Sorry to say two people fataled on this one. In both cases, it was the same culprit: the spelling of names.
In one case, you said Alder when you meant Adler. In another case, you said Stuart Alder when you meant Stuard Adler. In both cases, those are factually incorrect.
Some of you came close to fataling by making faulty inferences. One of you offered this lede:
Some boys at East Lansing High School will not have to re-tape their field hockey sticks or buy new shin guards in preparation for this upcoming season -- that is, unless they plan on trying out for the boys' squad.
Problem is, there is no boys' squad. That's why they were playing on the girls' squad. You would have been more accurate to say "unless they plan on creating a boys' squad" or something to that effect.
In another case, poor word order came close to creating a misleading fatal. Here it is:
The policy was implemented last year after four boys made the girls' field hockey team.
What you meant to say was, the policy was implemented after four boys last year made the girls' field hockey team.
But that's not what you wrote. What kept me from making this a fatal was that your previous graf was clear that the decision was made Tuesday night, and not last year. Nonetheless, the subsequent "last year" is at best confusing to the reader and at worst a fatal.
No comments:
Post a Comment