Thursday, February 28, 2013

JRN 200: An Announcement From The J-School Boss

Dear Colleagues,

The public Neal Shine Ethics Lecture is scheduled for March 21, Thursday, at 4:30 p.m. in room 147.  Please encourage your students to attend. 

Judy Keen of USA TODAY will talk about news coverage of presidential elections and ethics. Her bio is attached.

This is a nice follow-up discussion to the fall when our students formed Michigan's largest election coverage newsroom: http://news.jrn.msu.edu/elections2012/   Judy also will talk with in a few classes earlier in the day. 

Please spread the word!  We reserved the large lecture hall in anticipation of an enthusiastic turnout.

Please keep safe on these roads.

Lucinda


Dr. Lucinda D. Davenport
Professor & Director
School of Journalism
College of Communication Arts & Sciences
Michigan State University

JRN 200: Getting Your Out-of-Class Story Published

Now that you've done a genuinely-reported real story, let's take the next step and get your work published.

In this class, if you get an out-of-class story published by any existing campus or local media, and if you email me a link proving that you've been published, then per the syllabus your final class grade will go up by 0.15 points for every published story.

That means if you get all three published, your 3.5 final grade would turn into a 4.0.

The benefit to you is two-fold: first, you get a better grade. Duh.

Second -- and probably more important to your long-term prospects -- you start building a portfolio. This is very much a field of demonstrated ability; that is, an employer doesn't want to see that you're capable of doing something; they want to see that you've already done it.

Like, write a real story and get it published.

Plus, then you get to add to your resume a line that you worked as a free-lance contributor to whatever publication in the fall of 2013. Even if you get just one story published, that is an accurate line in your resume.

So, where do you get your work published?

Not The State News. Sorry, folks. The paper doesn't take free-lance news submissions. But there are several online campus news organizations that do consider such work -- and which have historically published JRN 200 stories -- including:


Spartan Edge, at spartanedge.com

The Big Green, at thebiggreen.net

Uloop, at msu.uloop.com/main/

People have also had luck at other student-run and professionally-run news organizations. In the past, I've had a few people have luck in getting their hometown newspaper to run their stories, especially if the topic related to issues in their hometowns. I can think of a couple of times where the MSU Greek community newspaper, the Odyssey, did publish JRN 200 work.

So, let's try to contact some media organizations and get you officially stamped as a published journalist. If you need some help in brainstorming where to try and get published, please see me during my office hours.

911: Identification

Probably the hardest thing about this exercise for you was identification. We had competing interests at work here.

First, you should have been operating under the general journalistic premise that we do NOT name rape victims in almost all cases.

And on this point, some of us DID name the victim by name.

Earlier in this semester, we discussed when and when not to name victims in stories. In most cases we DO name victims, but a notable exception in American journalism regarded the names of rape victims.

In general, the current rule of thumb is that in weighing the benefit to society in knowing who exactly was victimized versus the harm that would come in terms of stigma to the victim, we do not name rape victims expect in rare circumstances, like a victim wanting to intentionally put a name and face to a victim to promote greater societal understanding, or a rape victim whose alleged attacker wasn't convicted in criminal court but who is facing a lawsuit for money in civil court.

This wasn't one of those times.

Then, there is the concern of making a virtual identification; that is, giving so much other information that it is easy for anybody to identify the victim.

Some of us named the victim's daughter. A daughter only has one mother, right? So that would be real easy to narrow down who the victim was if we gave the girl's name.

Also, some of us listed the exact home address where the crime took place. Only one family lives in a home, right? Again, we took a huge step in virtually identifying the victim.

Even though an exact address would expose the victim, don't readers still deserve to know where a crime took place? I mean, a story is much more relevant if it happened on your street or in your neighborhood than if it didn't. Some location is necessary to establish relevance.

A couple of us handled it in a smart way: you simply said the incident happened on Wilson Avenue. No street address included. That gave readers enough information to better set proximity, without giving away the victim's home and creating a virtual identification.

Now, what about the suspect's name? I think only under the rarest of cases would you not name the suspect. He's central to the story. As a society we need to know who among us is considered dangerous, and who among us is being locked up like a zoo animal by our authorities.

The only time in my whole journalism career when I didn't name a suspect was in a case around 1992 -- really early in my professional career -- where I was covering the trial of a teen accused of raping his own mother.

My editors went back-and-forth on how to handle it before deciding they wouldn't name the victim or the suspect, because naming the latter would identify the former. And there was a big ol' editor's note added ahead of my lede to explain their reasoning.

So exceptions are rare. Either the circumstances are amazingly twisted and unique or the suspects are juveniles and a particular media organization has rules about naming kids.

Again, this ain't one of 'em.

I also thought important to the story was noting that Caspinwall was a neighbor of the victim. Readers need to know if this crime was totally random or if there was some sort of link between the victim and attacker. Readers have more reason to worry if someone is willy-nilly breaking into random homes, as opposed to attacking a neighbor, right?

But only a few of us you noted the link.

Note I say Caspinwall was a neighbor, not her direct neighbor. A neighbor -- or even better, a nearby neighbor -- could be somebody next door or down the street, right? So using neighbor in the generic doesn't necessarily narrow the possible victim pool to a single house or two.

Next, is the suspect's home address needed? I think some identification of where he lives is noteworthy. Wouldn't readers really want to know if an alleged rapist and home invader lived by them? Wouldn't you?

Also, there was something else that I think we owed the reader: an explanation of why you weren't naming the girl or listing her exact address.

Even though you're following journalistic rules, your readers probably don't know those rules and may simply be wondering, why the hell aren't there any names or exact addresses in this story? It wouldn't have hurt to have a simple background sentence somewhere in the story, like this:

The names of the girl and victim and the exact address where the crime occurred is being withheld to protect the identity of the victim.

That way, you are being transparent with readers about why they're not getting the level of information that other non-rape stories would include. A couple of us did do something along those lines.

Admittedly, this was a confusing exercise. We had many different factors tugging at us. It's really a tough situation for a young reporter to find himself or herself in. In a real-world setting, we'd definitely want to bring an editor in the loop to help make the best judgments that give the readers the most information while at the same time minimizing harm to the victim.

But here, I wanted to test your judgment and see how you responded. And I figured you'd appreciate the lesson much more if we did it this way, as opposed to just lecturing about it.

And in all fairness to you, how you handled these circumstances were a smaller-than-usual part of your assignment grade here. I gave you a break because I didn't want you to suffer a penalty on this one, but I did want you to have to think about it before we discussed it now.

Finally, this is how I would have handled it: I WOULD NOT name the victim or the girl. I WOULD name the suspect and even use HIS home address. I'd say the victim lived nearby, but I wouldn't specifically say they were direct neighbors.

That way, readers know who did this (and know exactly where the sicko lived) and the general area where the crime occurred and that it wasn't a random crime, while at the same time limiting the ability to identify who the victim was.

This is the sort of stuff you'll have to think about all the time in deciding what is the best way to tell your story.

911: Don't Assume!

In one lede, you assumed by saying a 6-year-old girl saved her and her mother's life.

