There are ways to be more efficient in your use of words. For example, watch redundancies and opportunities to combine thoughts.
Let's look at this lede:
A local bike enthusiast and McDonald's manager was released from the hospital two days ago from the hospital two days ago from Mueller Memorial after being hit by a car.
"The hospital" and "Mueller Memorial" are the same thing. So why not say this:
A local bike enthusiast and McDonald's manager was released from the hospital two days ago from Mueller Memorial Hospital two days ago after being hit by a car.
A bit more clear, right?
Also, quite often "that" is an unnecessary word. Let's look at this passage (with all references to "that" in caps):
Taylor said THAT her condition actually got worse before getting better. She said THAT she developed complications after being moved to a rehab facility and then doctors discovered THAT she had some internal injuries.
Let's take out the "thats" and see what happens:
Taylor said her condition actually got worse before getting better. She said she developed complications after being moved to a rehab facility and then doctors discovered she had some internal injuries.
Does it change the meaning whatsoever?
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