As you mat recall, Wednesday's homework assignment was due at 11 p.m. that night, meaning my email account had to have received your story before the clock struck 11.
And the last story was received at 10:59:09 p.m.
That's 51 seconds before deadline.
Gulp!
That's cutting it really close. Try giving yourselves a bit of a time cushion, will ya?
Here's the most practical reason why: any assignment turned in after a deadline passes -- even if it's just a few seconds late -- automatically gets a zero.
Again, I'm not enforcing deadlines to be a Nazi. Rather, it's to reinforce the habit of never missing a deadline, and always making sure you're giving yourself enough wiggle room to make deadlines each and every time.
Like I've said before, if you're writing scripts for the 11 o'clock news, your scripts have to be in front of your anchors by 11 p.m., and not a minute later. The anchor doesn't have the option of telling the audience, "Hey, just hold on a minute; we're still working on our scripts." But the news director does have the option of firing you.
That's why we're trying to work on your deadline habit now, so you avoid a bigger and costlier missed deadline later.
You could always do extra credit here to make up for a time fatal. Getting a new job after you get fired with cause from your old one is a bit harder to do.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
School/Squirrels: Fatals Suck
Sorry to say we had three fatals on these exercises. Here the one that was with the schools exercise. it is:
The East Lansing School Board proposed the band after receiving complaints from parents from both the home and away districts.
Now, you meant to say ban, not band. But in this case, the misspelling creates a new word that's correctly spelled, and changes meaning. The district did not propose a band.
And it's a harsh reminder that you need to eyeball your story in addition to running spell check. Spell check will not catch words that as a misspelling creates a new and unintended word that is spelled correctly.
We had two with the squirrels story. In one, you misspelled the last name of the LCC dietitican as Ruffenbock, instead of the correct Ruffenboch. That is a fatal. Please make sure you are double-checking the spellings of all names and titles to make sure what you wrote matches up with what you have in your notes (or, in this case, your textbook).
Please make sure you are double-checking the spellings of all names and titles to make sure what you wrote matches up with what you have in your notes (or, in this case, your textbook).
In the other fatal, you referred to the school two different ways: as Lake Lansing Community College, and just Lansing Community College. Not only could this fatal have been caught by comparing it against your notes, it also could have been caught by thoroughly reviewing your written work before turning it in and discovering you had two different titles for the same thing. One has to be wrong, right?
I'm sorry we had some fatals. But it's not unexpected in the first few writing assignments. Not at all. You're still getting comfortable with balancing two competing needs: meeting your deadline and being accurate. Those are two tough things to combine. But that's the job.
And that's why we have practice stories: so you have opportunities to build and refine good writing and fact-checking habits and to find an ideal balance between the two, in situations that are relatively low-weight when it comes to your final grade.
What I've typically seen is a spate of fatals in the first half of any term, and then a sudden and steep decrease in the second half. I've had people who just about fataled every writing assignment in the first half who were perfect in the second. We're working fatals out of your system right now.
So while it's frustrating, don't get frustrated. Work on your good habits. Do away with the bad ones. Balance the clock and accuracy. Refer to the fact-checking checklist handout I distributed earlier this term. Take advantage of extra credit opportunities to make your fatals go away (and you will have such opportunities).
Let's not fret over this. Let's learn from this, and apply those lessons going forward. That's why we do practice stories.
The East Lansing School Board proposed the band after receiving complaints from parents from both the home and away districts.
Now, you meant to say ban, not band. But in this case, the misspelling creates a new word that's correctly spelled, and changes meaning. The district did not propose a band.
And it's a harsh reminder that you need to eyeball your story in addition to running spell check. Spell check will not catch words that as a misspelling creates a new and unintended word that is spelled correctly.
We had two with the squirrels story. In one, you misspelled the last name of the LCC dietitican as Ruffenbock, instead of the correct Ruffenboch. That is a fatal. Please make sure you are double-checking the spellings of all names and titles to make sure what you wrote matches up with what you have in your notes (or, in this case, your textbook).
Please make sure you are double-checking the spellings of all names and titles to make sure what you wrote matches up with what you have in your notes (or, in this case, your textbook).
In the other fatal, you referred to the school two different ways: as Lake Lansing Community College, and just Lansing Community College. Not only could this fatal have been caught by comparing it against your notes, it also could have been caught by thoroughly reviewing your written work before turning it in and discovering you had two different titles for the same thing. One has to be wrong, right?
I'm sorry we had some fatals. But it's not unexpected in the first few writing assignments. Not at all. You're still getting comfortable with balancing two competing needs: meeting your deadline and being accurate. Those are two tough things to combine. But that's the job.
And that's why we have practice stories: so you have opportunities to build and refine good writing and fact-checking habits and to find an ideal balance between the two, in situations that are relatively low-weight when it comes to your final grade.
What I've typically seen is a spate of fatals in the first half of any term, and then a sudden and steep decrease in the second half. I've had people who just about fataled every writing assignment in the first half who were perfect in the second. We're working fatals out of your system right now.
So while it's frustrating, don't get frustrated. Work on your good habits. Do away with the bad ones. Balance the clock and accuracy. Refer to the fact-checking checklist handout I distributed earlier this term. Take advantage of extra credit opportunities to make your fatals go away (and you will have such opportunities).
Let's not fret over this. Let's learn from this, and apply those lessons going forward. That's why we do practice stories.
School/Squirrles: Writing With (AP) Style
On first reference, you use a first and last name: John Smith. But what do you do on a second and subsequent references?
Here is AP Style, under names:
In general, use only last names on second reference.
But what if there is more than one person with the same last name? AP Style has that covered, too. Also under names:
When it is necessary to distinguish between two people who use the same last name, as in married couples or brothers and sisters, use the first and last name.
So in the case of Sandra Adler, who was talking about her daughter -- presumably with the same last name -- it would be Sandra Adler in all references. If her daughter wasn't in the picture, it would simply be Adler in all references after the first.
Either way, try not to use just a first name on any reference.
Also, does punctuation go inside a quote, like this:
"I rule," Omar said.
or outside, like this:
"I rule", Omar said.
It's the former. Punctuation goes inside a quote.
Now, let's talk about titles.
If someone's title precedes their name, then you capitalize: East Lansing Athletic Director Hugh Baker
If someone's title follows their name, then it's lower-case: Hugh Baker, East Lansing athletic director
Also, titles in most cases should not be included after a first reference. You may start out by saying Professor Laura Ruffenboch, but in subsequent references it's just Ruffenboch, minus the professor and Laura.
If you're referring to an organization by formal title, then it's usually caps: the East Lansing School Board
However, on second reference -- once you've established what group you're referring to -- you can use a generic title in lower-case: the school board
And if you break up the title or rearrange the sequence in an informal way, then drop to lower-case: the school board in East Lansing
Here is AP Style, under names:
In general, use only last names on second reference.
But what if there is more than one person with the same last name? AP Style has that covered, too. Also under names:
When it is necessary to distinguish between two people who use the same last name, as in married couples or brothers and sisters, use the first and last name.
So in the case of Sandra Adler, who was talking about her daughter -- presumably with the same last name -- it would be Sandra Adler in all references. If her daughter wasn't in the picture, it would simply be Adler in all references after the first.
Either way, try not to use just a first name on any reference.
Also, does punctuation go inside a quote, like this:
"I rule," Omar said.
or outside, like this:
"I rule", Omar said.
It's the former. Punctuation goes inside a quote.
Now, let's talk about titles.
If someone's title precedes their name, then you capitalize: East Lansing Athletic Director Hugh Baker
If someone's title follows their name, then it's lower-case: Hugh Baker, East Lansing athletic director
Also, titles in most cases should not be included after a first reference. You may start out by saying Professor Laura Ruffenboch, but in subsequent references it's just Ruffenboch, minus the professor and Laura.
If you're referring to an organization by formal title, then it's usually caps: the East Lansing School Board
However, on second reference -- once you've established what group you're referring to -- you can use a generic title in lower-case: the school board
And if you break up the title or rearrange the sequence in an informal way, then drop to lower-case: the school board in East Lansing
Squirrels: Watch Your Wordiness
I have a big example and a small example.
First, the big one. This is what one of you wrote:
Laura Ruffenboch, a wildlife professor at LCC, has attempted to shed some light as to why this odd set of circumstances has come about. Ruffenboch said that many electrical wires are made from soybean derivatives, making them attractive to squirrels.
Let's look at the first sentence. It's something I call an empty sentence, in which you're not saying anything. All you're saying is that there's something to say, and then you say the specifics in the next sentence.
So, why not get rid of that first sentence and move its full attribution to the second sentence, like this:
Laura Ruffenboch, a wildlife professor at LCC, said that many electrical wires are made from soybean derivatives, making them attractive to squirrels.
What's missing in terms of meaning and context and facts? Nothing. Just the wordiness is gone.
Now, here's a small example. Why say professor of English at LCC Oliver Brookes when you can reverse word order in the title and call him LCC English professor Oliver Brookes?
First, the big one. This is what one of you wrote:
Laura Ruffenboch, a wildlife professor at LCC, has attempted to shed some light as to why this odd set of circumstances has come about. Ruffenboch said that many electrical wires are made from soybean derivatives, making them attractive to squirrels.
Let's look at the first sentence. It's something I call an empty sentence, in which you're not saying anything. All you're saying is that there's something to say, and then you say the specifics in the next sentence.
So, why not get rid of that first sentence and move its full attribution to the second sentence, like this:
Laura Ruffenboch, a wildlife professor at LCC, said that many electrical wires are made from soybean derivatives, making them attractive to squirrels.
What's missing in terms of meaning and context and facts? Nothing. Just the wordiness is gone.
