Detroit on Sunday evening about the issue of alcohol consumption among adolescents.

The problem here is you don't know what he said. Did he say he thought it was bad or great? That he thought it was awful? Or that he encourages all kids to get blotto?

You simply don't know based on what you offer. This next lede was much clearer:

U.S. Surgeon General Tom Izzo criticized the alcohol industry for targeting Halloween as their latest marketing opportunity at the Michigan PAT convention in Detroit Sunday.

Note how it doesn't just say Izzo spoke about the alcohol industry; it says he criticized it. Correctly finding and using such a word to describe the contents of what he said is teh difference between a vague lede and an exact one.

Finally, just for the hell of it, let's look at what I thought was a very nice lede/nut graf/telling quote combo:

U.S. Surgeon General Tom Izzo delivered a passionate speech condemning the alcohol industry’s target of the traditional children’s holiday, Halloween, at the Michigan Parent Teacher Association meeting in Detroit last night.

In the speech, Izzo shared his concern of the alcohol industry’s festive marketing techniques this year and how it’s association with Halloween is promoting dangerous alcohol consumption among youth.

“This year the alcohol industry has given new meaning to those innocent words of childhood. They are serving up new treats –and new tricks,” said Izzo.

So much to like here. First, a specific lede that I think fairly uses the work passionate. That word isn't based on your opinion; rather, it's based on your viewing his words in whole through conventional wisdom and factual basis. His argument had an edge to it, right? So, you're not offering an opinion, but an analysis.

That's the difference. An opinion is based on your feelings. Analysis is based on your reasonable interpretation of facts.

Second, the nut graf expands upon the lede. The lede says Izzo condemned the alcohol industry; the nut graf says how and why -- because of its marketing that promotes kids drinking.

Finally, you bring things full circle with your telling quote, so that readers don't have to take your word for it that Izzo was passionate and condemning -- you show the reader Izzo's words.

Nice work. It's no accident the latter story received the highest grade I've handed out on a practice story sofar this term.

Speech: Only Two Fatals!

Which is great! Unless you're the one with the fatal.

And here they are: first, you misspelled Izzo in one place as Izoo.

That's all it takes. Double-check all your name uses, even if it's the same name being used over and over again.

Second, you said the speech took place Sunday morning. In fact, it took place at 8 p.m. at night.

Again, please make sure you double-check all the numbers before and after writing to ensure what you write and wrote is consistent with the information from which you are working.

For those of you keeping score at home, 16 of 21 people in here have now fataled. Only five to go.

Speech: No First Person!

In journalism, we do not use first-person references outside of quotes.

That means if you are writing about problems facing our youths, you need to take out the "our" and either leave it unfilled or replace it with something that's non-first-personish, like the nation's youths.

Using first-person references betray our standing as unbiased observers with no personal stake in the outcome.

Our, we, I ... if not in a quote, take it out.

Speech: If This Were A Real Story ...

. . . who, if anybody, would you contact for reaction/rebuttals/comment after the meeting?

Speech: How Did You Know ...

. . . this?

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 4.6 million teenagers have a drinking problem.

This is kind of a trick question. You DON'T know this because the NIAAA told you, or because you read their report. You know it because Izzo cited the report, right?

So, correct attribution would be something like this:

Izzo said 4.6 million teenagers have a drinking problem, citing National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism figures.

Speech: Good Quote!

This one was:

"Let us not make this year, the year they robbed the kids of Halloween," Izzo said. "For their sake and our own, let us keep Halloween sane, safe -- and sober."

Telling quote. It really got to the point of what many of you hooked your stories upon.

Then why did so many of you use it late in your stories?

The better a quote and the more it directly supports your central premise of key premises of your story, the more prominent and higher up that quote should be.

Many of you ended your stories with a great quote, like this one. I get the feeling that you're trying to create what in writing is called a satisfying ending; one that offers a conclusion.

In traditional English composition, such a conclusion is necessary. In journalism, since we start with the conclusion it is not. On most regular straight news stories, it's completely fine to simply let the story trail off, even if it seems like the ending is abrupt.

If you're writing in inverted pyramid style, you rank information in the order of importance, so your story should essentially trail off. If you're writing a chronology, you can stop writing just short of the conclusion since your reader will already know how things ended; they learned that in the lede.

The notable exception would be if you were writing some sort of feature narrative, which we really don't get into in this class. So, nyah.

Speech: Writing With (AP) Style

Is it an eighth-grader or an 8th-grader or an eighth grader?