Now, certainly the mother was being brutally attacked. And the girl was in fear for her safety. Conventional wisdom gives you the right to label that as just that, in the same way the girl's actions can be viewed as heroic based on how she dealt with a horrible situation and how conventional wisdom would view that.

But can you say the mom would have certainly died without the 911 call being made? And do we know for sure the little girl was at risk of death?

I don't think so. This is a stretch. You can say the girl helped rescue her mother or helped apprehend her attacker, because those are based on facts. We simply don't have enough information to judge whether she would have been killed or just brutalized. There is a huge difference between the two.

Likewise, you can say the girl was terrified and at risk of harm because an attacker was in her home, but not that her life was certainly at risk.

Now, some of you said the girl potentially saved her mother's life (italics mine), or something to that effect. That's more reasonable. Certainly if she is being allegedly raped by a man with a knife, she's at risk of substantially-greater harm.

But we have to be precise in how we couch that. She may be at great risk, but she is not assured of death. Our language needs to make that clear.

In another instance, you made an assumption that the victim was someone the attacker had personally known.

You did know the victim was the suspect's neighbor, but does that automatically mean the knew each other? I mean, I don't know my neighbors. Maybe that's because I'm an asshole, but the rapist doesn't sound like the nicest neighbor, either.

Again, you're going a step further than the evidence at hand allows. Either get a clarification from sources that establishes your premise or back off to a claim better supported by the facts in hand.

911: Learning From Mistakes

The reason we go through every single fatal of the semester is so that we can learn from our mistakes, and avoid them in the future.

One of today's lessons is, talent has nothing to do with fact-checking; that is, how good you are in terms of story-telling and interviewing and all that is no measure of whether you need to diligently fact-check. You always have to, no matter how good you get.

In one story, we did a great job of putting together a lede and structuring the story. But we spelled the first name of suspect Andrew Caspinwall as Andre, with the "w" missing. And that's a fatal.

In a second story, we said the attacker was rapping a woman. In fact, he was raping her,allegedly. And no, it's not a small misspelling.

That's because when a reader takes a look at a story, they have no idea what it is about. They only find out by reading what we write. So if we write that someone is rapping, that's what the reader will believe you intended to write. And they'll be confused.

Because rap is a real word. And it has many, many definitions: to hit sharply and swiftly; to strike; to utter sharply; to criticize of blame; a reprimand or censure; a legal sentence to serve in prison; a negative quality or characteristic associated with a person or object; to accept punishment for a crime, especially when innocent; to enchant or seize with rapture; to discuss freely and at length; musical style in which rhythmic and/or rhyming speech is chanted to musical accompaniment; to perform rap music.

You could have a dozen Pulitzer Prizes hanging from your wall and when you finish writing, you still need to go through every name, every title, every address, every number, and every fact in your story and double-check each against what you have in your interview notes.

It's like being in shape. You can be Mr. or Miss Universe, but if you skimp on working out you;ll end up a flabmeister. There are no corners to cut if we want to avoid fatals.

911: Be Transparent About Your Lack Of Transparency

When one of you decided to leave the little girl's name out of this, you mentioned this in an early attribution:

The girl, whose name will remain anonymous to protect the victim, said ...

You are doing something out of the ordinary (leaving someone's name out) and you are being transparent with your readers (by explaining why).

Good job!

911: Allegedly

Some confusion on what was alleged here.

Is it alleged that the woman was raped? No. She was raped. Someone broke into her house and raped her. That much was clearly established.

What is alleged is who raped her. A man did, obviously. But it's alleged that it was Andrew Caspinwall.

So you should say Caspinwall allegedly raped the victim. Or the victim was raped, allegedly by Caspinwall. Or that the girl said a man, alleged to be Caspinwall, did this and that.

Is Caspinwall allegedly charged with rape? No. He is charged with rape. That's the name of the charge he's facing. It's a bit confusing in this exercise because the name of the charge and the action he is alleged to have done are the same: rape.

So, let's imagine instead of allegedly raping the woman, Caspinwall stabbed her to death. Caspinwall would be charged with murder, since that's the name of the charge which he will face in court. He's a murder defendant. The charge of murder came because he allegedly stabbed a woman to death.

The action is alleged. The charge is simply the label of the law which he is alleged to have broken.

I know this is confusing. Does this help?

911: Quotes

A big part of this story -- if not the central focus of this story -- was the little girl's bravery. And you had some telling quotes in the 911 transcript, like these:

Somebody's hurting my mommy.

Hurry. My mommy's crying.

My mommy. What'll happen to my mommy?

I'm afraid. Will he hurt me, too?

Great quotes. They're telling. They set context in a special way -- they sound like things you'd imagine a 6-year-old girl would say, right?

Yet some of you didn't use any quotes in your articles!

We've talked about the concept of showing and not just telling readers; that is, don't just tell them something happened; show them the proof.

Those quotes are the "show" part. Don't be afraid to use quotes that support and prove your key points.

Also, the quotes also humanize the story. It's not the dry legal jargon of a crime taking place; it's the quivering voice of a scared little girl. It emphasizes people, and when it comes down to it, all stories are not crime stories or business stories or political stories; they are all people stories -- stories about what happened to people, or what people did, or what may affect people.

Let the humanity shine through in your stories, when possible. Such quotes aren't necessary, but they do help.

911: How Do You Know ...

... that the six-year-old girl said, "Hurry, my mommy's crying"?

Is it because you were under the bed, hiding with her, and you heard her say it?

Of course not! You know she said it not because she told you, but because she said it in the 911 call transcript.

So, this was NOT proper attribution:

"Hurry, my mommy's crying," the girl said.

But this was okay:

"Hurry, my mommy's crying," the girl said, according to the 911 call transcript.


911: Did You Know ...

... the copy-editing symbol for adding a comma to a sentence is an insert symbol and a comma, which tends to look like a little arrow?

I'm not sure many of you checked your copy-editing guide sheet to verify that, since so many people seem to be making repeated comma errors.

Also, the curly squiggle means you should delete any punctuation it touches. The squiggle looks like a little curly fry.

So if you have a squiggle connecting to a period and then there's that little arrow, what I'm trying to tell you is to replace the period with the comma.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

JRN 200: Class Announcement For 2/27

Since the latest forecasts have Wednesday morning in East Lansing looking like this, we will NOT be meeting as a class that day, and will instead be working from our homes. So DO NOT ATTEMPT TO COME TO CLASS, BECAUSE WE WILL NOT BE HAVING CLASS IN CLASS ON WEDNESDAY!

Notice I didn't say class was canceled. We are having class, sorta-kinda. Just not in the classroom, sparing you a horrible frozen death somewhere along the Red Cedar River.

So, this is what you need to do on or by Wednesday:

First, make sure you have read Chapter 18 (p. 458-503) of Reporting For The Media before Wednesday morning.

Second, please turn in your second out-of-class story tip sheet via email to omars@msu.edu. Just take the tip sheet format, replicate it in a Word doc, and email it to me. Your deadline for this is 10 a.m. Wednesday.