Now, here's a small example. Why say professor of English at LCC Oliver Brookes when you can reverse word order in the title and call him LCC English professor Oliver Brookes?
Squirrles: How Do You Know ...
... Brookes spent $184 to get his car's wiring replaced?
Were you there when he had the wiring replaced? No.
Did you pay for the repair bill? No.
So, how do you know?
It's because he said so, right?
So, why not let readers know your sourcing? Brookes said he spent $184 to get his car's wiring replaced?
How do you know Kasparov was driving home one night when her car fritzed out? Because she said! So add "she said" as attribution.
How do you know how her mechanic found squirrels under the hood? Because she said!
Pretty much everything not witnessed by you should have some sort of attribution. He said; she said; according to records; whatever.
Make sure you have properly attributed everything in your story. Basically, every paragraph after the lede and nut graf should have some sort of attribution affixed to it.
I know that's gonna look a bit weird, having graf after graf with so-and-so said this and this other dude said that and so on. But we do it as journalists to make sure that readers know exactly where we got our information. It promotes transparency and illustrates the factual basis for a story.
Over the next few days, when you're doing your daily newspaper readings please note attribution. See how frequent it is. See how writers offer it. Get a sense of how it's supposed to look in a finished product.
And don't fret too much. Just about everybody failed to have an adequate level of attribution. Not uncommon for a young reporter, but something that needs to be fixed, pronto.
Were you there when he had the wiring replaced? No.
Did you pay for the repair bill? No.
So, how do you know?
It's because he said so, right?
So, why not let readers know your sourcing? Brookes said he spent $184 to get his car's wiring replaced?
How do you know Kasparov was driving home one night when her car fritzed out? Because she said! So add "she said" as attribution.
How do you know how her mechanic found squirrels under the hood? Because she said!
Pretty much everything not witnessed by you should have some sort of attribution. He said; she said; according to records; whatever.
Make sure you have properly attributed everything in your story. Basically, every paragraph after the lede and nut graf should have some sort of attribution affixed to it.
I know that's gonna look a bit weird, having graf after graf with so-and-so said this and this other dude said that and so on. But we do it as journalists to make sure that readers know exactly where we got our information. It promotes transparency and illustrates the factual basis for a story.
Over the next few days, when you're doing your daily newspaper readings please note attribution. See how frequent it is. See how writers offer it. Get a sense of how it's supposed to look in a finished product.
And don't fret too much. Just about everybody failed to have an adequate level of attribution. Not uncommon for a young reporter, but something that needs to be fixed, pronto.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
School: Be Efficient With Words
It's important that you look for unnecessary words and strip those out of your work. Like in this lede:
The East Lansing School Board has made a decision on Tuesday to implement a ban to no longer allow boys from competing in girls' sports.
It's a good lede, but wordy. First, do you need to say has made a decision to when just saying decided would suffice?
Second, isn't saying implement a ban and no longer allow the same thing? I'd get rid of one of those, or even both. After all, doesn't ban say all that in just one word? What we have left is this:
The East Lansing School Board decided Tuesday to ban boys from competing in girls' sports.
Is there any difference in meaning or context or detail than the first lede? I'd say not. It's just a lot shorter and less wordy.
The East Lansing School Board has made a decision on Tuesday to implement a ban to no longer allow boys from competing in girls' sports.
It's a good lede, but wordy. First, do you need to say has made a decision to when just saying decided would suffice?
Second, isn't saying implement a ban and no longer allow the same thing? I'd get rid of one of those, or even both. After all, doesn't ban say all that in just one word? What we have left is this:
The East Lansing School Board decided Tuesday to ban boys from competing in girls' sports.
Is there any difference in meaning or context or detail than the first lede? I'd say not. It's just a lot shorter and less wordy.
School: A Good Lede/Nut Graf Sequence
Let's take a look at this lede/but graf/body grouping.
The East Lansing School Board unanimously voted Tuesday night to ban boys from playing on girls' teams, after concerns were raised that male athletes could pose a hazard for female players.
The policy, which will take effect immediately, was implemented after four boys made the East Lansing High School girls' field hockey team. Many teams from opposing schools forfeited their games in order to avoid the possibility of their players being injured by the male athletes.
After receiving complaints in home and away districts, school board member Jane Tribitt decided it was time for a policy change.
"The boys are just too big and physical and it intimidates the girls on the team," Tribitt said. "It is a matter of safety."
Senior Jacob Stevens, who played on the field hockey team, thinks the policy is unfair and while he was on the team, none of the girls complained about his presence, he said.
East Lansing High School Athletic Director Hugh Baker said he believes the policy will hurt the school's athletics program, because the school would have to forfeit games against teams with male players due to safety concerns.
"It would be unfair to force our field hockey team to have a losing record every year because it has to forfeit all those games," Baker said.
East Lansing resident Sandra Adler, who has a daughter on the field hockey team, is in favor of the new policy.
"I just don't think it's healthy mentally or physically to have the boys and girls playing on the same team," Adler said.
First, you have a nice lede that says what happened (boys were banned), when it happened (Tuesday), who did the decision making (the board) and who is going to be affected (boys), and why it was made (safety concerns).
Then the nut graf expands on that: it says exactly when the decision takes effect (immediately), and exactly why it was made (after four boys were on the team, and it forced other schools to forfeit games).
It mines a second layer of supporting info that is helpful for the reader to have to make sense of what happened.
You start with getting a paraphrase from a board member -- a decision-maker on this issue -- on why she voted yes; then you pair it with a related quote.
Then, you get an opposing viewpoint -- that from an affected player -- and pair that with a related quote.
Then, you get the perspective of someone caught in the middle -- the athletic director, who opposes the policy but is responsible for enforcing it -- followed by a related quote.
Then, you wrap it up with an outside but relevant viewpoint; that of a parent of a athlete. And you also pair it with a related quote.
So you have a lede that meets the Peanut Barrel rule; a nut graf that helps expand on the lede and provide a pivot into the greater story; and then information sets in descending order of criticality to the story, each paired with quotes.
What do you think of the job done here?
School: Break Up Those Grafs!
In journalism, we generally try to write in very short paragraphs.
What we try to do is limit a paragraph to one main idea OR one
supporting idea OR one fact to support an idea. Not all of the above.
In general, that means many paragraphs will be just one or two sentences; the exact opposite of English comp writing styles that encourage massive paragraphs.
Let's look at this example of a mega-graf that can easily be cut up:
Now, each unit of thought and each unit of supporting information has its own graf. It's easier for readers to pick out each independent thought or supporting fact. It's easier for editors to identify key points and supporting info, and find where such facts and info are lacking.
Okay, this single graf contains several elements: the first sentence is a quote from one source. The second sentence is a fact that provides evidence to support the quote's position. The third and fourth introduce and allow a quote from a second source. The final sentence offers a new level of detail that helps build upon the quote.
So, you can break this graf up into four separate grafs, like this:
Now, each unit of thought or supporting bit of evidence has its own graf. Now, it's easier for readers to identify each key point, in the same way an outline allows readers to visualize key points in a text-heavy draft. Now, it's easier for editors to identify key points, or the lack thereof.
I know it's gonna look weird, given years and years of bad English comp habits that you've picked up. But this is how we write in journalism. It's a more practical style for writers, editors and readers.
And FYI, if you see on your graded assignments that I wrote an L-shaped symbol at the start of a sentence, that is the copy-editing symbol for starting a new graf.
In general, that means many paragraphs will be just one or two sentences; the exact opposite of English comp writing styles that encourage massive paragraphs.
Let's look at this example of a mega-graf that can easily be cut up:
High
school athletic director Hugh Baker told the board, “If safety is the
issue of concern for the board, then our girls teams would have forfeit
games if there are boys on the opposing teams." Last year alone the team
would have had to forfeit 10 of the 18 games, therefore creating a
losing record every year. Many think its very unfair, including Jacob
Stevens. Stevens, a senior at ELHS said, “I don’t think it is fair. There
are countries in the world where men’s field hockey is a recognized
sport. Not every guy wants to play football, basketball, or baseball."
Stevens was really looking forward to playing on the team his senior
year.
Now, each unit of thought and each unit of supporting information has its own graf. It's easier for readers to pick out each independent thought or supporting fact. It's easier for editors to identify key points and supporting info, and find where such facts and info are lacking.
Okay, this single graf contains several elements: the first sentence is a quote from one source. The second sentence is a fact that provides evidence to support the quote's position. The third and fourth introduce and allow a quote from a second source. The final sentence offers a new level of detail that helps build upon the quote.
So, you can break this graf up into four separate grafs, like this:
High
school athletic director Hugh Baker, told the board, “If safety is the
issue of concern for the board, then our girls teams would have forfeit
games if there are boys on the opposing teams."
Last year alone the team would have had to forfeit 10 of the 18 games, therefore creating a losing record every year.
Many
think its very unfair, including Jacob Stevens. Stevens, a senior at
ELHS said, “I don’t think it is fair. There are countries in the world
where men’s field hockey is a recognized sport. Not every guy wants to
play football, basketball, or baseball."
Stevens was really looking forward to playing on the team his senior year.
Now, each unit of thought or supporting bit of evidence has its own graf. Now, it's easier for readers to identify each key point, in the same way an outline allows readers to visualize key points in a text-heavy draft. Now, it's easier for editors to identify key points, or the lack thereof.
I know it's gonna look weird, given years and years of bad English comp habits that you've picked up. But this is how we write in journalism. It's a more practical style for writers, editors and readers.
And FYI, if you see on your graded assignments that I wrote an L-shaped symbol at the start of a sentence, that is the copy-editing symbol for starting a new graf.
School: It's SAID
It's not so-and-so explained. It's so-and-so said.
