Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Squirrels: Ledes I Liked

A good number of good grades on this assignment. Good job, folks!

Additionally, you guys took different lede/nut graf approaches, offering a sampling of different ways to do the story. Here's a few examples. This first one was a basic lede/nut graf that did the job well. The lede summed up the problem; the nut graf detailed the consequences, and then you launch into the individual examples of squirrel-insipred woe:


         Lansing Community College officials are blaming squirrels for a recent run of car damage across campus.
 
          Students, teachers and staff members have faced repair bills amounting to hundreds of dollars after squirrels began nesting in their cars.


Here, you did an anecdotal lede that took several grafs before getting to the nut graf:



           For the past few weeks, Oliver Brookes couldn’t figure out why one headlight on his van refused to work.
           Despite having it replaced, the associate professor of English at Lansing Community College said he had continual problems with the headlight in his van. When he opened up the hood to poke around, he was greeted by more than just wires and machinery.
            “There was a big squirrel’s nest in the corner where the light wires were,” he said.
            Lately, squirrels have been causing quite the hassle for many LCC students and staff members by finding refuge under the hoods of cars.

In these next two, you had some fun with word play with fun alternate ledes followed by more to-the-point nut grafs:


         Nutty car problems have been occurring for the student body and faculty members of Lansing Community College this past school year.

          University officials have determined that squirrels are to blame for the issues students, teachers and staff members have been experiencing with their vehicles.

... and ... 


                  Problems with your car? A furry friend may be the cause.
                  College officials at Lansing Community College are blaming squirrels for car problems being had by students, teachers, and staff members. 

... and ...  


             Students, teachers, and staff members at Lansing Community College are going nuts courtesy of many problems caused by a familiar animal: the common squirrel.
             Officials at LCC are blaming squirrels for an influx of car problems affecting individuals who work at and attend the institution.

And these silly ledes are okay. Why? Because this is a silly story. It's not because of your writing preference; it's because the tone is true to the facts. And the facts are unexpected and weird and yes, silly.

As long as you let the facts dictate the tone, then you're doing it based not on opinion but on factual context.

Each of these ledes is a good, solid lede. But which ones do you think worked best? And why?

With each of these lede/nut graf sequences, the writers followed by offering the fact/quote sequences that we talked about earlier. So does this story -- which I will show you in its complete form -- that starts with an alternative lede, then goes to two nut grafs, then launches into the compartmentalized individual examples. This is a good structure which to aspire to:


       In Lansing, there is a new addition to the squirrel’s diet — electrical wires.
       The squirrels on Lansing Community College’s campus have been making homes and feeding on the electrical wires in cars on campus.
       The damage from the squirrels is costing students and staff money to replace ruined wires.
       LCC dietitian Linda Kasparov said an attendant at a service station found a squirrel’s nest as the cause of broken a oil-pressure gauge, speedometer and headlights on Kasparov’s car.
        “The attendant put up the hood and then jumped back exclaiming, ‘My God, what have you got in there!’” Kasparov said.
       Kasparov said the attendant found three baby squirrels in a nest built of string, sticks and plastic bags. 
       Kasparov said the damage cost her more than $400.
       Laura Ruffenboch, a wildlife professor at LCC, said the soybean-based insulation on many electrical wires may be appealing to the squirrels.
        Ruffenboch said squirrels building nests in a car which is used regularly is an uncommon phenomenon.
       Oliver Brookes, an associate professor of English at LCC, also said he found a squirrel’s nest under the hood of his car.
       “There was a big squirrels nest in the corner where the light wires were,” Brookes said.
       Brookes said the squirrels chewed through the headlight wiring in his car, which cost more than $180 to replace.

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