Look at this lede:
At a meeting held yesterday, the Grand Ledge City Council decided to donate land to Coalition for the Homeless, Inc., to construct a shelter for the city's homeless. The council approved the vote 6-1.
A good lede, right? Still, I think it would have been better -- and more compact.
For example, the lede twice refers to the decision -- first, by saying generically they "decided," then adding "The council approved the vote 6-1." Well, why not replace the generic reference with the specific vote, like this:
At a meeting held yesterday, the Grand Ledge City Council voted 6-1 to donate land to Coalition for the Homeless, Inc., to construct a shelter for the city's homeless.
It's shorter. Its clearer. And there;s absolutely no loss of any information whatsoever.
Look for opportunities to reduce or eliminate unnecessary redundancies.
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