It's not so-and-so commented. It's so-and-so said.
It's not so-and-so continued. It's so-and-so said.
It's not so-and-so described or told or stated or exclaimed.
It's so-and-so said. No need to find another word saying the same thing.
It's not so-and-so commented. It's so-and-so said.
It's not so-and-so continued. It's so-and-so said.
It's not so-and-so described or told or stated or exclaimed.
It's so-and-so said. No need to find another word saying the same thing.
School: How Did You Know ...
... that the athletic director disagreed with the move? Could you read his brain?
No. You know that because he said that.
So, you need to say that the athletic director said he disagreed with the policy.
How do you know the boy field hockey player was disappointed? Did he write you a note?
No. You know because he said that, too.
So you need to say the boy field hockey player said he was disappointed.
No. You know that because he said that.
So, you need to say that the athletic director said he disagreed with the policy.
How do you know the boy field hockey player was disappointed? Did he write you a note?
No. You know because he said that, too.
So you need to say the boy field hockey player said he was disappointed.
Body of a Story: Two Basic Structures
The most basic story structures are very specific in style yet simple in design. So let's look an imaginary story done in a basic news style, starting with what you already know -- the lede:
School was canceled forever today after a 42-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.
The lede is usually followed by what is called the nut graf. The role of that paragraph is to elaborate and expand upon the details of the lede.
Consider the general identifiers posed in the lede: an unnamed instructor, an unnamed school, an unspecified big-money lottery ect. Try to follow up on those generalities with specifics in the nut graf, like this:
Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.
That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.
In journalism, we try to keep paragraphs fairly short -- usually limited to one main point or idea per graf, and/or one or two sentences per graf. In this case, I thought the nut graf was running a bit long, so I split it into two grafs.
We try to keep paragraphs short and specific for two big reasons: one, to make it easy for the reader to identify key points and specific quotes and such; and two, to make it easy for editors to do the same so they can more quickly edit the story by easily finding what may be worth emphasis or cutting out.
The point after the nut graf is a great place to consider putting in a telling quote; something that goes to the heart of the story's theme or context or ultimate meaning. Something like this:
"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.
At this point, the lede/nut graf/key quote package creates sort of a mini-story. In the same way the lede gives you the bare minimum of what you need to know about the story, this grouping of grafs gives readers the minimum amount of information AND supporting detail and evidence.
From this point on, you have a couple of options: you can add more supporting facts and quotes, in descending order of importance. This is called the inverted pyramid style of story organization. You start with the most important piece of background, then the next most important, and so on. Like with short paragraphs, it allows for faster reading and editing. Like this:
Sofradzija, who has been making just $2 an hour teaching an introduction-to-journalism class, said he plans to never teach again.
"Seriously, eff those little brats," he said.
But a number of students said that losing Sofradzija as an instructor has sapped their will to learn.
"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.
Sofradzija said he did not know what exactly he's spend his fortune on, but he promised it would be something stupid.
Notice how pieces of telling information are paired up with quotes supporting, amplifying and humanizing that raw data. It's not necessary that every graf of info is followed by a related quote, but it does help in reinforcing the points that are made throughout a story.
Also, please note attribution is liberally used throughout the story, in every graf after the lede. That's for the benefit of readers, who get to see exactly where you get each bit of information that supports the original claim you make in your lede. Not only are you transparent, but you essentially rely on the expertise of your sources by citing them, building your credibility.
Another approach is to offer a chronological telling, looking at things from the start. It's important that you weigh the facts you have and the context of the story to decide if an inverted pyramid, chronology or some other method best tells the story. Like this:
Events quickly began to unfold around 8 p.m. Monday, when Sofradzija was named the Amazeballs winner. His resignation was submitted to MSU by 6 a.m. Tuesday, school officials said.
"Seriously, eff those little brats," Sofradzija said.
Word quickly swirled around campus of Sofradzija's departure, with students walking out of their classes em masse throughout the day Tuesday, school officials said.
"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.
University leaders met that night before making the cancellation of the semester official at 8 a.m. today, officials said.
And that's it. Notice how the story seems to end sort of abruptly. Looks weird, right? Well, in journalism that's okay is your story lacks what writers call a satisfying ending. Why is this okay? Because you already have an ending: your lede.
Now that we looked at these two structures in pieces, let's put it all together and look at the pieces as stories. First, the inverted pyramid:
School was canceled forever today after a 42-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.
Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.
That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.
"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.
Sofradzija, who has been making just $2 an hour teaching an introduction-to-journalism class, said he plans to never teach again.
"Seriously, eff those little brats," he said.
But a number of students said that losing Sofradzija as an instructor has sapped their will to learn.
"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.
Sofradzija said he did not know what exactly he's spend his fortune on, but he promised it would be something stupid.
*****
Now, the chronological style:
*****
School was canceled forever today after a 42-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.
Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.
That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.
"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.
Events quickly began to unfold around 8 p.m. Monday, when Sofradzija was named the Amazeballs winner. His resignation was submitted to MSU by 6 a.m. Tuesday, school officials said.
"Seriously, eff those little brats," Sofradzija said.
Word quickly swirled around campus of Sofradzija's departure, with students walking out of their classes em masse throughout the day Tuesday, school officials said.
"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.
University leaders met that night before making the cancellation of the semester official at 8 a.m. today, officials said.
Now, which is the best structure to use: inverted pyramid or chronology? Again, it depends on what best tells the story.
If you're writing about something complex where impact and meaning doesn't necessarily happen in sequence -- like a tuition increase or comparing on-campus and off-campus housing -- then structuring things based on an analyzed importance may be the way to go.
But of the story you're looking into naturally and dramatically unfolds in order -- like a bank robbery or 9/11 -- then a chronology probably works best.
A lot of it depends on what kind of facts you dig up while reporting. Note in each approach, some facts get greater or lesser emphasis, and some facts get entirely left out. You should think about which approach best uses the most important, relevant, interesting and useful facts. Whichever does is probably the highest and best approach to take.
Let me be clear, though: these are NOT the only two story structure options you have. As you've read in the book and probably noticed in your newspaper readings, there are endless ways to write ledes and detail nut grafs and add quotes and cascade facts throughout a story.
You're first and foremost looking for the best way to tell a story, based on what makes meaning and context and accuracy clear and easy to follow.
These are just two basic ways to do that. Master this, and then start practicing other ways.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Practice Ledes: What Does My Grade Mean?
Overall, nice work on the graded ledes exercise. Plus, for the first time you're getting very
specific evaluations in numerical form. That's called a grade.
From the syllabus, here's a roundup of what the funny numbers atop your returned work means:
4.0: Story could be published virtually as is. It shows superior command of the facts, news judgment, story organization, reporting and writing.
3.5: Could be published with very minor revisions. Generally well-written, accurate copy containing all relevant material, but requires minor editing for maximum precision and clarity.
3.0: Better-than-average story. The story was handled well. Copy needs some rewriting and polishing before it could be published.
2.5: A little above average. The story might have a significant problem with reporting, organization, completeness, ect. Certainly needs rewriting.
2.0: Average job. Not a story most readers would read unless they really needed the information. The story may have reporting, organization or writing problems.
1.5: A weak story. The story may have a buried lede, problems in news interpretation, problems in story organization, omission of some important fact or source. The story needs substantial revision.
1.0: A non-story. The story lacks news judgment, displays major flaws in reporting and writing, omits important facts. The story needs substantial rethinking. Also, a story with any fact error automatically gets this grade.
0.0: Story is late or failed to receive instructor's approval. Story is misleading or unethical. Organization of writing flaws make the story incoherent.
From the syllabus, here's a roundup of what the funny numbers atop your returned work means:
4.0: Story could be published virtually as is. It shows superior command of the facts, news judgment, story organization, reporting and writing.
3.5: Could be published with very minor revisions. Generally well-written, accurate copy containing all relevant material, but requires minor editing for maximum precision and clarity.
3.0: Better-than-average story. The story was handled well. Copy needs some rewriting and polishing before it could be published.
2.5: A little above average. The story might have a significant problem with reporting, organization, completeness, ect. Certainly needs rewriting.
2.0: Average job. Not a story most readers would read unless they really needed the information. The story may have reporting, organization or writing problems.
1.5: A weak story. The story may have a buried lede, problems in news interpretation, problems in story organization, omission of some important fact or source. The story needs substantial revision.
1.0: A non-story. The story lacks news judgment, displays major flaws in reporting and writing, omits important facts. The story needs substantial rethinking. Also, a story with any fact error automatically gets this grade.
0.0: Story is late or failed to receive instructor's approval. Story is misleading or unethical. Organization of writing flaws make the story incoherent.
Practice Ledes: Peanut Barrel Rule
When you think about the Peanut Barrel rule, a part of what you
consider is what stands out most to a story, where it would be the first
thing out of your mouth when talking about it to your friends.
Another aspect that often overlaps the first premise is that of end result and ultimate outcome: how did the story end? After all, the lede of a news story is usually the ending, wrapping up all the loose ends. That's a major way journalistic writing differs from other forms of writing.
This next lede meets the first aspect but not the second:
Arobbery went from bad to worse when the robber of the Quik Shoppe on Michigan Avenue stole a car with six-month-old Megan Perakiss still inside.
If this happened to be a delayed lede, where in the next paragraph you immediately get to end result, then you are fine. If not, then the lede can be improved upon.
This next lede was predicated on end result:
A six-month-old baby girl was found in the back seat of an abandoned getaway car Wednesday afternoon, 40 minutes after a man had robbed the Quik Shoppe and stolen the vehicle.