I will approve or deny your tip sheet proposals by email before 6 p.m. Wednesday; after that, please get started on your out-of-class story research and interviews ASAP. The deadline for out-of-class #2 is Monday, Mar. 18 by 9:10 a.m.


Third, read all the blog posts from the "meeting" and "speech" assignments. Carefully consider the points made and apply those going forward. If you have any questions or are in need of further clarification, please contact me. And PLEASE GO OVER EACH BLOG POST CAREFULLY -- DO NOT JUST SKIM THEM! Each post contains things we need to start getting right, pronto.

Fourth, please do the following practice story:

Slug: 911
Ch. 18, Ex. 1, p. 476-7.
Deadline: 10 a.m. Thursday, to omars@msu.edu

The city and police department is East Lansing
Proper attribution is, according to a transcript of the 911 call (in first reference), according to the transcript (in subsequent references).

Also, this assignment includes an ethical question for you to consider and formulate a plan of action: In general, we do not identify rape victims by name. We also have to be on guard for virtual identifications, where we give up so much specific information that someone can figure out who the victim is. Then again, we have to provide enough information so that readers can make sense of a story.

So, what will you do when it comes to the victim's name? Or using her daughter's name? Or the suspect's name? Or the relationship between the subject and victim? Or the location of the incident?

In your writing of the story, show me how you'll handle protecting the victim's privacy AND  the public's need to know, simultaneously.

This assignment is a bit complex, so PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU REVIEW IT AND ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE PRIOR TO 5 P.M. WEDNESDAY!

Fifth, read Ch. 19 (p. 504-534) in RFTM before the next class on Monday, Mar. 11 (the first day back from spring break).

Sixth, work on your rewrites of out-of-class story #1, which will be due Monday, Mar. 11 at 9:10 a.m.

Seventh, newspaper readings are suspended until Monday, Mar. 11.

If you have any questions or concerns -- especially about the practice story -- I plan to be having my usual Wednesday office hours between at least 12 noon and 5 p.m. Please call, email or come visit me via dog sled or plow or whatever gets you through the blizztastrophe.

Good luck, safe spring break travels to all, and I'll see you all soon.

Meeting: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Two steps forward, one step back.

That's the typical progress of a JRN 200 class, and this one is no different. And that's okay, since in journalism we learn by doing, then reviewing, and then applying new lessons going forward.

Still, it's important that we learn from our past work how we can do better in the next work. Let's go over some patterns I saw that I feel can be improved upon:

The first thing is, I need to get the assignment right! As you know, I had two different assignments listed for one practice story. Because that's my fatal, you will receive credit for whichever assignment you actually did, and we'll look at examples from both assignments.


Other points to consider include:

Translating technical terms. Like, what is Planned Unit Development rezoning? Do you know? If not, how would you expect readers to know? If you do know, is there an easier way to describe what it means to rezone form agricultural to PUD? One of you did do that, by simply noting the board "plans to rezone the land to allow for construction" of condos on traditional farmland?

Fact-checking includes checking for AP Style. I don't still have to remind you of that, do I?

So, while on first reference you have a name and title (King Omar Sofradzija) on second reference you drop the first name AND the title (just, Sofradzija).

And punctuation still goes INSIDE the quote (like "this," and "this.") and NOT outside (it's wrong to do "this", or "this".)

Plus, percent is spelled out, and we never use the percentage symbol of %. So it's 10 percent, not 10%.

And we spell out "avenue" or "street" and the street direction if not accompanied by a specific street address. So if we're referring to a specific address, then it's 123 E. Sesame St., with abbreviations for "east" and "street." But if we're talking about the street without the adderss number, then it's just East Sesame Street, with no abbreviations.

Finally, don't freak out. Oddly enough, looking at blog posts from the past few semesters after this assignment, and those classes had the EXACT SAME PROBLEMS with this assignment. Literally. I just had to cut-and-paste most problem areas and update the exact examples with your work.

Meeting: Lede With The News

We took a bit of a step back with ledes on this exercise. The news isn't that things were discussed; it's what was done or not done. Too many ledes or section starts defaulted to things were discussed. That's not the news, right?

These were ledes that went in that direction:


The Ingham County Commission met yesterday afternoon, addressing several items within the county, both economic and social.

... and ...

The Grand Ledge School Board discussed several issues at its meeting last night.

The problem here is that the news isn't that the commission or school board addressed items; it's what the items were that were addressed. From this lede, you don't know if they gave out ribbons to old ladies or declared war on Russia. It's too vague. Those ledes sound like this imaginary football game story lede:

The MSU football team played a game Saturday night.


And that's a lede we'd never write, right? These next ledes were better in that regard:

The Ingham County Commission met yesterday afternoon to discuss a new condominium development, purchasing pistols, their salary, and to honor two girls who saved a child from the water.

... and ...

The Grand Ledge School Board discussed its budget, evolution vs. creationism in textbooks and summer school at its meeting last night.

You do identify what the issues were, but it still falls short of ultimate outcome and end result; that being what actions they took regarding these issues: for example, with the commission meeting they approved a new condominium development, considered new gun restrictions, rejected increasing their salaries. You did note that they honored the girls.

Those ledes sound like this modified game lede:

The MSU football team played Notre Dame Saturday night.

And that lede still doesn't go far enough toward ultimate outcome and end result.
This modified football lede does:

The MSU football team beat Notre Dame 63-0 Saturday night.

So, now let's apply that same fixation on end result on this school board lede:

The Grand Ledge School Board approved a new budget and voted to keep evolution-based textbooks and summer school at its meeting last night.
Much better, right? You now know precisely how things ended.
But it wasn't necessary that you include every element in your lede. A big part of journalism is deciding what is most newsworthy, and ranking that news accordingly (or even excluding things if you feel the newsworthiness was limited or simply not there).

This commission lede zeroed in on a single topic:

The Ingham County Commission met today and approved plans for a luxury condominium development on Elkhart Lake.

And that's fine. I'm not saying the development was necessarily the lede item; I think valid arguments could be made for any of the items being the most interesting, relevant and/or useful. Readers don't need us to summarize a whole meeting; they could probably Google an agenda themselves. What they need journalists for is to make sense of the news and tell them what matters most.

So don't be afraid to make decisions, based on the evidence and what may impact or interest readers the most.

One commission lede took ultimate outcome beyond the meeting. Remember the gun restriction decision was pushed to the next meeting? Well, this was one of your ledes:

The Ingham County Commission promised to consider a proposal requesting a three-day wait before a pistol, could be bought, after Sheriff Gus DiCesare suggested it at yesterday's commission meeting.

This is what I call a forward-looking lede; one that goes beyond what happened at an event, and is centered in what that means going forward, or what action is next as a result. When we talk about ultimate outcome, the outcome isn't that the board talked about it; it's that the board will talk about it some more. That's the latest and newest news.

Meeting: Still Too Many Fatals

Like I've told you before, usually in the first half of the semester there's a spate of fatals, before it cools down in the semester's second half.

