Murder: Overall

Nice job by most folks on this exercise. Ledes were nice and to-the-point and most nut grafs were at least decently constructed.

Just remember a nut graf should expand upon details in the lede, and not simply repeat them, like the end of the nut graf here:

A man was murdered yesterday during the robbery of a local restaurant.

Kevin Blohm, a cook at the North Point Inn, was stabbed and killed when the restaurant was robbed yesterday morning.

Now, the nut graf did do many things well: from the lede to the nut it expanded on who (A man = Kevin Blohm), the what (murdered = stabbed), the when (yesterday = morning), the where (local restaurant = North Point Inn).

But on the why/how, you stumble. In the lede you say it was during a robbery; in the nut graf you simply repeat that.

Think about all the ways you could build upon that. In the nut graf you could note that the restaurant was robbed of $130. Or that it was robbed by as many as two unidentified men. Or it was robbed by at least one suspect who was still on the loose.

Regardless of how you advance the story, you must advance it in the nut graf and avoid such echoes of information.