Often, the Peanut Barrel rule is simple and to the point. But it can also pre-emptively answer an obvious question created by your reporting, like, why the hell would they do that? This lede correctly anticipates such a question, and offers an answer:
Michigan State University ecologists and biologists want to bring African wildlife to th eGreat Plans and American West, due to the declining habitat in Africa.
Another approach would have been to hook the lede not on the reason, but the reaction: that some scientists and ranchers feared the impact those animals would have here. I think either approach is a good one. In journalist often there's more than one way to do a story correctly. It all depends on what you think your readers would consider most interesting, relevant and useful. And in this case, I think it's extremely subject to interpretation. There is no obvious single right answer.
Except maybe this one, where one of you rolled it all into one lede, with both reason and reaction:
African wildlife may find a new home on American soil in order to prevent extinction, despite some scientists' worries that this plan could be harmful to the fate of native species.
Another one of you decided to have fun with this lede, like this:
Rawr might be a common sound on the Great Plains of North America if a group of Michigan State University ecologists and biologists succeed in placing African wildlife there.
That lede certainly sets context: what would it mean for people here? Which of these do you think works best? Why or why not?
Moving on, a few of you struggled with the lede on using cell phones while driving, where you wrote about state officials arguing over whether or not to ban cell phone use while driving. Even though that information was listed first and most prominently, what makes something most newsworthy is if it stands out, and not how much information we have or where that information is placed. You look at the whole of information, and then decide what stands out.
And the whole was this: that a state representative opposing a cell phone driving ban got into a car accident while talking on her cell phone! That's the Peanut Barrel rule, right?
And here were a few of your ledes along those lines:
Constance Wei, a Michigan state representative known for her opposition to banning cell phone usage, was involved in a car accident while talking on a cell phone.
This next lede took things a step further by noting the relevant topic of that phone conversation:
A Michigan state representative got in a car accident on Wednesday while talking on her cell phone about postponing a vote on a bill to ban phone use while driving.
A couple of you used the phrase ironically in noting the cause and Wei's intent, and I'd say that's fair and wise. After all, the facts indicate it was the definition of irony: someone who is for something gets into trouble because of that same something.
One of you noted the irony this way:
State Rep. Constance P. Wei, a known adversary of the ban on cell phone usage while driving, may want to reconsider her lack of support after her car accident on Wednesday.
Obviously, this lede would have to immediately be followed by a graf detailing the irony: that she was on her phone when the accident happened. Beyond that, what do you think of the "reconsider the lack of support" line? Fair notation of context based on the facts -- like calling this ironic -- or does it corss the line into being opinionated, which would be a no-no?
Either way, it does tread the line. What do you think? And why?
Another aspect that often overlaps the first premise is that of end result and ultimate outcome: how did the story end? After all, the lede of a news story is usually the ending, wrapping up all the loose ends. That's a major way journalistic writing differs from other forms of writing.
This next lede meets the first aspect but not the second:
Arobbery went from bad to worse when the robber of the Quik Shoppe on Michigan Avenue stole a car with six-month-old Megan Perakiss still inside.
If this happened to be a delayed lede, where in the next paragraph you immediately get to end result, then you are fine. If not, then the lede can be improved upon.
This next lede was predicated on end result:
A six-month-old baby girl was found in the back seat of an abandoned getaway car Wednesday afternoon, 40 minutes after a man had robbed the Quik Shoppe and stolen the vehicle.
Often, the Peanut Barrel rule is simple and to the point. But it can also pre-emptively answer an obvious question created by your reporting, like, why the hell would they do that? This lede correctly anticipates such a question, and offers an answer:
Michigan State University ecologists and biologists want to bring African wildlife to th eGreat Plans and American West, due to the declining habitat in Africa.
Another approach would have been to hook the lede not on the reason, but the reaction: that some scientists and ranchers feared the impact those animals would have here. I think either approach is a good one. In journalist often there's more than one way to do a story correctly. It all depends on what you think your readers would consider most interesting, relevant and useful. And in this case, I think it's extremely subject to interpretation. There is no obvious single right answer.
Except maybe this one, where one of you rolled it all into one lede, with both reason and reaction:
African wildlife may find a new home on American soil in order to prevent extinction, despite some scientists' worries that this plan could be harmful to the fate of native species.
Another one of you decided to have fun with this lede, like this:
Rawr might be a common sound on the Great Plains of North America if a group of Michigan State University ecologists and biologists succeed in placing African wildlife there.
That lede certainly sets context: what would it mean for people here? Which of these do you think works best? Why or why not?
Moving on, a few of you struggled with the lede on using cell phones while driving, where you wrote about state officials arguing over whether or not to ban cell phone use while driving. Even though that information was listed first and most prominently, what makes something most newsworthy is if it stands out, and not how much information we have or where that information is placed. You look at the whole of information, and then decide what stands out.
And the whole was this: that a state representative opposing a cell phone driving ban got into a car accident while talking on her cell phone! That's the Peanut Barrel rule, right?
And here were a few of your ledes along those lines:
Constance Wei, a Michigan state representative known for her opposition to banning cell phone usage, was involved in a car accident while talking on a cell phone.
This next lede took things a step further by noting the relevant topic of that phone conversation:
A Michigan state representative got in a car accident on Wednesday while talking on her cell phone about postponing a vote on a bill to ban phone use while driving.
A couple of you used the phrase ironically in noting the cause and Wei's intent, and I'd say that's fair and wise. After all, the facts indicate it was the definition of irony: someone who is for something gets into trouble because of that same something.
One of you noted the irony this way:
State Rep. Constance P. Wei, a known adversary of the ban on cell phone usage while driving, may want to reconsider her lack of support after her car accident on Wednesday.
Obviously, this lede would have to immediately be followed by a graf detailing the irony: that she was on her phone when the accident happened. Beyond that, what do you think of the "reconsider the lack of support" line? Fair notation of context based on the facts -- like calling this ironic -- or does it corss the line into being opinionated, which would be a no-no?
Either way, it does tread the line. What do you think? And why?
Practice Ledes: Fatals Suck
Unfortunately, we had a fatal on this exercise: one of you reported Police Chief Barry Kopperud spotted the carjacked SUV in a Chinese restaurant parking lot. In fact, Kopperud said police officers spotted the SUV, not Kopperud himself.
And that's a fatal. Sorry, folks, but it is.
Please, make sure in the prewriting process that you are studying your information thoroughly enough to understand the sequence of events and who said or did what, and then after writing double-check your work to make sure that what you wrote is both what you intended to write, and that it lines up with the facts perfectly.
And that's a fatal. Sorry, folks, but it is.
Please, make sure in the prewriting process that you are studying your information thoroughly enough to understand the sequence of events and who said or did what, and then after writing double-check your work to make sure that what you wrote is both what you intended to write, and that it lines up with the facts perfectly.
Practice Ledes: How Much Info Is Too Little Info?
One of you wrote in a lede that a carjacking was done at the hands of a six-foot white male. Is race relevant in this case?
It depends entirely on whether there's enough details in the subsequent story to result in a specific description that narrows the suspect pool, rather than broadening it to an extreme and unreasonable amount.
So, if later in the story you added more descriptive details, like it was a bearded heavyset man in his 50s who was wearing a tube top and pajama pants, then that would be a description that readers would fine useful and specific. If they spotted the man, they'd have a good idea it was the right person and could choose to call police.
But if all you have is that it was a six-foot white male, all you're doing is implicating every six-foot white male that readers come across (including me and a couple of you guys, too). It's useless information that at best wastes everybody's time and at worst perpetuates stereotypes.
So make sure that if you're including descriptions that you have enough detail to make a descrption relevant and useful.
It depends entirely on whether there's enough details in the subsequent story to result in a specific description that narrows the suspect pool, rather than broadening it to an extreme and unreasonable amount.
So, if later in the story you added more descriptive details, like it was a bearded heavyset man in his 50s who was wearing a tube top and pajama pants, then that would be a description that readers would fine useful and specific. If they spotted the man, they'd have a good idea it was the right person and could choose to call police.
But if all you have is that it was a six-foot white male, all you're doing is implicating every six-foot white male that readers come across (including me and a couple of you guys, too). It's useless information that at best wastes everybody's time and at worst perpetuates stereotypes.
So make sure that if you're including descriptions that you have enough detail to make a descrption relevant and useful.
Practice Ledes: Be Precise
Quite a few of you said a 6-month-old was in the SUV at the time of the carjacking. A 6-month-old what?
Don't forget the "girl" part. It could have been a 6-month-old anything. Don't make a reader hunt through a story to find out what you're talking about; be clear from the first reference on.
Likewise, some of you referred to the SUV as a car. Actually, an SUV is not technically a car. A car in the generic usually refers to a sedan-type automobile, like a typical four-door car. Pickup trucks, vans and sport utility vehicles are just that, and not cars.
I didn't dock you on this exercise for that notation, but if you call everything a car, that's a habit you want to start breaking.
Also, this was one of your ledes:
Constance P. Wei, a leading opponent to Michigan's proposed ban on cell phone use while driving, was allegedly talking on her phone when she slammed into a car stopped at a red light.
What's missing from this lede that I'd argue is critical to the lede? Think what and why ...
Don't forget the "girl" part. It could have been a 6-month-old anything. Don't make a reader hunt through a story to find out what you're talking about; be clear from the first reference on.
Likewise, some of you referred to the SUV as a car. Actually, an SUV is not technically a car. A car in the generic usually refers to a sedan-type automobile, like a typical four-door car. Pickup trucks, vans and sport utility vehicles are just that, and not cars.
I didn't dock you on this exercise for that notation, but if you call everything a car, that's a habit you want to start breaking.
Also, this was one of your ledes:
Constance P. Wei, a leading opponent to Michigan's proposed ban on cell phone use while driving, was allegedly talking on her phone when she slammed into a car stopped at a red light.
