Meeting -- Ledes

Really good work in this exercise by everybody. Lots of strong ledes and good story structure. Everybody scored at least a 3.0. One person got the first 4.0 of the semester. Congrats!

Let's look at some examples:

In an effort to address the growing problem of housing the city's homeless population, the Grand Ledge City Council voted 6-1 yesterday to donate city land to build a new homeless shelter.

It's to-the-point and direct. Here's a good lede/nut graf sequence:

The Grand Ledge City Council voted Monday in favor of donating land on Garland Avenue proposed by the Coalition for the Homeless Inc. as the site for a new homeless shelter.

The city council's 6-1 vote will turn the location of an old fire station valued at $5090,000 into a $1.5 million homeless shelter which the CHI will raise money to construct and provide the working staff.

One of you had your interest drawn to how the vote came about:

The Grand Ledge City Council approved a proposal Sunday by the Coalition for the Homeless Inc. to construct a homeless shelter on Garland Avenue, despite angry opposition from Council Member William Belmonte.

Though Ida Levine, the president of the coalition, assured the council her organization would raise the $1.5 million needed to construct the shelter, Belmonte was not convinced. In an angry outburst, he questioned the ability of the coalition to raise the funds and the effect their failure to do so would have on taxpayers in Grand Ledge.

"Why should taxpayers suddenly start paying for this, people who work hard for their money and are struggling these days to support their families?" he said.

Is this approach better or worse than the others? Or is it just different? Is this the right way to do this story, or are there several "right" ways?

This lede was atop a story that was structured very well, except for the lede. Here it is:

Organization leaders gathered at the city council meeting Monday night to discuss the idea of expanding the First United Methodist Church's basement, used as a homeless shelter that has recently become overwhelmed.

In the fifth graf, it first mentions the plan for a new shelter. And only in the last graf is the council's approval of the plan noted.

In this case, you essentially end the story with your lede: the ultimate outcome. Don't forget that, unlike traditional linear writing, in journalism you START with the ending.

Finally, if you're wondering if your lede is jumbled or is clear enough, do this: read it out loud. Does it sound jumbled? Then unjumble the word order. Does it sound like a complete sentence? If not, add the necessary words.

Read this one out loud:

A triumph for the newly-formed Coalition for the Homeless Inc. Sunday night, as the Grand Ledge City Council affirmed the donation of property on Garland Avenue for a homeless shelter.

What's missing? Perhaps a "There was" at the start?