Well, we're at halftime. And we ended the half with too many fatals on this assignment.

I wish I could say we've been learninglessons, but we're still making the same sort of mistakes.

Like with the spellings of names. In the commission story, one of us wrote the sheriff's name as Gus DisCesare. In fact, the last name was DiCesare, without the first "s." When we finished writing, we needed to double-check how we wrote every name, to make sure it matched how the name was written in our information.

In another case, we spelled the sheriff's last name as both DiCesare and DeCesare. One has to be wrong, right? When we finished writing, we had to double-check each name as listed above and look for inconsistencies in how we spelled any single name.

A misspelled name played into another instance where we listed the SunCrest development as SuncCrest, with one too many c's. Again, this goes to checking not just people's names, but project names.

And Pittsburgh is spelled with an "h" at the end, not Pittsburg, as one of us did. So we can throw city names as something to check as well.

In the same story, we attributed a q1uote made by DiCesare to Carlos Rey, the spokesman for the condominium project. We need to go through our finished work to make sure that all attributions are correct, as compared to our information.

In yet another case, we said two life-saving girls performed CPA. CPA stands for certified public accountant. What you meant was CPR, or cardiopulmonary resuscitation, which is a life-saving technique. We need to check the names of technical terms to make sure they are correct and consistent with our information.

And last but not least, in one story we were very sloppy with numbers, saying commission members make $51,00 a year (we dropped a number; the correct total was $51,000) and that the propsed increase was to $56.500 -- the period replacing the comma literally makes it 56 dollars and 50 cents, instead of the correct $56,500. Not only do we need to double-check names and attribution when we are finished writing, we also need to check all figures.


I implore you to spend MORE time doing basic fact-checking. Really, for every minute you spend writing, you should be dedicating a minute to fact-checking.

So, if you have one hour in which to write a story, spend the first 15 minutes going through the information and making sure you understand all the facts. Then, spend 30 minutes writing. Then, spend the last 15 minutes going over what you wrote to make sure everything matches your information.

In the end, you'd spend 30 minutes writing and 30 minutes ensuring accuracy, a one-for-one ratio.

Now, how to spend the fact-checking time? Use any one of the three checklists I've provided this semester -- or,better yet, all three -- to get ideas on how to do that and what to watch for. You can connect to those checklists simply by clicking on the "fatals" label at the end of this blog.Doing so will take you to every fatal-related blog post we've done this semester, including ones containing the checklists.

Either way, it's critical we start turning the corner. The second half is about to begin.

Meeting: Good Example Of A School Board Story

Note the to-the-point lede and the strong nut graf and telling quotes tight grafs and ranking of information in order of importance and newsworthiness. Here we go:

 
The Grand Ledge school board voted to keep using the same biology textbooks in Grand Ledge schools last night despite complaints from citizens that the books do not teach creationism.
After a lively public hearing that about 100 people attended, the board voted 6-3 to continue using the current textbooks.
“We’ve seen your biology books,” Grand Ledge parent Claire Sawyer said. “I don’t want my children using them. They never mention the theory of creationism.”
The debate went back and forth among members of the public in attendance.
“Evolution isn’t a theory,” Grand Ledge parent Harley Euon said. “It’s a proven fact. Creationism is a religious idea, not even a scientific theory. People here are trying to force schools to teach our children their religion.”
After the vote in favor of the current textbooks, the board said they encourage parents to discuss the matter of creationism versus evolution in their individual homes. 
In other discussion, the board opted to continue remedial summer classes for one more year, but to examine whether the remedial classes are worth their cost.
The classes, which the board said cost about $2.1 million, are set to stay for at least one more year after a 7-2 vote.
The classes are only used by about 900 students each summer, according to board member Umberto Vacante.
“If we’re going to spend that kind of money, I think we should use it to help and reward our most talented students,” Vacante said. “They’re the ones we ignore. We could offer special programs for them.”
Superintendent Greg Hubbard disagreed with Vacante’s assessment.
“Some of these summer students have learning disabilities and emotional problems, and they really need the help,” Hubbard said. “This would hurt them terribly. Without it, they might never graduate.”
In budget discussions, the board announced that $9.3 million of the $618.7 million in next year’s budget will be spent on the construction of a new elementary school on West Madison Avenue. 

The school will be completed and open in two years, the board said.
The board said teachers and administrators are set to receive wage increases of 4.5 percent and six percent, respectively.

Meeting: Good Example Of A Commission Story


The Ingham County Commission approved of a luxury condominium development and discussed new protocol for the purchase a gun, among other things at the 2 p.m. meeting on Sunday afternoon.

            The commission voted 5-2 to approve plans for a luxury condominium development on Elkhart Lake.

            The property is owned by the Roswell Development Corporation. The company’s spokesman, Carlos Rey, said that the company plans to build a series of 10-story buildings containing a total of 715 units overlooking the lake.

            “[The] estimated selling price of a unit will be $250,000 and upwards, perhaps to top $750,000 for the larger penthouse units,” Rey said.

            Rey said that the development will have it’s own water and sewage systems. Additionally, Rey said that his company will donate $600,000 to purchase a ladder fire truck capable of reaching the top of a 10-story building.

            The condominiums will be promoted as a vacation and recreational center.

            Another issue that was discussed during the meeting was a proposed 72-hour waiting period before the purchase of a gun in Ingham County.

            Sheriff Gus DiCesare said, “There are a lot of cases where people went out and bought a gun with criminal intent and used it right away … We want a cooling off period.”

            Under the proposed ordinance, a customer would have to provide personal information to the dealer and then wait 72 hours before picking up the pistol, said DiCesare.

            He also said that this would speed the identification of the owner of a pistol if found at a crime scene.

            A majority of the commissioners said that they would favor such a proposal but want more information and possibly to hold a public hearing for the citizens. The proposal will be seriously discussed and considered at the next meeting.

            Next, the commissioners rejected a proposed pay raise on a 4-3 vote. The commissioners’ salary will remain at $51,000.

            Additionally, the commission honored and presented plaques to two 15-year-old girls, Doreen Nicholls and Pamela DeZinno.

The girls were honored for saving a young child’s life when she fell from a boat. The girls dove into the river and pulled her out. Nicholls proceeded to administer CPR while DeZinno called for help.          

Meeting: Did You ...

Write about everything that happened at the meeting? Or just the things you thought were most newsworthy?

And how would you rank the newsworthiness of the items that took place at the meeting? These were the things, in order of occurrence, at the school board meeting:

1. Retiring teachers honored
2. New budget approved that includes construction of a new school, pay raises
3. Board keeps summer school intact
4. Board decides to keep current biology textbooks and not teach creationism
5. School volunteers honored

Now, the commission meeting:

1. Condominium plans
2. Honoring two girls
3. Waiting period for buying guns
4. Commission pay raise

Does the order of importance match the order of occurrence? How would you rank these things, in terms of importance?

The importance ranking should match your order of presentation, regardless of the order in which things took place.

If you're not sure, here's a good rule of thumb: the item you wrote about the most is probably the one worth the best placement. The one you wrote about the least should probably be presented last, or maybe even not at all.