What's missing from this lede that I'd argue is critical to the lede? Think what and why ...
Practice Ledes: Spell Check Is Not Perfect
While spell check is an important tool you should use each and every time you write, it is not a perfect tool. For example, it won't catch a word that you misspell that creates a new word that is correctly spelled. Like here:
Thanks to a prompt police force, a terrified mother was reunited with her six-month-old daughter 40 minutes after a convenience store robber speed away with her car, with the baby inside.
You meant sped, right? But what you wrote was speed. And spell check wasn't going to catch it because speed was correctly spelled, if not intended.
Spell check is a complement to -- but not a substitute for -- checking your story line-by-line with your own eyeballs, and even reading things aloud to see if there's some sort of easy-to-make but hard-to-spot goof like this one, that would be immediately apparent when spoken out loud.
Thanks to a prompt police force, a terrified mother was reunited with her six-month-old daughter 40 minutes after a convenience store robber speed away with her car, with the baby inside.
You meant sped, right? But what you wrote was speed. And spell check wasn't going to catch it because speed was correctly spelled, if not intended.
Spell check is a complement to -- but not a substitute for -- checking your story line-by-line with your own eyeballs, and even reading things aloud to see if there's some sort of easy-to-make but hard-to-spot goof like this one, that would be immediately apparent when spoken out loud.
Practice Ledes: Look For Inclusive Words
Many of you in the animals lede referred to "ecologists and biologists." A couple of you simply referred to "scientists."
And why not? Ecologists and biologists are scientists. It's simpler and doesn't result in any lost meaning to your readers.
If you have the opportunity to group specifics under a single umbrella term, consider that course of action.
And why not? Ecologists and biologists are scientists. It's simpler and doesn't result in any lost meaning to your readers.
If you have the opportunity to group specifics under a single umbrella term, consider that course of action.
Practice Ledes: Writing With (AP) Style
In writing about this robbery, one of you referred to the robber as a
thief. Are those terms interchangeable? No. How do I know that? AP
Style.
This is what it says under burglary, larceny, robbery, theft:
Legal definitions of burglary vary, but in general a burglary involves entering a building (not necessarily by breaking in) and remaining unlawfully with the intention of committing a crime.
Larceny is the legal term for the wrongful taking of property. Its nonlegal equivalents are stealing or theft.
Robbery in the legal sense involves the use of violence or threat in committing larceny. In a wider sense it means to plunder or rifle, and may thus be used even if a person was not present: His house was robbed while he was away.
Theft describes a larceny that did not involve threat, violence or plundering.
So, based on that information, was he a robber or a thief? Why or why not?
Also, was the address 2752 Michigan Ave or 2752 Michigan Ave. or 2752 Michigan Avenue?
From AP Style, under addresses:
Use the abbreviations Ave., Blvd. and St. only with a numbered address: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Spell them out and capitalize when part of a formal street name without a number: Pennsylvania Avenue. Lowercase and spell out when used alone or with more than one street name: Massachusetts and Pennsylvania avenues.
Spell out and capitalize First through Ninth when used as street names; use figures with two letters for 10th and above: 7 Fifth Ave., 100 21st St.So in this case, it's 2752 Michigan Ave.
And if you referred to the intersection of 29th Street and Melrose Avenue, that would be the corerct reference, not just 29th and Melrose.
Is it six-year-old girl with six spelled out, or is six in numeric form, like this: 6-year-old girl.
It's the latter. In AP Style under ages:
Always use figures.
Yes, the general number rule is spell out numbers under 10, and use numerals for 10 and over. But age is an exception. So are numbers used at the start of a sentence, which are always spelled out.
When talking abut Constance Wei, is is State Representative Constance Wei; or State Rep. Constance Wei; or Constance Wei, a State Representative; or Constance Wei, a state representative?
It's State Rep. Constance Wei; or Constance Wei, a state representative. How do I know that? AP Style, under titles:
In general confine capitalization to formal titles used directly before an individual's name ... capitalize formal titles when they are used immediately before one or more names ... the following formal titles are capitalized and abbreviated as shown when used before a name both inside and outside quotations: Dr., Gov., Lt. Gov., Rep., Sen., and certain military ranks listed in military titles. All other formal titles are spelled out in all uses.
There are a ton of exceptions under titles, so that's a section you probably want to check frequently.
Remember these and the other exceptions we've noted through this semester.
This is what it says under burglary, larceny, robbery, theft:
Legal definitions of burglary vary, but in general a burglary involves entering a building (not necessarily by breaking in) and remaining unlawfully with the intention of committing a crime.
Larceny is the legal term for the wrongful taking of property. Its nonlegal equivalents are stealing or theft.
Robbery in the legal sense involves the use of violence or threat in committing larceny. In a wider sense it means to plunder or rifle, and may thus be used even if a person was not present: His house was robbed while he was away.
Theft describes a larceny that did not involve threat, violence or plundering.
So, based on that information, was he a robber or a thief? Why or why not?
Also, was the address 2752 Michigan Ave or 2752 Michigan Ave. or 2752 Michigan Avenue?
From AP Style, under addresses:
Use the abbreviations Ave., Blvd. and St. only with a numbered address: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Spell them out and capitalize when part of a formal street name without a number: Pennsylvania Avenue. Lowercase and spell out when used alone or with more than one street name: Massachusetts and Pennsylvania avenues.
Spell out and capitalize First through Ninth when used as street names; use figures with two letters for 10th and above: 7 Fifth Ave., 100 21st St.So in this case, it's 2752 Michigan Ave.
And if you referred to the intersection of 29th Street and Melrose Avenue, that would be the corerct reference, not just 29th and Melrose.
Is it six-year-old girl with six spelled out, or is six in numeric form, like this: 6-year-old girl.
It's the latter. In AP Style under ages:
Always use figures.
Yes, the general number rule is spell out numbers under 10, and use numerals for 10 and over. But age is an exception. So are numbers used at the start of a sentence, which are always spelled out.
When talking abut Constance Wei, is is State Representative Constance Wei; or State Rep. Constance Wei; or Constance Wei, a State Representative; or Constance Wei, a state representative?
It's State Rep. Constance Wei; or Constance Wei, a state representative. How do I know that? AP Style, under titles:
In general confine capitalization to formal titles used directly before an individual's name ... capitalize formal titles when they are used immediately before one or more names ... the following formal titles are capitalized and abbreviated as shown when used before a name both inside and outside quotations: Dr., Gov., Lt. Gov., Rep., Sen., and certain military ranks listed in military titles. All other formal titles are spelled out in all uses.
There are a ton of exceptions under titles, so that's a section you probably want to check frequently.
Remember these and the other exceptions we've noted through this semester.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
More Ledes: Ledes I Liked
Nice work on the latest ledes exercise. You are all picking
this up very well. A bunch of good ones, and here's a sampling of a few
of 'em. This one is straight to the point:
A 16-year-old student under house arrest for armed robbery was allowed to play in Colonial High School's football game last Saturday.
This next one takes it a step further, by hinting on reaction that can be detailed later in a story:
A high school football player is still playing after his armed robbery arrest, despite a local detective's outrage.
This one doesn't simply include what is happening, but why as well:
To cut back on the city's expenses, the cost of mug shots and fingerprints will now be charged to those who are arrested, city officials announced today.
This lede nicely wrapped up many details, and is a solid mini-story in and of itself:
Half-a-mile from the church where he was to be married, Scott Forsythe, 22, died in a car accident this morning after swerving his speeding Mustang to avoid hitting a dog.
The only qualm I would have with it is the use of a brand name, in this case the Ford Mustang car. In journalism, often we will avoid using brand names in favor of generic names to avoid giving out free publicity. Under that rule, instead of saying "Mustang" we would say "car."
An exception to that rule is if the brand name indicates something that helps build context into the story. In this case, I think you could make the argument that since the Mustang is well-known as a brand of muscle car, it has relevance in a story where somebody died while speeding.
Now, for comparison's sake here are some ledes from the same exercise from my fall 2011 class:
Fifteen minutes before he was supposed to walk down the aisle today, Scott Forsythe died in a car accident on Kirkmann Road, a half-mile from the church.
In that one, you let the facts speak for themselves. In the next lede, you set context through the stark contrast between the joy of a wedding and the horror of a death:
Sara Howard though today would the the happiest of her life, when it turned into the worst when her fiance died in a car crash while swerving to avoid a dog.
This next one sets context through a quip and word play:
Being a suspect in a crime will cost you, literally. East Lansing city officials announced today that suspects will now pay a $25 fee for the process of being arrested.
This next lede doesn't just offer the what, but the why as well.
In an effort to trim expenses, East Lansing officials announced that mug shots and fingerprints now cost those being arrested a fee of $25.
On this next one, it's a straight-to-the-point summary:
A 16-year-old student who was previously arrested for robbing a woman at gunpoint is still allowed to play on his school's football team, even while on house arrest.
This next one uses writing style to create a mini-narrative, in the style of fiction-writing but entirely based on facts:
Several months ago, East Lansing police Detective Larry Chavez arrested a 16-year-old boy for armed robbery. Today, the same boy still plays for his high school football team.
This last one is a delayed lede that has fun with the contrast between a couple of typical -- but very different -- items that say a lot:
Football players usually wear wristbands as an accessory, but what about an electronic bracelet?
Among all these ledes -- yours and those of the last class -- which ones do you like best, and why?
A 16-year-old student under house arrest for armed robbery was allowed to play in Colonial High School's football game last Saturday.
This next one takes it a step further, by hinting on reaction that can be detailed later in a story:
A high school football player is still playing after his armed robbery arrest, despite a local detective's outrage.
