A big part of this story -- if not the central focus of this story -- was the little girl's bravery. And you had some telling quotes in the 911 transcript, like these:
Somebody's hurting my mommy.
Hurry. My mommy's crying.
My mommy. What'll happen to my mommy?
I'm afraid. Will he hurt me, too?
Great quotes. They're telling. They set context in a special way -- they sound like things you'd imagine a 6-year-old girl would say, right?
Yet some of you didn't use any quotes in your articles!
We've talked about the concept of showing and not just telling readers; that is, don't just tell them something happened; show them the proof.
Those quotes are the "show" part. Don't be afraid to use quotes that support and prove your key points.
Also, the quotes also humanize the story. It's not the dry legal jargon of a crime taking place; it's the quivering voice of a scared little girl. It emphasizes people, and when it comes down to it, all stories are not crime stories or business stories or political stories; they are all people stories -- stories about what happened to people, or what people did, or what may affect people.
Let the humanity shine through in your stories, when possible. Such quotes aren't necessary, but they do help.
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