Our job as journalists isn't to necessarily record everything, and put things in the order in which it took place. That's stenography. Rather, we decide what was most important, and rank things in the order of importance.

What did you do, and why?

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like, something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, like the board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.


"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.


Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."


See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.

Meeting: Transitional Phrases

In stories where you have multiple sub-issues, like a meeting story, it's helpful to have a new subsection started with a transitional phrase, like

In other business, the board ...

Also, the board ...

In other news ...

Also at the meeting ...

Also approved (or rejected) was ...

Such transitional phrases help clearly delineate when reporting on one matter ends and another begins.

Meeting: You Don't Need "That"!

"That" is one of the most unneeded words ever. Let's look at this sentence:

The board said that in its decision that parents should talk to their children about the issue and provide their home with the religious training that they feel to be most appropriate.

Now, let's get rid of the three references to "that." This is what's left:

The board said in its decision parents should talk to their children about the issue and provide their home with the religious training they feel to be most appropriate.

Now, what's different? Besides the loss of an unnecessary word?

Most of the time, you don't need "that."

Monday, February 25, 2013

Speech: What's New Is The News!

The news, of course, isn't just that someone spoke; it's what they spoke about. In that sense, the following lede is correct but lacking:


U.S. Surgeon General Tom Izzo spoke at a Michigan PTA convention in East Lansing yesterday.


This next lede does that, but it still falls a bit short:

U.S. Surgeon General Tom Izzo spoke at a Michigan PTA convention in East Lansing yesterday about the issue of alcohol consumption among adolescents.

The problem here is you don't know what he said about alcohol consumption. Did he say he thought it was bad or great? That he thought it was awful? Or that he encourages all kids to get blotto?

You simply don't know based on what you offer. This next lede was much clearer:

U.S. Surgeon General Tom Izzo criticized the alcohol industry for targeting Halloween as their latest marketing opportunity at the Michigan PTA convention in East Lansing yesterday.

Note how it doesn't just say Izzo spoke about the alcohol industry; it says he criticized it. Correctly finding and using such a word to describe the contents of what he said is teh difference between a vague lede and an exact one.

Finally, just for the hell of it, let's look at what I thought was a very nice lede/nut graf/telling quote combo:


U.S. Surgeon General Tom Izzo delivered a passionate speech condemning the alcohol industry’s target of the traditional children’s holiday, Halloween, at the Michigan Parent Teacher Association meeting in East Lansing last night.

In the speech, Izzo shared his concern of the alcohol industry’s festive marketing techniques this year and how it’s association with Halloween is promoting dangerous alcohol consumption among youth.

“This year the alcohol industry has given new meaning to those innocent words of childhood. They are serving up new treats –and new tricks,” said Izzo.


So much to like here. First, a specific lede that I think fairly uses the work passionate. That word isn't based on your opinion; rather, it's based on your viewing his words in whole through conventional wisdom and factual basis. His argument had an edge to it, right? So, you're not offering an opinion, but an analysis.

That's the difference. An opinion is based on your feelings. Analysis is based on your reasonable interpretation of facts.

Second, the nut graf expands upon the lede. The lede says Izzo condemned the alcohol industry; the nut graf says how and why -- because of its marketing that promotes kids drinking.

Finally, you bring things full circle with your telling quote, so that readers don't have to take your word for it that Izzo was passionate and condemning -- you show the reader Izzo's words.


Speech: Great Job, But ...

One of you guys had a story that I though was rolling in awesome fashion. Great lede that hit the main point, a great nut graf that detailed the lede, a great telling quote, great subsections that offered a fact and then followed with a supporting quote, ect. Here's how it started:


Halloween is a very fun time of year for many children across the country filled with costumes, candy, and -- according to the surgeon general -- too much alcohol.



At yesterday evening’s PTA convention in East Lansing, Surgeon General Tom Izzo spoke out against the alcohol abuse problem in America, and the effect it has on children, especially around Halloween.
 

“Alcohol is the number one substance abuse problem among America’s youth. In fact, it is the only drug whose use has not been declining, according to our most recent National High School Senior Survey,” said Izzo.



Izzo said he believes alcohol industries are now trying to use Halloween, a traditional holiday for children, as a new marketing opportunity.



“They are saying: ‘It’s Halloween, it’s time to celebrate, it’s time for a drink!’ Beer companies offer free Halloween t-shirts, bat sunglasses, and glowing cups,” said Izzo.



Izzo said the problem goes far beyond around commercials around Halloween and has a major impact on many young lives.



“What I say is scary is the possibility of increased carnage on our highways, the real specter of more binge drinking by our young people, and the absolute reality of those smaller, less dramatic cases of health and emotional problems caused by alcohol consumption,” said Izzo.

But then we got to this subsection:

Izzo also said that binge drinking, which is promoted by advertisers, encourages not only college students but youths all the way down to the eighth grade.

 

“Some of these Halloween ads encourage the purchase of 12- or 24-packs of beer, and who will drink all that beer? Forty-three percent of college students, 35 percent of our high school seniors and 26 percent of eighth-grade students have had five or more drinks in a row during the past two weeks. And beer and wind coolers are their favorite alcoholic beverages,” said Izzo.

Yes, wind coolers, when we meant to say wine coolers.

Sometimes, the difference between consideration for a 4.0 and getting a 1.0 is just one word. Getting a fatal is like playing a game of all-time in a playoff loss; the only thing that matters is the final score, and not how you played. Not because you didn't play great, but because the point of playing was to win the game.

And in journalism, the point isn't simply to write a great story; it's to get it right.

Speech: A Good Example

Just a nice example of a good lede, good attribution, and a good sprinkling of facts and quotes.


Halloween used to be about costumes and candy, but kids are now being tricked to associate the holiday with a new treat — alcohol.
            Yesterday, just days before Halloween, Surgeon General Tom Izzo spoke at a PTA convention in East Lansing about how alcohol has bombarded Halloween.
            “Halloween and hops do not mix,” Izzo said.
            Izzo said the wide acceptance of alcohol could be part of the reasoning behind why young people drink.
            Izzo said according to the National Coalition on Television Violence, the average American child sees 75,000 drinking scenes on television before the age of 18.
            “Alcohol is the number one substance abuse problem among America’s youth,” Izzo said. “In fact, it is the only drug whose use has not been declining, according to our most recent National High School Senior Survey.”
            Izzo said according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, currently 4.6 million teens have a drinking problem.
            Izzo said alcohol affects most organs, and can be contributed to diseases such as hypertension and cancer of the esophagus.
            “Let us not make this year the year they robbed the kids of Halloween,” Izzo said. “For their sake and our own, let us keep Halloween sane, safe — and sober.”
           

Speech: A Good Quote

This one was:

"Let us not make this year, the year they robbed the kids of Halloween," Izzo said. "For their sake and our own, let us keep Halloween sane, safe -- and sober."

Telling quote. It really got to the point of what many of you hooked your stories upon.

Then why did some of us use it so late in our stories?