This one doesn't simply include what is happening, but why as well:
To cut back on the city's expenses, the cost of mug shots and fingerprints will now be charged to those who are arrested, city officials announced today.
This lede nicely wrapped up many details, and is a solid mini-story in and of itself:
Half-a-mile from the church where he was to be married, Scott Forsythe, 22, died in a car accident this morning after swerving his speeding Mustang to avoid hitting a dog.
The only qualm I would have with it is the use of a brand name, in this case the Ford Mustang car. In journalism, often we will avoid using brand names in favor of generic names to avoid giving out free publicity. Under that rule, instead of saying "Mustang" we would say "car."
An exception to that rule is if the brand name indicates something that helps build context into the story. In this case, I think you could make the argument that since the Mustang is well-known as a brand of muscle car, it has relevance in a story where somebody died while speeding.
Now, for comparison's sake here are some ledes from the same exercise from my fall 2011 class:
Fifteen minutes before he was supposed to walk down the aisle today, Scott Forsythe died in a car accident on Kirkmann Road, a half-mile from the church.
In that one, you let the facts speak for themselves. In the next lede, you set context through the stark contrast between the joy of a wedding and the horror of a death:
Sara Howard though today would the the happiest of her life, when it turned into the worst when her fiance died in a car crash while swerving to avoid a dog.
This next one sets context through a quip and word play:
Being a suspect in a crime will cost you, literally. East Lansing city officials announced today that suspects will now pay a $25 fee for the process of being arrested.
This next lede doesn't just offer the what, but the why as well.
In an effort to trim expenses, East Lansing officials announced that mug shots and fingerprints now cost those being arrested a fee of $25.
On this next one, it's a straight-to-the-point summary:
A 16-year-old student who was previously arrested for robbing a woman at gunpoint is still allowed to play on his school's football team, even while on house arrest.
This next one uses writing style to create a mini-narrative, in the style of fiction-writing but entirely based on facts:
Several months ago, East Lansing police Detective Larry Chavez arrested a 16-year-old boy for armed robbery. Today, the same boy still plays for his high school football team.
This last one is a delayed lede that has fun with the contrast between a couple of typical -- but very different -- items that say a lot:
Football players usually wear wristbands as an accessory, but what about an electronic bracelet?
Among all these ledes -- yours and those of the last class -- which ones do you like best, and why?
More Ledes: Fatals Suck
First, the bad news: we had a fatal. It was in this lede:
Despite being arrested for armed robbery and currently living under house arrest, Colonial High School football layer Larry Chavez competed in their most recent game.
A very nicely-structured lede, except for one thing: Larry Chavez is the name of the detective who arrested and noticed the kid.
And that's a fatal.
On a normal assignment, that would mean your assignment grade would automatically be a 1.0 on a 4.0 scale. We need to make sure that we give ourselves enough time on every assignment so that we can fact-check and make sure we haven't made some sort of obvious oversight, like this one.
Really, when you look at timed writing exercises, try to divide your allotted time into quarters. The first quarter is used to read and understand the information. The second and third quarters are used to write. The fourth quarter is used to double-check your work, using the fact checklist I passed out or whatever technique works best for you.
The good news is, this is the last assignment where I won't automatically assign a 1.0 for a fatal. So it's your one mulligan.
The better news is, fatals used to mean a zero on an assignment. So if you think you're having it rough, you'll get no sympathy from my past JRN 200 students.
Despite being arrested for armed robbery and currently living under house arrest, Colonial High School football layer Larry Chavez competed in their most recent game.
A very nicely-structured lede, except for one thing: Larry Chavez is the name of the detective who arrested and noticed the kid.
And that's a fatal.
On a normal assignment, that would mean your assignment grade would automatically be a 1.0 on a 4.0 scale. We need to make sure that we give ourselves enough time on every assignment so that we can fact-check and make sure we haven't made some sort of obvious oversight, like this one.
Really, when you look at timed writing exercises, try to divide your allotted time into quarters. The first quarter is used to read and understand the information. The second and third quarters are used to write. The fourth quarter is used to double-check your work, using the fact checklist I passed out or whatever technique works best for you.
The good news is, this is the last assignment where I won't automatically assign a 1.0 for a fatal. So it's your one mulligan.
The better news is, fatals used to mean a zero on an assignment. So if you think you're having it rough, you'll get no sympathy from my past JRN 200 students.
More Ledes: The Peanut Barrel Rule
There's nothing wrong with this lede. But it's still missing something. Here it is:
A 22-year-old man was killed in a car accident earlier this morning after veering to avoid a dog in the road, according to police.
Technically, it's correct. But let's think about the Peanut Barrel rule. If you wrote this story for The State News and then headed down to the Peanut Barrel to meet friends for a legal drink or two afterward, and then they asked you what you wrote about today, what would you say? More importantly, what would be first to come out of your mouth?
"Uh, well I wrote something abut a dude who got killed when he swerved his car to miss a doggie in the road."
I don't think so. What I think you'd say would be something like this:
"Dude, this was so effed up I don't believe it! Some guy was driving his car all crazy fast so he could make it to his wedding, but he CRASHED and DIED! On his WEDDING DAY! Soo effed up."
I really do think you'd certainly include the wedding angle. That's what made this crash unique and especially poignant and tragic.
If it's a fact or angle that would pass the Peanut Barrel test, then it's a good fact or angle for a lede. If your proposed lede doesn't pass Peanut Barrel muster, then try again until it does.
Again, I can't say your lede was incorrect. Clearly, it passes factual muster. But is it really complete? No. It misses context, like calling 9/11 just a plane crash.
A 22-year-old man was killed in a car accident earlier this morning after veering to avoid a dog in the road, according to police.
Technically, it's correct. But let's think about the Peanut Barrel rule. If you wrote this story for The State News and then headed down to the Peanut Barrel to meet friends for a legal drink or two afterward, and then they asked you what you wrote about today, what would you say? More importantly, what would be first to come out of your mouth?
"Uh, well I wrote something abut a dude who got killed when he swerved his car to miss a doggie in the road."
I don't think so. What I think you'd say would be something like this:
"Dude, this was so effed up I don't believe it! Some guy was driving his car all crazy fast so he could make it to his wedding, but he CRASHED and DIED! On his WEDDING DAY! Soo effed up."
I really do think you'd certainly include the wedding angle. That's what made this crash unique and especially poignant and tragic.
If it's a fact or angle that would pass the Peanut Barrel test, then it's a good fact or angle for a lede. If your proposed lede doesn't pass Peanut Barrel muster, then try again until it does.
Again, I can't say your lede was incorrect. Clearly, it passes factual muster. But is it really complete? No. It misses context, like calling 9/11 just a plane crash.
More Ledes: Say What You Mean And Mean What You Say
There's a problem with this lede:
Only 15 minutes before the start of his wedding, local soon-to-be newlywed Scott Forsythe died in a car accident while traveling to the event itself.
Now, in many ways it's not a bad lede. It conveys the meaning fairly well. But what is incorrect -- a fatal, really -- is what it says: that Forsythe lost his life just moments before he became a newlywed.
Read that literally: it doesn't say he was a newlywed-to-be, or that the crash happened 15 minutes before his wedding was to start; it says the wedding took place and ol' Scott got hitched, all "Weekend At Bernie's" style.
This lede go that point right:
While speeding toward the church, a 22-year-old man died in a car accident just 15 minutes before he was to be married.
Make sure that you say what you mean, and that you mean what you say.
Only 15 minutes before the start of his wedding, local soon-to-be newlywed Scott Forsythe died in a car accident while traveling to the event itself.
Now, in many ways it's not a bad lede. It conveys the meaning fairly well. But what is incorrect -- a fatal, really -- is what it says: that Forsythe lost his life just moments before he became a newlywed.
Read that literally: it doesn't say he was a newlywed-to-be, or that the crash happened 15 minutes before his wedding was to start; it says the wedding took place and ol' Scott got hitched, all "Weekend At Bernie's" style.
This lede go that point right:
While speeding toward the church, a 22-year-old man died in a car accident just 15 minutes before he was to be married.
Make sure that you say what you mean, and that you mean what you say.
More Ledes: Did You Need The Name?
In your ledes, some of you referred to the car accident victim
specifically -- Scott Forsythe -- while others referred to him in the
generic -- 22-year-old local man, or something to that effect.
While
neither is wrong, I'd say the latter is the best approach. You have no
reason to believe Forsythe is someone that would be known by name to
your readers. In such cases, the generic identifier would suffice in a
first reference, and you can offer the specific name as a secondary
detail later in the story.
Now,
if the victim was Oprah Winfrey, the name would be a good bet for the
lede, precisely because she is someone many people would instantly
recognize by name.
More Ledes: What Crashed? What Died? How much?
Ledes are hard in that you need to include all the info critical to
understand the basic gist of the story, but at the same time you need to
keep it brief and exclude any secondary details that may be helpful but
not critical. That's a lot to take into consideration.
In that process, you may end up leaving out something so obvious, it's easy to forget it. Like in this lede:
A local groom fatally crashed while speeding towards church to get married early this morning, according to a police report.
He must have been a fast runner.
I say that because you didn't say he crashed while driving his car. All you say is that he crashed, nothing else included. Coulda been riding a bike or a train or a plane, or nothing at all.
In another lede, you said a 22-year-old was killed. A 22-year-old what? Man? Car? Dog? Again, be precise.
Don't assume the reader knows a car was involved, and a man was killed. Don't make the reader guess that. Be clear AND concise. Not one or the other.
Also, look for details that are easy to understand, and try to add those where you can. In many of your jail ledes you referred to a new fee. But part of context in the story is how much the fee is. After all, a $2 fee isn't much of a story, but a $2,000 fee is.
