Police: Ledes

Let's look at some ledes; first, this one:

The Ingham County Sheriff's Office responded to an armed robbery around 1:30 a.m. today in Okemos.

It's factually correct, but does it go to end resul and ultimate outcome? No. It's like those hypothetical sports ledes we looked at last class: MSU football played a game Saturday night. It doesn't say how things finished, or at least set context. And in journalism, we start with ending and/or context.

The end result was what transpired. This lede got there:

An attempted armed robbery occurred today in Okemos, resulting in one arrest.

That's better, but there's still something missing. It wasn't a routine armed robbery; I mean, the clerk captured one of the robbers. That's different, right? So, why not highlight what makes this different, like this:

A store clerk captured one of two men who attempted an armed robbery at a convenience store this morning, according to an Ingham County sheriff's report.

Now, the reader knows not just that something happened, but what happened and how it ended.

It's fair to say what made this story stand out from other armed robbery stories is that the victim caught the suspect. What made it stand out among stories where the victim caught the suspect is that the victim was lame. This lede captured that extra element:

An armed robbery attempt at Jiffy Foods, 4010 Holbrook Drive in Okemos, was foiled by a clerk who had recently been injured in a construction job. 

Yet another lede developed that context -- a lame victim beating a robber -- a bit more.  This more anecdotal lede is followed by a nut graf that helped zero in on the basic details of end result:

While many view being cane-dependent as a handicap, Jiffy Foods clerk Terry DaRoza saw it as an advantage that helped save his life in an armed robbery late last night.

DaRoza, recently injured in a construction job, had to resort to violence when two customers threatened him with a knife at the convenience store on Holbrook Drive at 1:15 a.m., according to an Ingham County Sheriff's report.

This lede/nut graf combo did an outstanding job of setting context and offering basic details. Look carefully at how the nut graf answers specific questions created by the lede; e.g., who was the clerk, who was the robber, how did he defend himself, where and when did this happen, ect.

An injured convenience store clerk used his cane in self-defense this morning when two armed men  tried to rob Jiffy Foods, according to an Ingham County Sheriff's Department report.

At about 1:15 a.m., Terry DaRoza, 34, beat Timothy Keel with his cane after Keel allegedly pulled a knife on DaRoza at the store located at 4010 Holbrook Drive, the report said.

Then the story starts a chronological narrative. But the reader already known end result and context.