The better a quote and the more it directly supports your central premise of key premises of your story, the more prominent and higher up that quote should be.

Many of you ended your stories with a great quote, like this one. I get the feeling that you're trying to create what in writing is called a satisfying ending; one that offers a conclusion.

In traditional English composition, such a conclusion is necessary. In journalism, since we start with the conclusion it is not. On most regular straight news stories, it's completely fine to simply let the story trail off, even if it seems like the ending is abrupt.

If you're writing in inverted pyramid style, you rank information in the order of importance, so your story should essentially trail off. If you're writing a chronology, you can stop writing just short of the conclusion since your reader will already know how things ended; they learned that in the lede.

The notable exception would be if you were writing some sort of feature narrative, which we really don't get into in this class. So, nyah.

Speech: How Do You Know ...

. . . this?

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 4.6 million teenagers have a drinking problem.

This is kind of a trick question. You DON'T know this because the NIAAA told you, or because you read their report. You know it because Izzo cited the report, right?

So, correct attribution would be something like this:

Izzo said 4.6 million teenagers have a drinking problem, citing National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism figures.

Be sure to attribute a source, or even the source of a source, if need be.

Speech: If This Were A Real Story ...

. . . who, if anybody, would you contact for reaction/rebuttals/comment after the meeting?

Speech: No First-Person References!

In journalism, we do not use first-person references outside of quotes.

That means if you are writing about problems facing our youths, you need to take out the "our" and either leave it unfilled or replace it with something that's non-first-personish, like the nation's youths.

Using first-person references betray our standing as unbiased observers with no personal stake in the outcome.

Our, we, I ... if not in a quote, take it out.

Speech: Punctuation And Quotes

Still having some serious problems on punctuation and capitalization around quotes.

When a quote ends a sentence, followed by attribution, then the end of the quote gets a comma -- even if the quote was the source's spoken word -- and the attribution which follows is lower-case.

So if I say this:

"You guys rock."

Then this is how it should read:

"You guys rock," Omar said.

And this is NOT how it should read:

"You guys rock." Said Omar.

Also, general journalistic practice is to simply say said, even repeatedly and without having to come up with a different word for "said." I know it looks weird, having graf after graf with he said and she said and whomever said, but in journalism we just use said over and over and over again.

No matter how much I've been marking up people's papers with copy-editing symbols noting how it should be, it seems like the same mistakes are being made over and over.

Please made sure you are reading your returned papers and following my copy-editing marks as translated by the handout you got during the first few days of class.

Speech: Titles And Commas

If you have a formal title ahead of a name, then there is no need for a separating comma and you do capitalize the title. So you do this:

U.S. Surgeon General Tom Izzo said ...

...and NOT this ...

U.S. Surgeon General, Tom Izzo said ...

... in the same way you would say this:

Capt. Crunch said ....

... but NOT this ...

Capt., Crunch said ...

Now, if that title is not being used as a direct title, but as an identifier separate from the name, then do use lower case and commas, like this:

The U.S. surgeon general, Tom Izzo, said ...

... and this ...

Tom Izzo, the U.S. surgeon general, said ...

... and this ...

Crunch, a captain, said ...

... and this, too ...

A captain, Crunch, said ...

Speech: Writing With (AP) Style

Is it an eighth-grader or an 8th-grader or an eighth grader?

It's the middle one. AP Style, under grade, grader:

Hyphenate in combining forms: a fourth-grade pupil, a 12th-grade student, first-grader, 10th-grader.

Note there is no exception made from the general AP numbers rule of spell out numbers under 10, and use digits for 10 and above. Also note that the examples given appear to adhere to that rule.

Now, in first reference is it PTA or Parent-Teacher Association? Did anybody look under PTA?

Finally, if the number is at the start of a sentence, do you spell it out regardless? You tell me. We've been over this one time and time again.

Please review AP Style under grade, grader and numerals.

Is it 5 percent, or 5%, or five percent, or five %?

It's 5 percent, with "percent" spelled out and the number 5. And even though the number is under 10, whenever a percentage is used then the numeral should be presented as a digit, and not spelled out.

How do I know all this? AP Style, under percent.


Before the end of the semester, we are going to have an AP Style quiz that will be equal in weight to roughly NINE current events quizzes. So be sure to be boning up on your AP Style!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Sleep: Overall,Great! (But Some Fatals, Too)

I'm very, very happy to say the "sleep" assignment may have been the best overall assignment of the year for this class. Lotsa grades in the 3.0 range -- half the class scored a 3.5 or above! -- lotsa strong ledes, lotsa on-point nut grafs, good use of quotes, all that.

Still some issues, though. First, two people did not turn in the assignment. The worst thing we can do in journalism -- even worse than getting a fatal -- is to blow off an assignment. A newspaper can't go to print with blank spots in the pages, and a 30-minute newscast can't to to air without content that fills up all 30 minutes. That means in the media business, you can never miss a deadline.

And yes, assignments that are not done will have a much more severe impact on your final grade than fatals will, and if I have to use a tie-breaker in determining your final grade, the first categories I will be unexcused absences and tardies and whether you blew off any assignments, since those things tell me how seriously you are taking this class.

The more you tell me you are unreliable as a journalist by skipping assignments and not showing up without a valid excuse, the more I will recognize that in your final grade. I can work with you if you give me an assignment that's not up to snuff -- and so can an editor in a real-world setting -- but I can't work with nothing, and I can't work with you if you're not here. Neither can your future bosses.

Second, let's make sure we're using proper attribution. In most stories, after the lede and nut graf each paragraph should have some sort of attribution. And in a single-source story like this one, it wouldn't hurt for every graf, period, to have attribution.

Third, let's make sure in attribution, we're just using said. You don't have to say so-and-so explained or so-and-so remarked or so-and-so says or whatever. Just say so-and-so said, every time.

Fourth, remember that if you are adding attribution after a quote, the quote ends with a comma, then he closed quote mark, then said in lower case, like this: "You guys are awesome," said Omar Sofradzija.

Fifth, there is no need to start or end a sentence with ellipses, since what is actually being quoted by you is uninterrupted.

What I mean is, if you're using this quote ...

"And so I think I am going to kill Mickey Mouse and I want him to die."

... and I just want to use the part that says, "I think I am going to kill Mickey Mouse," then my quote does NOT need any ellipses, and will look like this ...

"I think I am going to kill Mickey Mouse."

... and NOT this ...

"... I think I am going to kill Mickey Mouse ..."

... or this ...

"I think I am going to kill Mickey Mouse ..."

... or even this ...

"... I think I am going to kill Mickey Mouse."

Why no ellipses? Because the quote fragment you use is uninterrupted and in context. We use ellipses when we take something out of the middle of a quote we're using. Not the beginning or end.

Sixth, let's remember that in a first reference we use both a first and last name,but in subsequent references we use just the last name.That means the first time you refer to Diana Gant as just that, but from then on it's just Gant.

Seventh, let's remember to avoid using first-person references outside of quotes, like we or us or me. Using first-person references go against the idea that journalists are neutral observers. If we are just observing and outside of the news story, then there can't be a we or us or I.