And it would have been so easy to add the amount by calling the new fee a new $25 fee. Not exactly adding much wordiness there. But it adds so much context and meaning.
In that process, you may end up leaving out something so obvious, it's easy to forget it. Like in this lede:
A local groom fatally crashed while speeding towards church to get married early this morning, according to a police report.
He must have been a fast runner.
I say that because you didn't say he crashed while driving his car. All you say is that he crashed, nothing else included. Coulda been riding a bike or a train or a plane, or nothing at all.
In another lede, you said a 22-year-old was killed. A 22-year-old what? Man? Car? Dog? Again, be precise.
Don't assume the reader knows a car was involved, and a man was killed. Don't make the reader guess that. Be clear AND concise. Not one or the other.
Also, look for details that are easy to understand, and try to add those where you can. In many of your jail ledes you referred to a new fee. But part of context in the story is how much the fee is. After all, a $2 fee isn't much of a story, but a $2,000 fee is.
And it would have been so easy to add the amount by calling the new fee a new $25 fee. Not exactly adding much wordiness there. But it adds so much context and meaning.
Ledes: Ledes I Liked
I'm happy to say that everybody did no worse than pretty good in this
assignment, which in the past has been an ungraded piece of classwork.
This year I'm going to give you some credit, though: you all get a boost
to your overall quiz grade that's equivalent to 10 out of 10 on a
single quiz. Which everybody could use.
On this first assignment, it was far less important that I grade you and more critical that you get used to writing in a journalistic style and under a newsroom-type deadline before it starts counting for something.
Still, I think you're right where you need to be. Let's look at some of the ledes I thought worked well:
Forty-three percent of American marriages break up within 15 years due to marrying young and being less religious, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
It identifies the most telling statistic, highlights it and provides a source for it. Nice work. This one collects a variety of factors:
Women who are wealthy, religious, college-educated, and at least 20 years old when they marry are less likely to get divorced, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
Next is this:
Mayor Datolli will introduce a new panhandling ordinance next week that will provide one-way bus tickets out of town to vagrants.
It has who: the mayor who is acting, and homeless people being acted upon (though is it okay to call them vagrants, or is that a stereotypical slur that should have been replaced with the term "homeless people"?). It has what: the mayor wanting to boot the homeless out of here. It has when: as soon as next week. It has how: one-way bus tickets for the homeless. Four of six W's are covered here, and in only 22 words.
Next is this:
A local swimming pool is being sued for extensive injuries to a local resident who claims swimming officials failed to warn him of immediate lightning danger last summer.
Again, it sums everything you need to know in a simple, straightforward way. This next lede -- which was done by my fall 2011 class, and not this one -- went a step further, and honed in on context:
Erik Barsh was going to be a senior tennis star until last summer when he was struck by lightning. Now he is in a legal volley with the city.
This is a more complex type of lede known by various terms, including a delayed lede (where the lede sets up a following nut graf that reads more like a basic lede) and an anecdotal lede (where in this case you are humanizing the subject a bit before plunging into the reason why this particular human is worthy of news coverage).
I didn't plan for you guys doing anything beyond a basic lede for this exercise, and it's fine that you did not. We'll talk about alternate ledes and as the term goes on I'll encourage you to try more complex forms of story-telling. But if you want to fall back on the basic lee structure for now, that's perfectly fine. What I want to see you demonstrate for now is proper identification and fact selection. And a basic lede does that just fine.
Now, there are some things missing from these and other ledes, like proper use of the word allegedly, and proper attribution use and style. But since we haven't learned those things yet, you weren't docked. And we'll get to learning those things very soon.
On this first assignment, it was far less important that I grade you and more critical that you get used to writing in a journalistic style and under a newsroom-type deadline before it starts counting for something.
Still, I think you're right where you need to be. Let's look at some of the ledes I thought worked well:
Forty-three percent of American marriages break up within 15 years due to marrying young and being less religious, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
It identifies the most telling statistic, highlights it and provides a source for it. Nice work. This one collects a variety of factors:
Women who are wealthy, religious, college-educated, and at least 20 years old when they marry are less likely to get divorced, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
Next is this:
Mayor Datolli will introduce a new panhandling ordinance next week that will provide one-way bus tickets out of town to vagrants.
It has who: the mayor who is acting, and homeless people being acted upon (though is it okay to call them vagrants, or is that a stereotypical slur that should have been replaced with the term "homeless people"?). It has what: the mayor wanting to boot the homeless out of here. It has when: as soon as next week. It has how: one-way bus tickets for the homeless. Four of six W's are covered here, and in only 22 words.
Next is this:
A local swimming pool is being sued for extensive injuries to a local resident who claims swimming officials failed to warn him of immediate lightning danger last summer.
Again, it sums everything you need to know in a simple, straightforward way. This next lede -- which was done by my fall 2011 class, and not this one -- went a step further, and honed in on context:
Erik Barsh was going to be a senior tennis star until last summer when he was struck by lightning. Now he is in a legal volley with the city.
This is a more complex type of lede known by various terms, including a delayed lede (where the lede sets up a following nut graf that reads more like a basic lede) and an anecdotal lede (where in this case you are humanizing the subject a bit before plunging into the reason why this particular human is worthy of news coverage).
I didn't plan for you guys doing anything beyond a basic lede for this exercise, and it's fine that you did not. We'll talk about alternate ledes and as the term goes on I'll encourage you to try more complex forms of story-telling. But if you want to fall back on the basic lee structure for now, that's perfectly fine. What I want to see you demonstrate for now is proper identification and fact selection. And a basic lede does that just fine.
Now, there are some things missing from these and other ledes, like proper use of the word allegedly, and proper attribution use and style. But since we haven't learned those things yet, you weren't docked. And we'll get to learning those things very soon.
Ledes: Look For The Newest News
Quite often, news is what's newest: the latest development, ultimate outcome, end result.
So, did this lede meet that goal?
A local resident was killed by a lightning strike in a pool last summer.
I'd say no. The latest development is that a survivor of that lighning strike is now suing the city, as this lede notes:
A 17-year-old is suing the city for failure to warn him of an approaching storm while swimming in a pool last summer, resulting in serious life-long medical issues.
Just remember, you can't spell "news" without "new." Look for what's new, and emphasize the new thing.
So, did this lede meet that goal?
A local resident was killed by a lightning strike in a pool last summer.
I'd say no. The latest development is that a survivor of that lighning strike is now suing the city, as this lede notes:
A 17-year-old is suing the city for failure to warn him of an approaching storm while swimming in a pool last summer, resulting in serious life-long medical issues.
Just remember, you can't spell "news" without "new." Look for what's new, and emphasize the new thing.
Ledes: Be Economical With Words
Look for opportunities to use fewer words to say the same thing, or to get rid of redundant or unnecessary lingo. Like here:
The Centers for Disease Control conducted a study and found that if a woman is healthy with a good educational background, she is less likely to get divorced.
In that case, why say, conducted a study and found? Isn't that like writing a football game story and saying MSU played a game and won? The won part presumes a game was played, making a general reference to the game unneeded. So, along those lines why not drop conducted a study and, like this?
The Centers for Disease Control found that if a woman is healthy with a good educational background, she is less likely to get divorced.
It says the same thing, but with less wordiness, right?
Let's keep looking at this example. We talk about trying to put the news first, ahead of attribution. Here, you have the attribution first, then the news. So let's try flipping the order like this:
If a woman is healthy with a good educational background, she is less likely to get divorced, the Centers for Disease Control found.
See how "flipping" your lede emphasizes the news over the sourcing? A flip wasn't necessary, and if you were trying to emphasize the source for credibility reasons, then a flip wouldn't be a good idea. But in many cases, a flip is the best approach.
The Centers for Disease Control conducted a study and found that if a woman is healthy with a good educational background, she is less likely to get divorced.
In that case, why say, conducted a study and found? Isn't that like writing a football game story and saying MSU played a game and won? The won part presumes a game was played, making a general reference to the game unneeded. So, along those lines why not drop conducted a study and, like this?
The Centers for Disease Control found that if a woman is healthy with a good educational background, she is less likely to get divorced.
It says the same thing, but with less wordiness, right?
Let's keep looking at this example. We talk about trying to put the news first, ahead of attribution. Here, you have the attribution first, then the news. So let's try flipping the order like this:
If a woman is healthy with a good educational background, she is less likely to get divorced, the Centers for Disease Control found.
See how "flipping" your lede emphasizes the news over the sourcing? A flip wasn't necessary, and if you were trying to emphasize the source for credibility reasons, then a flip wouldn't be a good idea. But in many cases, a flip is the best approach.
Ledes: Watch Your Tenses!
Traditionally in writing for print, we tend to use the past tense: the man sued the city, the mayor introduced an ordinance, ect. That's because in print, events have already happened by the time the paper reaches its audience.
For broadcast and online breaking news, however, the present tense is acceptable: the man is suing the city, the mayor is introducing an ordinance, ect.
For the purposes of this class, I'd like all exercises to be done in the past tense, unless otherwise noted or circumstances warrant (such as a case where events are ongoing or have yet to have happened).
For broadcast and online breaking news, however, the present tense is acceptable: the man is suing the city, the mayor is introducing an ordinance, ect.
For the purposes of this class, I'd like all exercises to be done in the past tense, unless otherwise noted or circumstances warrant (such as a case where events are ongoing or have yet to have happened).
Ledes: Don't Forget Your Articles!
I don't mean stories. A mean a grammatical article, like a, an, the.
Like here: Local victim of lightning strike sues city for growing financial, physical and mental problems.
It should be, The local victim of a lightning strike sues the city for growing financial, physical and mental problems.
