Squirrels: Watch Your Wordiness

Almost all of you called Oliver Brookes an associate professor of English.

Why not revise word order and shorten it to, an associate English professor?

Also, don't be afraid to cut to the chase, like in this graf:

Laura Ruffenboch had an explanation for why the creatures could be attracted to the cars. Ruffenboch is a wildlife professor at Lansing Community College. Ruffenboch said that the insulation on many electrical wires is made from a derivative of soybeans and squirrels may find that attractive.

There's a lot of wordiness here. The first sentence says she has an explanation but not what the explanation was, so it's not necessary. The second sentence simply states her position, and doesn't say anything else of value. The third sentence actually gets to the point.

I think you can eliminate the first sentence and merge the second and third sentences to say this:

Laura Ruffenboch, a wildlife professor at Lansing Community College, said that the insulation on many electrical wires is made from a derivative of soybeans and squirrels may find that attractive.

Now, the reader loses nothing except two sentences. Their fundamental understanding of who Ruffenboch is and what she has to say is unchanged.