Instead, use more specific descriptors. For example, if Gant is talking about how people can sleep better, say just that: people, not we.

Moving on; unfortunately, we also had some fatals.

In two cases, we spelled the last name of the professor, Diana Gant, as Grant, with an "r" in there.

This is an instance where it's possible spell check actually inserted an error into our work. How?

Well, gant is not a word in the dictionary. So if we ran spell check, it probably would have told you to change it to grant, which is a word. If we weren't really paying attention in running spell check and we simply agreed with all recommended changes, then this sort of thing could have resulted.

I know I've said it a million times, but here I go again: spell check is a supplement to -- but never a substitute for -- checking a story fact by fact, name by name and line by line.

There's no short-cuts to this, folks.

Out-of-Class #1: Overall

Some people did very well on the first out-of-class story. Nice ledes, good attribution, a nice range of sources from different perspectives and sides of an issue, and a lot of original reporting that didn't rely on what you found online from some other news source.

Then again, we had some struggles. And most of those struggles are normal with a first out-of-class story, for which you have not much -- if anything -- compare it to.

There was a lack of attribution, where I didn't know where you got the information from.

There was an over-reliance on other sources for your information, as opposed to you getting quotes and data directly from first-hand sources yourself.

There were instances where you interviewed a narrow set of sources, like just one set of people in a complex issue. You may have just talked to one side of an issue but not the other or neutral experts. It seemed like some people stopped on the first and most obvious source group and didn't ask themselves, "Who else would be a good source to talk to about this? Who else would have good information that is relevant to this issue? Who's on the other side of this issue? Who is affected by this? Who would be a neutral expert, and how do I find them?"

There were some cases where stories were way too wordy and overloaded with paragraphs that took up space but really didn't advance the story or say much of anything in particular. This is journalism and not a term paper, folks; filling a story up with fluff to make the 700-word limit will get you an equally-empty grade.

And some people treated this like a term paper, rather than a news story. What I mean by that is, with a term paper you are filling up a space with relevant information to satisfy an arbitrary standard sought by a teacher.

You have presumptions, and you simply fill the space between presumptions with whatever seems to support the presumption. There really isn't much research of exploration or curiosity or even much consideration that there may very well be a surprising twist out there that may be found if you do enough digging. You're not only not discovering anything; you're just trying to support a presumption.

And that's not journalism.

In a news story, what we are doing is exploring an issue, and investigating it like a detective would a crime scene. Yes, we have some presumptions that we start with, but during the course of our investigation we are seeking sources that either confirm or deny our presumptions or even take the story in a whole new and unexpected direction, based on following the facts.

It's just like a scientific experiment: you start out with a theory, but that theory is just a starting point. Then you fact-test the theory by gaining real-world evidence. Then, you see what the evidence says -- whether or not it has anything left to do with your original theory -- and only then you decide upon your lede and your nut graf and what information you have is worth sharing with your audience.

Still, those problems I expected, and accept. That's normal for a first out-of-classer. But my other expectation I hoped wouldn't come to pass: that at least three people (and maybe two more) fataled this first assignment.


That wasn't a shock because four people fataled the first OOC in my previous semester of this class. But that was by far the most I ever had in a single OOC assignment, never having more than one prior to that.

The frustrating thing to me was that it was clear that the fatals all came from the simplest of mistakes, and were ones where the most basic principles of fact-checking were not being followed.

One person fataled in a story about cruise ship safety, when they referred to the Cruise Lines International Associate. In fact, the name of the group is the Cruise Lines International Association (italics mine), which I confirmed via Google at cruising.org.

That flouted the most basic fatals rule. From the syllabus:

Fact errors: Inaccurate information, misspelling a proper name, a misquotation or an error that changes the meaning of a story automatically drops a grade to a maximum of 1.0 (e.g., President "Barack Obamma" or "Department of Transport").

A second person fataled the name of the school. Instead of Michigan State, it was Michigan Sate, with the first "t" in "State" missing.

Problem is, "sate" is a real word. According to the American Heritage Dictionary sitting on my bookshelf, it's a verb that means, to satisfy (an appetite) fully; to indulge in excess; glut.

In the same story, there was a quote that said "I wonder how long they have to be in their for." We meant to say how long they're "there" for (italics mine).

I'd like to remind you one more time that spell check is a supplement to -- but not a substitute for -- checking a story word-for-word, fact-by-fact and line-by-line against your notes. Because spell check will not catch an incorrect spelling that creates an unintended and inaccurate but correctly-spelled word, like when your misspelling of "state" creates "sate."

The same problem applied to another person who fataled a quote, saying "I kind of had a foot it both camps," when they clearly meant to say "foot in both camps."

I'd like to remind you one more time that spell check is a supplement to -- but not a substitute for -- checking a story word-for-word, fact-by-fact and line-by-line against your notes. Because spell check will not catch an incorrect spelling that creates an unintended and inaccurate but correctly-spelled word, like when your misspelling of "in" creates "it."
 
Additionally, there are a couple of people whose interview notes I'd like to see. In one case, they have a quote that says ""I talk with students of across the board," which doesn't seem to make sense. I suspect the "of" doesn't belong there, which would make it a fatal.

In another story, someone has a quote that recommended  travel "if they have the recourses," which is an odd but not completely implausible use of the word. Did you mean resources? If so, that's a fatal, too.

So, a couple of grades are subject to revision.

We need to make sure we don't take anything for granted, even when we're writing down the most common name and assuming it has the most common spelling. Don't assume anything; if they say their name is John Smith, ask them if it's the common spelling and if they can spell it out, letter-by-letter. I promise you, the first time you assume you'll find out the next day his name was spelled Jon Smythe.

Yes, as a professional journalist I learned this the hard way, too.


Early on in this class, I talked about how doing all the little routine things in journalism -- like thoroughly checking your work to make sure what you wrote was what you intended to write, and that it was accurate as compared to your notes and the facts -- was something that you could never take for granted. It's not.

And it has nothing to do with talent, just vigilance. In the same way American can have the best army in the world, it doesn't really matter if the one night the army takes the night off, Canada decides to invade us.

Or if we're trying to stay in shape, and instead of running our miles every day we start to cut corners and slack here and there. Eventually, the pounds will start showing.

The fact is, you could be the world's best journalist, and you still have to do all the little and annoying things -- like checking routine facts -- if you want to stay ahead of making mistakes. Because when you're processing thousands of words a day in a professional environment and on deadline, a mistake is always waiting to catch you at a lax moment and bite your ass.

It's why The New York Times has the best journalists in the world, yet they still have a copy desk.

So there's no big thing to learn from the fatals, other than if we want to do things the right way, we have to do things the right way completely and each and every time.

This job isn't about writing. It's about getting it right. I'm sorry some of you have to learn that lesson in a very harsh manner.

The good news is, you have a rewrite. You have other assignments, including an optional fourth out-of-class story where if you do it, I take your worst-graded out-of-class story and replace it with the fourth one's grade. (if you fatal any out-of-class story, I cannot urge you more strongly to do a fourth out-of-classer, so we can get your grade to a better place.)