When it comes to writing for news, what messes us up regarding articles are newspaper headlines, which usually drop articles in favor of brevity. While that is true of headlines, that is not true of the actual stories under the headlines. Articles need articles.
If you're not sure if you have articles, read your story out loud and ask yourself if it sounds like you've formed complete sentences. If not, it's usually because you're missing an article.
Like here: Local victim of lightning strike sues city for growing financial, physical and mental problems.
It should be, The local victim of a lightning strike sues the city for growing financial, physical and mental problems.
When it comes to writing for news, what messes us up regarding articles are newspaper headlines, which usually drop articles in favor of brevity. While that is true of headlines, that is not true of the actual stories under the headlines. Articles need articles.
If you're not sure if you have articles, read your story out loud and ask yourself if it sounds like you've formed complete sentences. If not, it's usually because you're missing an article.
Ledes: Seek Missing Information
There was a sort of trick question in this exercise, and that would be on the one citing Mayor Datolli.
In journalism, we fully identify people in first referring to them in a story. So in a first reference, it's Omar Sofradzija, with both the first and last name.
In subsequent references, however, you just use the last name: just Sofradzija said, for example.
In this case, though, you weren't given a first name for Datolli. What to do?
As journalists, our job isn't to simply write what is put before us. It's also to seek answers to holes in the information we have.
The correct response would have been to ask me for the mayor's first name. In a real world setting, it would be to find out what the mayor's first name was by making phone calls or checking records or just asking the mayor what the hell her first name was.
Be curious. Don't settle for what you have if what you have leaves unanswered questions.
In journalism, we fully identify people in first referring to them in a story. So in a first reference, it's Omar Sofradzija, with both the first and last name.
In subsequent references, however, you just use the last name: just Sofradzija said, for example.
In this case, though, you weren't given a first name for Datolli. What to do?
As journalists, our job isn't to simply write what is put before us. It's also to seek answers to holes in the information we have.
The correct response would have been to ask me for the mayor's first name. In a real world setting, it would be to find out what the mayor's first name was by making phone calls or checking records or just asking the mayor what the hell her first name was.
Be curious. Don't settle for what you have if what you have leaves unanswered questions.
Ledes: Writing With (AP) Style
In this assignment you weren't asked to write conforming to AP style.
And on this one I won't grade you on that basis. Still, we're going to
use this opportunity to start picking up some of the more common AP
style points.
Like with how to refer to money. Is it $25 with the dollar symbol ahead of the amount or 25 dollars, with dollars spelled out?
It's the former. This is what I pulled from the AP Stylebook, under dollars: "Use figures and the $ sign in all except casual references or amounts without a figure."Number usage has its own specific style under AP rules. Here's the most basic AP guideline, in your style book under numerals: In general "Spell out whole numbers below 10, use figures for 10 and above."
So two should be two, not 2. And 10 should be 10, not ten.
So then, is this correct to start a sentence, under AP Style rules, by spelling out a number like this?
Twenty-two . . .
Actually, that IS correct number use. This is under the numerals heading:
Spell out a numeral at the beginning of a sentence.
Also, Is it 17 year-old with a hyphen between year and old or 17-year-old with hyphens between everything or 17 year old with no hyphens at all? AP Style under ages: Use hyphens for ages expressed as adjectives before a noun or as substitutes for a noun.
So it's 17-year-old, with hyphens between the 17 and year, and between the year and old.
Another AP no-no is using the percentage symbol of % instead of spelling out the word percent. The correct use is to spell out the symbol, like this: 35 percent. Please review the AP listing under percent.
Let's now look at name use. In a first reference you'd use a full name, like Erik Barsh. But what about subsequent references? Is it Erik Barsh or Erik or Barsh?
It's just Barsh. In AP Style, under names: In general, use only last names on second reference.
More stuff: Is it 9:00 a.m. or 9 a.m. or 9 am or 9 o'clock?
It's 9 a.m., or maybe 9 o'clock. Under times:
Use figures except for noon and midnight. Use a colon to separate hours from minutes: 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 3:30 p.m. . . . The construction 4 o'clock is acceptable, but time listings with a.m. or p.m. are preferred.
In the wake of this exercise, please be sure to review the AP Style listings for times.
Also, is it miles per hour or mph or m.p.h.?
It's mph or miles per hour. In AP Style, under mph: Acceptable in all references for miles per hour or miles an hour.
Please note AP Style for mph.
Moving on, many of you referred to the Centers for Disease Control as just that in your lede. A few of you called used its acronym of CDC in a first reference. An acronym is a word formed from the first letter or letters of a series of words, such as MSU (which is the acronym for Michigan State University).
And using an acronym on first reference is probably a no-no.
In most first cases, it's best to spell out the full title of an entity. If an acronym is especially well-known -- like NASA or FBI or USA -- then generally it is acceptable in a first reference. I'm not sure CDC makes that cut, FYI.
Now, in subsequent references you have a few options. One is to refer to the center in the generic, like I just did: as the center, lower-cased. A second option would be to consider using the acronym, after establishing what the acronym is in the first reference.
This is where I'm going to refer you back to AP Style. Please carefully read and review the listing for abbreviations and acronyms.
Speaking of the CDC, was it Center for Disease Control or Centers for Disease Control? Did anybody check AP style under Centers for Disease Control? What does it say?
The idea behind AP style is not simply to drive you crazy; it's also to create a consistent way of referring to terms and phrases and stats and such throughout not just a story, but throughout all stories offered by a single media organization. Consistency is the key point I'd like you to learn here, and we'll use AP style as the baseline.
So starting tonight, please start reviewing the AP Stylebook, and start incorporating its lessons in the written work that we do.
I know the AP Stylebook is a lot to digest. But as this class goes on, I expect that you improve by checking your word use against the AP Stylebook, and by remembering AP Style rules as we go along.
What I'm saying is, I don't expect you to make the same mistake twice. I expect you to learn from your mistakes and apply the lessons going forward.
When it comes to types of language you're likely to frequently -- like numbers and money references -- you may want to make a cheat sheet that you can quickly refer to. Just an idea, folks.
Like with how to refer to money. Is it $25 with the dollar symbol ahead of the amount or 25 dollars, with dollars spelled out?
It's the former. This is what I pulled from the AP Stylebook, under dollars: "Use figures and the $ sign in all except casual references or amounts without a figure."Number usage has its own specific style under AP rules. Here's the most basic AP guideline, in your style book under numerals: In general "Spell out whole numbers below 10, use figures for 10 and above."
So two should be two, not 2. And 10 should be 10, not ten.
So then, is this correct to start a sentence, under AP Style rules, by spelling out a number like this?
Twenty-two . . .
Actually, that IS correct number use. This is under the numerals heading:
Spell out a numeral at the beginning of a sentence.
Also, Is it 17 year-old with a hyphen between year and old or 17-year-old with hyphens between everything or 17 year old with no hyphens at all? AP Style under ages: Use hyphens for ages expressed as adjectives before a noun or as substitutes for a noun.
So it's 17-year-old, with hyphens between the 17 and year, and between the year and old.
Another AP no-no is using the percentage symbol of % instead of spelling out the word percent. The correct use is to spell out the symbol, like this: 35 percent. Please review the AP listing under percent.
Let's now look at name use. In a first reference you'd use a full name, like Erik Barsh. But what about subsequent references? Is it Erik Barsh or Erik or Barsh?
It's just Barsh. In AP Style, under names: In general, use only last names on second reference.
More stuff: Is it 9:00 a.m. or 9 a.m. or 9 am or 9 o'clock?
It's 9 a.m., or maybe 9 o'clock. Under times:
Use figures except for noon and midnight. Use a colon to separate hours from minutes: 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 3:30 p.m. . . . The construction 4 o'clock is acceptable, but time listings with a.m. or p.m. are preferred.
In the wake of this exercise, please be sure to review the AP Style listings for times.
Also, is it miles per hour or mph or m.p.h.?
It's mph or miles per hour. In AP Style, under mph: Acceptable in all references for miles per hour or miles an hour.
Please note AP Style for mph.
Moving on, many of you referred to the Centers for Disease Control as just that in your lede. A few of you called used its acronym of CDC in a first reference. An acronym is a word formed from the first letter or letters of a series of words, such as MSU (which is the acronym for Michigan State University).
And using an acronym on first reference is probably a no-no.
In most first cases, it's best to spell out the full title of an entity. If an acronym is especially well-known -- like NASA or FBI or USA -- then generally it is acceptable in a first reference. I'm not sure CDC makes that cut, FYI.
Now, in subsequent references you have a few options. One is to refer to the center in the generic, like I just did: as the center, lower-cased. A second option would be to consider using the acronym, after establishing what the acronym is in the first reference.
This is where I'm going to refer you back to AP Style. Please carefully read and review the listing for abbreviations and acronyms.
Speaking of the CDC, was it Center for Disease Control or Centers for Disease Control? Did anybody check AP style under Centers for Disease Control? What does it say?
The idea behind AP style is not simply to drive you crazy; it's also to create a consistent way of referring to terms and phrases and stats and such throughout not just a story, but throughout all stories offered by a single media organization. Consistency is the key point I'd like you to learn here, and we'll use AP style as the baseline.
So starting tonight, please start reviewing the AP Stylebook, and start incorporating its lessons in the written work that we do.
I know the AP Stylebook is a lot to digest. But as this class goes on, I expect that you improve by checking your word use against the AP Stylebook, and by remembering AP Style rules as we go along.
What I'm saying is, I don't expect you to make the same mistake twice. I expect you to learn from your mistakes and apply the lessons going forward.
When it comes to types of language you're likely to frequently -- like numbers and money references -- you may want to make a cheat sheet that you can quickly refer to. Just an idea, folks.
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