It's the middle one. AP Style, under grade, grader:

Hyphenate in combining forms: a fourth-grade pupil, a 12th-grade student, first-grader, 10th-grader.

Note there is no exception made from the general AP numbers rule of spell out numbers under 10, and use digits for 10 and above. Also note that the examples given appear to adhere to that rule.

Now, in first reference is it PTA or Parent-Teacher Association? Did anybody look under PTA?

Finally, if the number is at the start of a sentence, do you spell it out regardless? You tell me. We've been over this one time and time again.

Please review AP Style under grade, grader and numerals.

Is it Detroit, Michigan, or just Detroit?

It's the latter. Under "Detroit":

The city in Michigan stands alone in datelines.

And under "cities and towns":

See datelines for guidelines on when they should be followed by a state or country name.

There ya go.

Out Of Class #1: Why Attribution Is Important

One reason is because you wouldn't want to be labeled a plagiarist. From gawker.com (link here):

Please confirm your birth date:

Please enter a valid date

Please enter your full birth year

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Politico Gets Its Very Own Plagiarism Scandal

At long last, little local DC trade newspaper Politico has its very own Jayson Blair-type uproar! Short version: Politico reporter Kendra Marr was apparently a serial plagiarist.

In an admirably direct editor's note, Politico says that a complaint from a New York Times writer earlier this week prompted an internal investigation, followed by Marr's resignation yesterday.

This examination produced other examples of stories on transportation issues that bore troubling similarities to work earlier published by others. Some of these examples involved specific turns of phrase or passages that bore close resemblance to work published elsewhere. Others involved similarities in the way stories were organized to present their findings.

None of these examples represented invention of quotes, scenes, or other material

So, Marr was perhaps more of a serial summarizer-without-attribution than a Blair-level fabricator. Politico has posted links to seven of her stories which required corrections; Romenesko has posted information on Marr's background.

You messed up bad, Kendra. But it only takes five years to be forgiven for anything. We wish you luck in your next career.

[Photo via Politico]

... and here's a more straight-forward account from the Web site of the Poynter Institute, a well-regarded journalism think tank:

Politico reporter Kendra Marr resigns over plagiarism of at least 7 stories

Julie Moos, Oct. 13, 2011 11:46 pm

Reporter Kendra Marr resigned her position Thursday after a New York Times reporter alerted editors to similarities between his transportation policy story and Marr's story. Editors examined more of Marr's work and discovered at least seven instances in which "specific turns of phrase or passages ... bore close resemblance to work published elsewhere. Others involved similarities in the way stories were organized to present their findings. ... Material published in our pages borrowed from the work of others, without attribution, in ways which we cannot defend and will not tolerate."

In a prominent editor's note by John Harris and Jim VandeHei, Politico linked to the seven transportation-related stories written by Marr that were amended Thursday to include proper attribution. The stories also carry editor's notes that explain the changes. Based on the editor's notes appended to stories, material was used from these sources without proper credit:

Scripps Howard (twice)
The New York Times (four separate times)
Greenwire
NJ.com and The Associated Press (twice)
The Hill
The Journal of Commerce

Six of the stories were published between Sept. 19 and Oct. 10. One of the stories was published July 28.

Marr's LinkedIn profile says she joined Politico in August 2009 after two years as a staff writer at The Washington Post. Her Politico bio says the San Francisco native covered financial news for the Post, including the auto industry, and that her work also appeared in the San Jose Mercury News, The Orange County Register and The Miami Herald. Marr graduated from Northwestern in 2007. In November 2006, Marr was a student of David Protess at Northwestern.

During that time, as part of Medill's Innocence Project, Marr claimed to be a U.S. census worker in order to locate a witness in a murder case. Marr told the Chicago Tribune in May of this year that "she regrets using deception."

"I was a student in the class, and I wish I hadn't done it," Marr said. "It wasn't my idea, and as a professional journalist, I haven't misrepresented myself since, nor do I intend to ever again." Protess said the deception was the idea of Sergio Serritella, a private investigator then working as a teaching assistant with the Medill Innocence Project. "At the time, there was no law that prevented them from doing that," Protess said. "When I found out it was legal and legitimate, I gave it the green light."

Protess' 30-year career at Northwestern has ended, and the university has agreed to release emails he exchanged with student journalists working on the Innocence Project.

Missing word: Craig Silverman says VandeHei and Harris' note "is notable for the fact that is never uses the word plagiarism, even though it’s explicitly about a case of serial plagiarism."

Link to the Poynter article here.