And I will offer a wide range of extra-credit opportunities that will do two things: prove to me that you can do all those little things right (along with the big things), and give you an opportunity to repair your grade and (hopefully) essentially make these fatals go away when it comes to your final grade.

I don't care if it takes you 10 out-of-class stories to do three well; just show me you can do three well. And yes, I will do everything I can to help you get there. If you're having issues and we're not talking during my office hours -- and I have 40 office hours each week! -- then we're not doing everything we can to pull up our grades.

But we have to start making sure we're following all the steps, every time. No more short cuts. No more assumptions. No more blowing things off until the last minute, and no more skipping me outside of class if you think you can use the help.

Each and every one of you is capable of doing this, and doing it well. But we need to do all the things we're supposed to do for that to happen.

Out-of-Class #1: More Accuracy Advice




Get Your Eagle Eye On: 10 Tips for Proofreading Your Own Work


A guest post by Leah McClellan of Peaceful Planet

The best blog post I read this morning—of many—is good. Very good, actually. It flows. It’s fresh. It has a rhythm that drew me in and made me want to read every word. The ideas are thought-provoking.
But how much more enjoyable would it have been if I didn’t have to reread certain sections to make sure I was getting the gist of things? How much better would the post be if I didn’t hesitate at it’s instead of its and there instead of they’re? How much intended meaning and power was lost over a lack of subject-verb agreement or commas that might have been better placed?
Tripping, stumbling, and hesitating over misspelled words or ill-placed punctuation is like watching a TV show with a shaky cable signal or trying to talk while a cell phone connection is breaking up—the reader is jostled right out of the story the writer is telling.

If the errors are too big or too many, I’m outta there.

This writer intentionally broke a lot of rules in his 1100-word article, and he broke them well. Sentence fragments clustered together as ideas to ponder, a long list of items without commas that symbolizes repetitive drivel, the same word repeated over and over in a few short sentences to pound in a point. Good stuff and well done, for the most part.
Some grammar and punctuation rules can—and should—be broken, when you know what the rules are and how to break them effectively. But the lack of solid proofreading in this piece is like cake without icing, pottery without glaze, or a fine piece of wood in need of a polish. The writer didn’t step back and get his Eagle Eye on.
“Come on,” you chortle. “It’s hard to proofread your own work. And who notices anyway?”
Believe it or not, lots of people notice unless they’re just scanning. And it’s quite possible that many of those scanners might linger on every word you write if typos and bloopers and unintentionally-broken punctuation or grammar rules weren’t making them stumble and wonder and lose their focus.

Typos and errors break up the “voice” that readers are trying to hear as they read your written words.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a freelancer, a blogger, a student, or anyone who writes for any reason. Most of us don’t have proofreaders or a skilled family member or friend to help us out on a regular basis. And if you’re submitting work to an agent or publisher or a big blog for consideration, why let typos and mistakes clutter and cloud the brilliant work you want them to read?
Any time you write something, you want readers to enjoy and appreciate your masterpiece. It’s your baby, an extension of yourself. Take good care of it.

Writing and editing is art. Proofreading is science.

So says Rushang Shah, President of Gramlee.com, an online editing service with editors behind the scenes constantly proofreading and copyediting. Rushang says that “all proofreading and copyediting involves the human element, and that’s why computers cannot replace a proofreader.”
Proofreading your own work can be challenging, it’s true. You already know the story, you already have a picture in your mind of what to expect and, as a result, you tend to skim over words and groups of words. Plus, you know your own voice and, even if there are errors in your writing, you don’t “hear” them or see them because you’re in a hurry, and your mind fills in the blanks as you skim over things. You might be daydreaming—even if you’re reading out loud.
If you have a system, though, proofreading can be like doing a quality check on an assembly line. It’s just busy work, really, and not very creative at all. But it’s so important.

Here are some tips to help you get your Eagle Eye on and proofread your own work like a pro.

1. Don’t proofread until you’re completely finished with the actual writing and editing. If you make major changes while proofreading, even if it’s just within sentences, you’re still in an artistic, creative mode, not a science mode.
2. Make sure you have no distractions or potential interruptions. Shut down email and social media, hide the cell phone, shut off the TV, radio, or music, and close the door. Print your document if you need to get away from the computer altogether.
3. Forget the content or story. Analyze sentence by sentence; don’t read in your usual way. Focus on spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Work backwards, if that helps, or say the words and sentences out loud. Concentrate.
4. Make several passes for different types of errors. Try checking spelling and end punctuation on one pass, grammar and internal punctuation on another, and links or format on yet another pass. Develop a system.
5. Take notes. If you notice a format issue while checking spelling or if you need to look something up, make a quick note and come back to it so you don’t lose your focus.
6. If you do make a last-minute change to a few words, be sure to check the entire sentence or even paragraph over again. Many errors are the result of changes made without adjusting other, related words.
7. Check facts, dates, quotes, tables, references, text boxes, and anything repetitive or outside of the main text separately. Focus on one element or several related aspects of your writing at a time.
8. Monitor yourself. If you find yourself drifting off and thinking about something else, go back over that section again. Try slapping your hand or tapping a foot in a rhythm as you examine each word and sentence out loud.
9. Get familiar with your frequent mistakes. Even the most expreienced writer mixes up their, they’re, and there or too, two, and to. When I’m tried or writing fast, I right what I here in my mind and just get careless. Not a big deal. That’s what proofreading is for. You caught those errors, didn’t you?
10. Check format last. Every document has format, even an email, whether it’s paragraph spacing, text wrap, indentations, spaces above and below a bullet list or between subheadings and text, and so on. Leave this for the end because contents may shift during handling.
You already know better than to rely on spell-check, so I won’t belabor the point except to say that “wear form he untied stats” doesn’t bother spell-check but it might get an American in trouble at a customs checkpoint.

What if you don’t quite know what you’re looking for while proofreading?

Do you know basic comma rules, how to use a semi-colon, or when to use who or whom? You might have an excellent sense of what things should look like or sound like, especially if you’re an avid reader, but if you don’t know basic grammar and punctuation rules, proofreading might be guesswork, at best, with doubtful results, at worst. Why not make your life easier and your writing better? Take some time to learn basic rules from some online resources I consult when I need help:

Grammar Girl: Quick and Dirty Tips
Purdue Online Writing Lab: General Writing Resources
Oxford Dictionaries: Better Writing
GrammarBook.com

You can also download a free copy of The Handy-Dandy Everybody’s Guide to Proofreading over at my blog, Peaceful Planet.

Don’t let mistakes tarnish your work of art, whether it’s a research paper, a blog post, a query letter, or business communication. And remember, proofreading is not the same as writing and editing. It’s not about creativity; it’s a science that needs a system. Follow these tips and create your own system, and you’ll have your Eagle Eye on in no time.

Leah McClellan is a freelance writer, copyeditor, proofreader, gardener, vegetarian, and animal lover who dreams of world peace and writes about communication at Peaceful Planet.